


Scrambled Eggs

by superwholockfangirl



Category: The Beatles
Genre: And in love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, George is amazing too, Getting Together, I mean really really really lots of fluff, I'm bad at this tagging thing, John is Amazing, Love, M/M, Protective John, Rape, Ringo is best, and descriptions too, and summaries, but first in the later chapters, h/c, like lots of fluff, non-con, protective Beatles, whump Paul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-09-20 02:46:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 60,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9472052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superwholockfangirl/pseuds/superwholockfangirl
Summary: John is worried about Paul who's acting weird lately. When he gets a call from a hospital in the middle in the night because his friend had a car Crash, he immediately hurries to him to take him home and take care of him for a couple of days. while being there he finds out from a nurse that someone had raped him. John is shocked and determined to figure out what happened  and to make his best mate feel better again.But is Paul ready to talk about wat happened? Who was it? Can John protect him from Brian and the Producers who want to finish the movie? What about George and Ringo? And how will everyone react? Can he prevent him getting violated a second time? And the most important question: Will the two lovebirds finally confess their undying love for each other?





	1. John finds out

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a pretty Long fic. I almost finished it, so I can upload regularly.  
> I'm not a native Speaker, so there might be mistakes.  
> Oh, and I kind of ignored Cynthia and Jane completely. 
> 
> If I'd actually owned the Beatles I wouldn't spend my day writing dirty fanfics about them.

John was sitting on his couch, drinking another whiskey.  
He stared out of the window while his thoughts wandered to his best friend. Paul had acted strangely of late and apparently he didn't want to talk about it. But why? They used to tell each other everything. What happened?  
The whole thing had started a few days ago, when Paul hadn't been on time in the morning, like he usually was. He seemed distant and nervous about something. The others had noticed his changed behaviour too but Paul had tried to reassure them that everything was all right. They didn't believe one single word, but after all they couldn't force him to talk. Unfortunately.  
And his odd conduct hadn't vanished. He was jumpy and abnormal quiet.  
John himself had tried at least half a dozen times to speak about whatever was bothering him, but without succeed.  
“Dammit, McCartney!”, he murmured while he was drinking the last sip of his drink.  
Maybe he should try it again.  
But Paul didn't want to talk.  
Screw it! He was John fucking Lennon, he would make him!  
No, not Paul. Everyone but Paul.  
A sigh escaped his lips. Perhaps he was able to decide what to do after another drink.  
Suddenly the phone rang. He wondered briefly if he should answer. Not that he felt like it, but the possibility existed that it was Paul, who was calling him. A negligible possibility when he looked at his clock. It was far after midnight but still he decided to answer.  
“Hello?”  
“Mr Lennon?”, he sighed when he heard the voice of a young woman. Probably a reporter who somehow figured out his number.  
“Yeah, that's me.”, he answered to his own surprise. Normally he would have just hung up but something kept him from doing so this time.  
“I'm Nancy from central hospital. You're the emergency contact of James Paul McCartney?”  
John's heart beat faster.  
“Yes, what's wrong with him?” he asked shocked.  
“Well, he had a car accident. He's out of the critical condition, but he has some bruises and scratches, which is not a big problem, but because of his concussion he needs someone to watch him for the next 24 hours.”  
“Of course. I'm on my way.”  
“All right, but there's something else I would like to talk about with you from eye to eye. Big fan by the way.”, she said and hung up before John was able to ask something.  
As fast as he could he grabbed his jacket and the keys and ran to his car.  
Something in the voice she'd used made him panic-struck.  
As if the concussion wasn't bad enough.  
Poor Macca! John wouldn't let him out of his sight Not for one minute.

When he finally arrived at the hospital he was more than just worried. John jumped out of the car and hurried to the entrance. He stormed to the reception and demanded to see his friend.  
The young nurse was that surprised to see one of the Beatles standing in front of her she didn't manage a clear declaration. Instead she opened her mouth and closed it again.  
It annoyed John to no end. He was worried sick and this girl wasn't able to tell him where his friend was and if he was going to be okay.  
The second he ran out of patience, another nurse showed up.  
“Mr Lennon?”  
He recognized her voice. She was the one he'd phoned with.  
“I'm Nancy. Please follow me, then I can answer your questions.” She was a beautiful woman with long reddish hair and baby blue eyes. John did as he was told.  
They followed a long corridor till Nancy stopped in front of a glass door, which was as white as everything in the building.  
“Are you and Paul McCartney as near as it always seems in TV or magazines?”, she asked seriously.  
John didn't understand why she would ask such a thing, but the sincerity in her voice told him that there was a good reason behind her question.  
“Yeah, we are. Can you tell me now what else happened to him?”  
For a moment she looked at him searchingly.  
“All right.”, she sighed, “Well, when he arrived he was unconscious and his face was bloodstained because of a nasty scratch at his temple. So, we didn't know who he was and had to undress him to search for other injuries, but what I've found were traces of rape.”  
“What?!”, John starred at her in disbelieve.  
“I can't say when it happened, but I guess it was about a week ago. Normally you wouldn't see such injuries that long, but well, whoever this was, made sure they would still be visible by now.”  
“Oh my god!” That was the reason Paul acted so weird! But who was it? Who had dared to lay hands on his Paul!? Why hadn't he told him? How had he managed to carry on without breaking down completely? There were so many unanswered question in his head driving him mad.  
“Where is he? How is he? Can I see him? Did he told you something about... that?”, he rambled.  
“I can show you his room. Last time I was with him, he was still asleep but I'm sure he's going to wake up any minute.”, she answered.  
“Please, I need to see him!”  
She nodded and lead him to a bright door with a black nine on it.  
“You can take him with you as soon as he wakes up. Call me when you need something. I'm going to make sure nobody'll ever find out Paul McCartney was here.”  
“Thanks for everything!”  
She smiled sweetly, before she left. John stood there nervously. He inhaled deeply before he opened the door.  
The room was unsurprisingly white as well as the bed, the sheets and the small person lying underneath the equally coloured blanket. His heart sunk to his knees.  
Paul was even more pale than usual. There were some cuts on his forehead and his temple while his bangs were removed from his beautiful face and some bruises were shown on his smooth arms. He looked so weak and innocent. John clenched his hands into fists. His friend was in such a vulnerable state and he would make the man who did this to his Macca pay. He cared so much about him!  
Lennon kept down his anger and took a seat next to the bed. It really wasn't a comfy chair but he didn't care at all. He took his colourless hand in his own gently and rubbed with his thumb over the back of it.  
“Who did this to you, luv? Who could do such a thing to a lad like you? Where was I? Why didn't I protect you? Where have you been through? How do you feel right now? What can I do to make you feel better?”, he murmured while still caressing Paul's hand.  
He didn't know how long he sat there, just holding onto his best friend and ponder about what he was going to do. He sure as hell wouldn't let him just go back. Neither to his home, nor in his isolated mind condition. But what should he say? What do you normally say to your best friend who just got raped and didn't want to talk about it?  
After a little while he sensed him stir.  
Paul half opened his eyes. He had a severely headache and his remaining body parts hurt no less.  
“John...”, he whispered.  
“I'm here, Paul. How are you? Are you in pain?” his voice was full of concern.  
“No”, Paul lied. “What are you doing here?” He tried to sit up, but John pushed him down again.  
“Lay down, you don't look well and I don't want you to pass out on me. Do you remember the car accident you had?”  
Yeah, McCartney remembered. The other driver was drunk when the crash happened, but it wasn't only his fault, he himself was a little bit distracted and tired due to the lack of sleep he had recently. He nodded but regretted his action immediately because of the piercing pain running through his head. He moaned.  
“Does your head hurt? You have a bloody concussion, that's why the hospital phoned me. You need someone to take care of you for the next 24 hours at least.”  
“I'm sorry they phoned you. You don't have to oversee me. I'll get along!”  
“Oh no, I'm not going leave you alone. You'll stay with me and don't even think about standing up!”  
“John, I'm fine. Really!”, Paul protested.  
“No, you aren't!”, John stated with the same stubbornness as his friend. “And there isn't anything to discuss. They won't release you without someone to watch over you anyway, so you don't really have a choice, unless you want to stay here and we both know how much you hate hospitals!”, he grinned. He knew he had a point here.  
“All right, but I really am fine!”  
John had decided to wait till they were out of the hospital before he'd confront him. He didn't know how he would react and this wasn't the right place to find out.  
“Of course you are.”, he said sarcastically, “I'll get the nurse. I don't think you want to stay here any longer.”  
Sometimes it surprised Paul how well John knew him. He indeed hated hospitals and doctors and wanted to get out as fast as he could. He didn't need to explain it to him, he just... knew.  
Since Paul remembered, they had always been able to talk about everything. He blinked the upcoming tears away when he thought about the incident that had changed everything between them.  
Luckily John had gone already to find find somebody.  
When the auburn haired one came back he had a piece of paper which turned out to be the proof of his dismissal.  
He gave him the trousers he'd worn when the accident happened. Paul blushed slightly when John asked him if he needed his help to put them on and negated. He flushed even more when John didn't make a move to turn around for him to get dressed.  
“Oh, come on, Macca, don't be so shy. Nothing I haven’t seen before, have I?” he said rolling his eyes, but turned around notwithstanding. He could imagine the reason of his friend's sudden modesty and it made him angry to say the least. Not with Paul of course, but with the bloody fucking bastard who did this to him!  
“Thanks”, he murmured and got up on wobbling legs to pull on his trousers. But his headache returned as soon as he arose and his legs just gave in. Paul would have fallen to the ground if John hadn't been there to catch him just in time.  
“Oi! Paulie, you all right?” he asked concerned while holding him up by his waist and hip.  
“Yeah, I-I'm fine, Johnny. My legs are a little weaker than I thought, I guess. Thank you.”  
“You're very welcome.”, he chuckled, still holding him pressed against his chest, “Just let me take care of you. I'm here to help you.”  
Paul frowned. This wasn't the John Lennon he used to know. The John Lennon who joked about everything and everyone, who always made sarcastically comments and just didn't care what other people thought about him. He wasn't supposed to be caring... almost protective...  
“John, er, could you please...” John let go of him and pushed him down onto the bed gently.  
“All right, let's get you dressed. Unfortunately, your shirt is, well how could I say this? Unusable. The nurse said it was totally torn and full of blood, so I guess your trousers and my jacket have to be enough for now, although I still believe they just want to keep it, after all you're Paul McCartney!”  
Paul returned John's grin. “Never liked it anyway.”, he answered.  
“Come on then, princess.” he opened Paul's nightshirt.  
“Johnny, please, I can do this myself!”, he whined, but John ignored his protest.  
Paul shivered slightly when the shirt slipped down his shoulders and hit the ground. There were some bruises and scratches on his smooth skin and John couldn't help but stare at the younger man's chest.  
“I, er, flew through the windshield.”, he stated awkwardly.  
“Ouch.”  
“Yeah, a little.”  
The only thing Paul was wearing by now were his boxers. John got onto his knees helping his friend, who was bright red presently, to slip into his jeans before he gave him his jacket which was a little big.  
“Ta, Johnny”, he mumbled.  
“Haven’t done anything yet.”, he smiled at his younger friend.  
“You know, you don't have to do this... I mean looking out for me... I promise, I'm not going to pass out so there is no reason to-”  
John interrupted him softly. “But I want to. You are my friend and you are in pain, even if you keep denying it, so I'm going to take care of you whether you like it or not!”  
Paul sighed heavily. “There is no way out, isn't it?”  
“Come on, it's not going to be that bad. I promise I'll behave.”  
Paul got up gingerly and Lennon just wanted to carry his small vulnerable body. It took all his strength to resist this urge and followed him closely behind, so he could catch him, if he was about to fall. He didn't though.  
They made their way outside.  
John helped him to enter the car, but neither of them spoke a word. Heavy silence was filling the air while John was thinking about something to say, but he couldn't find the right words (if the right words even existed), so he remained silent.  
He wondered what Paul was thinking about right now and how he really felt whereas he glanced at him.  
His friend was sitting next to him with tired empty eyes staring out of the window without focusing on anything. His usually cute happy expression had turned into something sad and agonized. If John hadn't known better, he would've said he was broken. But he knew better. There wasn't anything they couldn't fix together, at least he hoped so.


	2. John confronts Paul

Luckily the hospital wasn't far from his home. So after a few minutes of driving in silent they arrived at John's.   
Paul tried to get out the car but failed miserably.   
“You could just ask for help instead of kissing the ground.”, John sighed.  
“Don't need help. I get along on my own very well.”, he insisted.   
“Don't be silly!” And before Paul could complain or contradict John had already lifted him up and carried him bridal style into his house.  
“John!”, Paul whined, “Let me down!”  
“Sorry, dear, but you're not supposed to walk around much in your condition, especially not with that wobbly legs of yours, so just enjoy the ride!”  
“Dammit, John! ...Just don't drop me!”, he held onto him tightly.  
“Relax, I won't. Trust me!”  
John brought him inside and sat him on the couch carefully. Paul moaned in pain and held his head.   
“Are you okay? How can I help?”  
“I'm fine.”, he sighed hiding his head in his hands.  
“No, you aren't, stop lying to me!”  
Paul flinched at John's knowing voice. “I don't know what you're talking about.”  
John who'd stand next to him him, sat down beside him.   
“I think, you know very well what I'm talking about!”, John said, wishing he could take the pain from his younger friend. “Listen, when they examined you, they found... something.”  
“No.”, he whispered in disbelieve, tears welling up in his big doe eyes.  
“Did he...?”, John didn't know how to put his question.  
“NO ONE HAS DONE ANYTHING TO ME!”, Paul screamed all of a sudden and got up to his feet as fast as he could. He felt his head throbbing and his heart racing. Panic built up in the pitch of his stomach and threatened to overhelm him. His brain was clouded with fear and shame thus he couldn't think straight. He didn't even notice when he started panting. The thought of John knowing his secret made everything what happened much more real and caused some memories to come back in flasbacks. There was a knife in front of his eyes, a familiar face above him... and a burning pain when-   
“Paul, you are hyperventilating!” John didn't know what to do. Following his instinct he reached out for him.“Everything's all right. Just calm down, please!”  
But Paul didn't even hear him. He was too far away by now.   
As John touched him he flinched but Lennon didn't give up. He pulled him into a hug and wrapped his arms protectively around Paul, who started to freak out. He slammed his small hands against John's back and screamed, but his friend held him tight. After a few seconds he stopped screaming and instead started to cry. They slit to the ground.   
His whole body was shaking and trembling while sobs escaped uncontrollably. He felt so weak and vulnerable and it hurt John to see him like this.   
Paul was now holding onto him for dear life and John's arms were slung around him possessively, ready to protect him from everything outside his safe four walls.   
“Everything's gonna be okay! I'm here now, nobody will ever do something like this to you again! I'll protect you, I'll take care of you!”, he promised, while rocking Paul back and forth.  
His friend was sobbing and weeping and John didn't know what to do or how to help, so he just stayed where he was.  
“I-I'm so s-s-sorry!”, Paul cried.  
“Shhh! There isn't anything you should be sorry for.”  
“It wa-was my f-f-fault!”  
“No, it wasn't. You... you couldn't control it!”  
“I should h-have tried t-to push him away, I-!”, he was barely audible through his tear-chocked voice.  
“He could've killed you! There's nothing you could have done, believe me, Paulie!” he hugged him tighter.   
“You have to think I'm a bloody queer now!”, he cried.  
“Of course not! He forced you! He-”, he hesitated to really express it, “he raped you!”  
Paul sobbed even louder when he heard this words.   
“Oh Paulie!”, John's eyes got moist too. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? You know, I'd do everything for you!”, he ran his hands through Paul's thick soft hair  
Paul who was still weeping breathed a weak “Stay!”.  
“Course, I do. I'm not going to leave you. That's a promise.”  
About half an hour later Paul had calmed down a little but the boys were still sitting pressed against each other.   
Paul didn't dare to face John. He felt ashamed, embarrassed and exposed. He hated the fact he'd cried in front of him feeling so helpless and vulnerable. Especially when he compared himself with John. John who seemed always so strong (although he knew better) and sometimes made fun of the little weaknesses others had, even though he never did it maliciously.   
“May I ask you something?”, John interrupted the silence.  
“Yeah.” Paul answered faintly, though he really didn't want to know what John's question was.   
“Why haven’t you said anything? I mean, you know you can tell me everything. Ringo and George too. Where you afraid of him? Did he threatened you?”  
“God, I feel sick!”, Paul mumbled. “Of course, he did. Said he would kill me, but I don't know if I would have told you something whether he did it or not.”  
“Why? You can trust me, you know that, right?”  
“John, I had sex with a man! How could I even start to explain this!”, Paul was almost crying again. John noticed how upset Paul was and cursed himself.  
“Shhh! It's all right, Paulie! I'm sorry! You don't have to say anything else, just listen, okay?”   
Paul nodded weakly.  
“First of all: whatever this guy exactly did to you, it wasn't sex. Sex is something you enjoy and you didn't enjoy this, did you? See? So please don't be ashamed of what happened to you. It wasn't your fault! Nobody's going to judge you because of this. All I wanna do is help and I'm sure the others would think so too, if you decide to tell them what happened, but you don't have to think about this now. You must be tired. What do you think? Wanna sleep?”  
Paul didn't trust his voice enough to say something, so he just nodded. John helped him to get up and made a move to lift him up again, but Paul pushed his hand away gently.  
“Let's get you up then!”, John sighed and directed him to the stairs paying attention at every step Paul took, so he could be there in time in the case he fell.   
Once they were upstairs John took him to his bedroom. Paul looked nervously at the big king sized bed in front of him.   
John who noticed Paul's glance, asked: “Do you mind sleeping with me? I mean it's all right, really! I just thought you might have troubles sleeping, you know, but I have guest rooms if you like to sleep alone. I could stay there overnight so you can get some rest and-”  
Paul interrupted him slightly shaking: “No no, it's all right! I just thought for a moment..., but I know, you're not like him. After all, we've slept in the same bed for years and we are going to do it again when we are on tour again after the recordings for the movie. I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't behave like-”  
“No, Macca, it's all right! It's totally normal to feel so, but you know I could never hurt you! I just don't want you to be alone again!”  
Paul flashed him a weak smile, but his tremor increased a little. As a consequence he felt John's worried look on him.   
“Come here!” John wrapped his arms around his younger friend who tensed a little.  
“It's okay, Macca, I'm not him! I'll never do you no harm! I would never do something like this to you!”, he promised.   
Usually, he wasn't a guy for hugs but at the moment there was nothing he'd rather do than to hold Paul tight. And on the other hand Paul had always been his exception.   
“Going soft on me, Lennon?”, Paul tried to loosen the mood. He didn't want to cry in front of his friend again.   
“Yeah, but don't tell anyone.”, he nuzzled his hair.  
Paul was more than surprised. He had never seen his friend like this before; all soft and gentle and sensitive. It was a whole new side he got to know and he couldn't say he didn't like this John, but it remembered him constantly of the reason why he behaved like that. John wasn't supposed to see him like a victim. Paul knew he would regret one day that he hadn't resist but for now he couldn't help than to get lost in the warm embrace of his friend.  
“What happened to you didn't make you weak, you know that, right?” Sometimes John seemed to be able to read his mind.  
“How could this not make me weak, John? I couldn't protect myself! I was rigid with fear when he threatened me with that knife and- and-”, he was close to tears by now.  
John held him tighter.   
“Don't do this to yourself, Macca! You did everything you could and what happened could've happened to every other person as well!”  
“But-” Paul didn't get the chance to say something.  
“Please, you have to believe me! Why would I lie to you?”   
Paul didn't know how to answer this. Maybe John was right. Why should he be here anyway, if his friend really was such a weak dirty queer?   
Maybe he pities you, a nasty little voice in his head screamed, but he ignored her for now. He was so damn tired! He felt worn and burnt out, after all those restless nights full of nightmares and fear. His head hurt like a bitch and throbbed at every movement. Everything he wanted right now was to sleep in John's arms and forget for a while.  
“Er, John... could we lay down, please? I fear my legs won't do it much longer.”, he nearly whispered.   
“Of course.”, John nodded and pushed them on the bed gently without out letting him go.   
“I'm going to undress you now, Macca, you don't have to fear anything, all right?”  
Paul nodded weakly, way too done to be modest about it.  
He perceived John's warm hands opening his jacket and exposing his bare chest.   
“You know I can do this on my own, right?”, he asked eyes half closed.   
“Course you can, but I don't want you to move right now. How's your headache?”  
“I'll survive it.”  
“That wasn't my question.”, John insisted while unbuckling the belt of his friends trousers.   
“Yeah but my answer!”, he became defensive. “Look, it's not what affect me the most right now, you understand?”, he added softer.  
“I know. I just don't like thinking that you are in pain and there's nothing I can do to help you through.”  
“It's all right. Really, John, you don't have to-” he shuddered when John pulled down his trousers. Paul took a deep breath to calm himself down. John was not him. He would never hurt him. He wasn't going to turn him around and rip down his underwear to stick his hard- fuck he was almost hyperventilating!  
“Paul! Paul, it's me! I'm not going to hurt you, I promise!”  
Paul needed a moment to calm himself down.  
“I'm sorry. I know you would never...”, he tried desperately to hold back the tears. He couldn't let his friend touch him without getting an anxiety attack anymore. How could he ever get back to normal this way? It was especially bad when he thought about the other feelings he had for John. His secret feelings. The way he felt when the older one looked at him, how he craved for his touch, whether it was a friendly hug or a matey pat on the shoulder. He loved how they always defended each other in front of the press or from the their friends and manager when they didn't understand the behaviour or the attitude of the other one.  
He knew there wasn't any future for them as a pair (There was no way John would ever return his feelings) and he'd never touch him the way he wished he would, but the thought that he could react this way to an innocent touch...   
“Hey, everything's going to be all right! I'm there for you. Nobody's going to hurt you again!”  
Paul nodded. He didn't know what else to say. Well, actually he had a lot to say. He wanted to ask John why he was still putting up with him for example or why he was caring so much. But to be honest, he was way too tired and his questions could wait till tomorrow.  
“You look weary, Macca. Want me to turn off the lights?” John-mind-reader-Lennon asked.  
“Please”, he mumbled, eyes half closed. John smiled gently at him and got up to switch of the lights.  
“John?” Paul's weak voice came from the bed.  
“Yeah?”  
“You're going to stay with me tonight, are you?”  
His heart jumped a little. “Course, I will, you silly git!”  
He went back to bed in the dark.   
“Thanks.”, Paul said barely audible.   
“You don't know how welcome you are.”, John answered and pulled the covers over the both of them, hugging Paul tightly who rested his head on the auburn haired one's chest.  
“Goodnight.”, John said but Paul was already sleeping.  
John himself needed much more time to fall asleep. He just couldn't stop his brain from thinking. He had to figure out how to help Macca and what to do about the rapist. They couldn't let him get away with impunity, now could they? No, how should Paul go on with the knowledge the man who had abused and raped him could be hiding behind the next door or waiting for him in front of the studio.  
He caressed Paul's smooth thick hair.   
He knew he shouldn't enjoy the feeling of his mate's warm small body pressed against him but he couldn't help it. Of course he felt sorry for Macca. He wished none of that had never happened to him and that he could just erase the pain this bastard had caused, but despite his guilt he truly wished they could sleep like that every night.  
After some time watching his friend sleeping his eyes fell shut too.


	3. Paul breaks down again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your comments and kudos! I'm glad you like it!

It was still dark when John woke up. He blinked a few times and wondered what had awoken him. He searched for Paul automatically but the place beside him was empty.   
“Paul?” he asked frightened.   
He heard retching noises from the bathroom, getting up immediately he practically ran into the direction of the noises.   
Paul was sitting in front of the loo. He cowered on the ground and was vomiting heavily.   
“Paul?”, he hurried to him.  
Paul looked up. His eyes were cloudy and full of pain.  
“Are you all right?” he asked sliding down next to him.  
“Yeah.”, he panted, “Please go out, you can't-” he retched, “see me like this!”  
“I'm not going anywhere!”, John whispered while rubbing slowly circles on his back.   
He vomited again.   
John was sitting behind him helplessly. What could he do to make his friend feel better? Trying to remember what helped him when he had a stomach flu a few years ago, he pressed his chest against Paul's back and let his hands caress and massage his tummy gently. Was this okay or was it too intimate? Paul startled but didn't say anything.   
“It's just me, remember?” And Paul relaxed.  
John knew how vomiting could upset him and in his actual condition... he just wanted to sooth him. After Paul was done he leaned back and breathed heavily.   
John got him a glass of water and rubbed his face clean with a wet towel gently.  
“Are you done?”   
Paul nodded and tried to calm himself. His head was spinning. He tried to get up, but neither could he coordinate his legs nor did his head play along.   
“It's all right, mate, just take it easy!”, John helped him up and carried him bridal style back to bed. He felt his younger friend's body shivering against his own and tightened his grip a little. God knows how long Paul had been sitting on the cold tiles in the middle of the night.  
John laid down with Paul cuddled to him and pulled the cover over the both of them.  
“You feel better now? Does your tummy hurt?”, he asked, carefully massaging his belly.  
“I'm all right, John, really.”, Paul sounded weak.  
“Liar.”, John whispered softly.  
“I know.”  
“If you have to throw up again just wake me up! Can't let you spend there all night, sitting in the cold worshipping the toilet.” John only half joked.  
“You know I won't.”, his voice had gotten weaker.  
“What? Throwing up or telling me?”  
“Both, I guess.”, Paul snuggled a little closer since he was still shivering.   
“Are you cold?”, John asked, pressing their body's closer together to warm up his friend.  
“A little.” Paul confessed.   
“Do you want another blanket?”, he offered.  
“No, you are warm enough.”  
“Right, just try to get back to sleep again. You must be tired.”  
Paul nodded and closed his eyes. He concentrated on the warm body next to him and John's regular breathing. It calmed him down enough to fall asleep again, feeling save in the arms of his best friend.

First when Paul woke up he didn't know where he was. Of course he recognized the room quick, after all he had been at John's often before but it took him much longer to figure out that everything that happened yesterday wasn't just a dream. His eyes went wide. What had he done?   
The side next to him was empty so he ignored his throbbing headache and the dizziness and got up. 

John had woken up about half an hour before, spooning Paul. He'd decided to prepare breakfast and make some important calls. A sigh escaped his lips. Penultimate week they had finished to film the last scenes which played in the London theatre and started immediately with the work in the studios. While Brian wanted them to stay in a motel like they did on tour, none of the Beatles (especially John) was willingly to spent again a few weeks in two small rooms captured like prisoners. In the end Eppy had to accept their decision. After all it was a calm place. No screaming teenagers in the neighbourhood (they actually managed to keep the abode of them secret from the press and the fans) and they didn't leave their houses or flats often and if they did only in disguise. Lennon had thought it went well. Now he coursed himself for thinking this for just one minute.   
He finished his phone call with Brian, when he heard noises from behind.  
John turned around and saw Paul standing in the door frame. His skin was pale and he looked like he was in pain, but what him really shocked was the lost glance in his eyes.   
“Morning, Paul. How are you today? Are you still feeling sick?”, he tried to greet him as cheerfully as Paul would normally do, but failed miserably.   
“I'm fine. Much better than yesterday. Thanks for everything, John, but I guess I have to go home now.” He couldn't look him in the eyes. What had he done?! Did he really let John carry and undress him? Did they cuddle all night and hold onto each other? Had John see him crying like a little girl? Paul couldn't believe it! After everything he'd told and the way he'd behaved John had to think of him as a fairy!   
Paul had to lean on the wall while making his way to the front door. He was so absent he didn't even notice that he was still wearing nothing but boxers when John grabbed his wrist.   
He turned him around easily. Paul stiffened under his grip.  
“Relax, Paulie, it's me! Come on, lets get you back to bed again. You shouldn't be up anyway.”   
“No, I-I have to go, I-” he tried to free himself.   
“Paul, that's rubbish. You have a concussion, you can't go outside especially not with nothing but boxers. So, stay calm and let me help you before your legs give in!” John headed back to bedroom, dragging Paul along. He felt the urge to carry his fragile body again but for some reason he knew it wouldn't do any good to insecure Paul.  
When they arrived he sat on the edge of his bed and indicated Paul to take a seat next to him. He hesitated a moment but obeyed in the end.  
“What's going on in that head of yours?”, John asked gently. “Are you embarrassed because of yesterday? Are you scared of that rapist since you told me? Please, Macca, talk to me!”   
Paul looked at his hands and started to bit his lower lip.  
“I don't know.”, he whispered, “It's the first, maybe, but perhaps it's also the second. I just...” he trailed off. What else could he say? He'd tried to runaway, but John hadn't let him.  
“Oh, Paulie!”, John knelt in front of him, “Listen, I would never think less of you because of what he did to you. It's not your fault! It's his fault and mine too, but not yours, never yours!”  
Paul looked up in surprise.   
“Why on earth do you think it's your fault? You wasn't even there when it... happened!”  
“That's the point. I wasn't there to protect you and it took me over a week to figure out what's wrong with you and even now I know, I have no idea how to help you.”  
“John! I should be able to protect myself! I'm not a bird!”, Paul didn't know how to feel, touched or angry. To be honest he was confused.  
“I know you aren't a bird and you don't need protection, but you are my best friend. I don't like to see you down. Besides, when we're on stage there are a lots of police officers around to protect us. Didn't make us weak, does it?”  
“No, but-”  
“No buts! Trust me, Paul, you aren't weak. You know me, I wouldn't lie to you about such a thing!”  
“I-I know...” Deep inside him, he knew John was right. Why should he lie to him? He was always very frankly with people and their weaknesses. He was just so... he couldn't put it into words. He still felt so dizzy and weak he couldn't think clearly. He felt himself trembling while pictures were coming down on him and he sensed the pain again. This much too well-known face from his past he'd never expected to see again sending scornful grins and sneering smiles at him.  
“Paul?” he heard John calling his name after he got up quickly and rushed to the bathroom.  
He got there just in time before he started to throw up heavily into the toilet. His throat hurt badly and he was way too exhausted to stand, so he cowered on the floor while fighting with the darkness overcoming him.   
“Oh Paulie!”, John sat down behind him and rubbed his back soothingly. After Paul stopped vomiting for a few moments he pulled him onto his lap and embraced him from behind. He knew Paul was shortly before fainting and passing out wouldn't do any good to his upset tummy right now.  
“Stay with me Macca! I know you can do it!”, he whispered.   
When Paul had calmed down a little he asked: “Do you have to throw up again?”   
Paul negated and John carried him to his bed again, where he carefully cleaned his face and let him drink a glass of water.  
He placed him down on the bed and pulled the blanket above him. Paul was alarmingly pale and still shivered uncontrollably.   
John kicked himself mentally, Paul had overstrained himself and he hadn't prevent him from doing so.   
“Shhh! Everything's all right, Macca!”, he promised soothingly while he laid on his side next to him. “Just close your eyes and try to sleep a little. We'll talk later when you wake up again.”  
Paul looked at him horrified. “I can't! Every time I close my eyes I see this pictures, I-I can see him! I can feel him!” he whispered and a dry sob escaped him.  
“You're completely safe here, I promise. He can't hurt you again. I'm here to protect you!”  
“I know, John! But I-I just can't help it! I mean, I know it's ridiculous and absurd, b-but I...”  
“Macca! It's not ridiculous! If you're scared of sleeping right now, it's all right! Just stay in bed and I'll make you a cup of tea!” He wanted to get up, but Paul held him back.  
“Could you just stay for a minute? I dunno... I just...” he blushed slightly.  
“Course I will.” He sat up in a way that allowed him to slip behind Paul and pulled the lad half on his lap. He stroked his soft hair gently, while Paul snuggled a little closer instinctively.   
“Does your tummy still hurts?”  
“A little.” Paul answered.   
John's hands wandered farther down to message his belly carefully.  
“John?”  
“Yes, Macca dear?”  
“Why do you care so much about me?” his voice was weak and tired and it broke John's heart in a million pieces.  
“You're me friend.”, he said matter of factly, but of course he knew that this wasn't exactly what Paul had meant.   
“I mean, would you act the same way if it wasn't me but George or Ringo?”  
“No”, John answered honestly, “They're not like you. You know I would try to help them the best I can, but in the end I would say something very wrong and make everything worse. It was never like this with you, you know? You're special to me.” John couldn't remember ever been this honest. Not even to himself. This had to be Paul's influence.  
Paul was a little taken aback by his blunt statement. It surprised him, John were never one for the fluffy stuff. Well, of course he had his soft sides and Paul had believed he knew this sides on John (better than anybody else maybe), but as it turned out now John could still surprise him after all those years. It was one of the many things which had made him fall for him.  
“How is your head?”, John asked after a minute of silence.   
“It's not that bad, really.”  
“Tell me if it gets worse and I'll get you something against the pain.”   
Paul nodded though they both knew he would never admit it.  
John wanted to ask some more questions. Questions about the rapist, when and where it happened, if it still hurt, but he knew it would upset his friend and he wasn't going to risk his health again, especially once he just calmed down. Maybe he could start with something more uncontroversial.  
“Do you, er, wanna talk about it?”  
Paul turned around to face him. John tried to read him as he usually could but for some reason it didn't work this time.  
“No, not really.”, he sighed, “Maybe later, when I can speak about without starting to cry like a little girl or throw up.”   
“I wouldn't mind, you know, nor judge.”  
“But I would.” John didn't ask what exactly he meant, minding or judging. Maybe both.   
They kept quiet for a few minutes, both pondering about various things, till Paul broke the silence: “John?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I would like to get dressed, you know, it's kind of weird to lie half on your lap in nothing but boxers,”, he blushed a little, “but I don't have any of my clothes here. Could I borrow some of yours?”  
“Of course you can, Silly!”   
John stand up and walked to his wardrobe. “I guess, you'd prefer something comfy?”  
He picked some fresh boxer shorts, dark grey sweatpants, socks and the smallest of his black t-shirts, he could find. Paul got up, too.  
“Want my help to change?”, John asked.   
“Thanks, I get along.” Paul answered, turning red.   
“All right. Want some, well you can hardly call it breakfast any more?”  
“I'm not exactly sure if I could keep it.”, he confessed.  
John looked at him with concern. “What about something light, like toast and maybe a little honey?”, he offered. “You know, you have to eat something, otherwise you get weaker and you can barely walk with your wobbly legs already.”  
He expected Paul to contradict but instead he got a weak nod and a “I know”, which concerned him even more.   
“I'm at the kitchen. Call me if you need my help.”, he left the room for Paul to get dressed.  
As soon as John had gone he grabbed his head in pain. He hadn't want to show John how strong the aching in his head was. Standing exhausted him, but he didn't want to seem even more weaker in front of his older friend. He'd be fine.   
He dressed as quickly as he could with his tired arms and weak knees and went down to join John in the kitchen.   
John turned around when he heard footsteps behind him.   
“Paul, why aren't you in bed as you're supposed to be? I would've brought the food up. You shouldn't use the stairs in your condition anyway.”  
He looked at Paul. The lad was pale as death which got underwrote by the dark and slightly too big clothes. His eyes were shadowed and there were big bags under them. On his smooth arms were long nasty scratches. Everything in John screamed to take that small weak body and lay down with him in his arms to protect him from this cold bleak world. John had already stopped wondering why he had all of a sudden such unprecedented urges.   
“John, please, I'm a grown up not a five year old. And I can't spend all day in bed!”  
Just as John was about to answer the doorbell ringed.


	4. John and Paul get visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments! I really appreciate them, cause I'm still learning this language, so a helpful feedbackis very welcome. 
> 
> For everyone who is waiting that finally something happens: You have to be a little Patience with me. *Something* is definetely going to happen in the following chapters, but this Story is never the less more about hurt/comfort and fluff than anything else.

“Stay here.”, he ordered and went to open the door. He wasn't expecting anyone.  
As soon as he'd unlocked the front door, George and Ringo rushed in. Concern was drawn all over their faces.   
“How is he? What happened?”, George asked.  
John concluded immediately what must have happened. After he'd phoned Brian to cancel the record because of Paul's accident (of course he hadn't said anything about the rape), their manager apparently told George and Ringo about it who got worried instantly and came over.   
“He had a car crash. He's alive.”  
“What do you mean 'he's alive'? Is it that bad? Where is he?”   
But before John could answer George's questions, they got interrupted from a weak: “John?”  
They turned around to see poor pale Paul with fallen cheeks and tired glance standing in the door frame.  
“Blimey! Paul!”, George exclaimed in shock and then pulled him into a crushing hug.   
“Er, hi, Georgie.” Paul's tummy didn't like the sudden movements and made some crazy flip flops. With a helpless expression he looked at John who understood immediately and dragged their youngest friend away from him.  
“George, he has a concussion. You'll make him ill.”  
“Oh. Sorry.”  
“It's all right.”, Paul smiled at him weakly, “Hi, Rings.”  
“Hello, Paul. How are you?”, Ringo smiled warmly.  
“I'm fine.”  
“Really? Because when Brian phoned us he said John'd sounded alarmingly serious.”, George looked from John to Paul and back.  
“What? When have you called Brian and why?”, Paul asked a little concerned. What had John told their manager?  
“I talked with him while you were sleeping. Just said we wouldn't come to studio today because of your accident.”, he explained, exactly knowing what Paul was thinking.   
Ringo was starring at his arms covered with scratches. He sensed that there was far more than a concussion which was responsible for his friend's condition.   
“You don't look like you should walk around this much. Why don't we take a seat?”, he suggested.  
“Yeah”, John said quick before Paul could reject to substantiate he was well, “we just wanted to eat something. What about a second breakfast for you two?”  
“You know me, always up for food!”, George said eagerly and the others laughed.  
They went to the living room and sat down onto the couch. John brought some milk, tea, toast, honey and marmalade and they started eating.   
Paul was a little nervous. Would they find out? Would John tell them? What would happen if they knew? Would they react like John and pity him or would they be mad like he thought originally John would be?   
Well, he wasn't going to find out, because in any case they would never see him like a normal man again.   
Deep in thoughts he didn't notice the concerned glances of his friends.  
“Paul?”, Ringo asked finally, “Are you all right? You're so quiet. You know, it's George's part.” the joke was lame but Paul smiled at him nevertheless. Well, at least he tried to flash him his famous McCartney-smile but he just couldn't get himself to form his lips proper. As a result he got a sadly scared grimace.   
“Sure, everything's fine.”  
“John, could you show me the way to the toilet? I fear I'd get lost on the way.”   
Ringo didn't care about finding a better reason than this shitty excuse to speak with John in private for a moment.  
“I could show you.”, Paul offered, but George shook his head immediately.  
“No, you won't. You look like you are going to faint at once.”   
John stood up immediately, instead of making fun at Ringo and indicated him to follow him.

He wasn't surprised at all when Ringo pulled him into the kitchen and closed the door behind them.  
“What the heck happened to Paul?!”, he asked short-tempered.   
John sighed. He knew exactly what his friend was speaking about, but there was no way in hell, he'd tell anyone anything without Paul's permission at first. “Well, he had this car accident, you know. He got a concussion, so-”  
Ringo interrupted him: “Did you see him? You can't tell me it's all about a bloody concussion, John! We all knew there was something up with the lad and now you deny it, so I conclude he'd told you what this is all about.”   
John knew Ringo wasn't stupid, but at the moment he wished his friend were, at least right now, a little bit more oblivious to what was happening around him.  
“Look, Ritchie,”, he sighed, “I'm not saying he did tell me anything, but even if he did I couldn't tell you about that.”  
“And why not? As long as I know you, you've never cared if you had the right to tell someone something, you just... did it. What's the difference now?”  
And of course, Ringo was right again. What was different now? Maybe he just wanted to protect his friend from an embarrassing situation and the shocked gazes. Perhaps he didn't want to loose Paul's trust, because exactly this would happen if he told anyone.   
Though he didn't really understand the reason for his doing he knew he just couldn't tell Ringo. Not when Paul was that weak and fragile and still struggling with himself to let anyone -in this case John- near him.  
After all he couldn't say for sure how Ringo would react and he couldn't take a risk. He just managed to convince Paul that it wasn't his fault. What would happen when George or Ringo or both told him that he was disgusting and weak for not being able to protect himself proper?   
John knew that it was really unlikely, but he wasn't able to stop himself from thinking about Paul and the hurt in his eyes.  
“Rings, I can't!”  
“Why? Did you have to swear on Elvis or what?”, he could hear the sarcasm in his friends voice and really, he couldn't blame him. After all he would react the same way.  
“He's scared, I don't want to make it worse by telling anyone and deceiving his trust. Just give him time. He'll tell you when he's ready for it.”  
Ringo sighed. He knew how stubborn John could be and that he wasn't going to tell him. At least not now. He would've to wait or find another way to figure out what was wrong with their friend. He sensed there was something big going on and was determined to find out one way or another. Eventually, Paul was a good mate, always nice and polite and helpful. Ringo could barely remember any moments when he'd seen him blue and certainly never out of control. That's why he was so shocked when he had first seen the condition he was in.   
“Fine, then tell me just this: is he going to be all right?”  
“I'll do everything I can to make sure of that.”, John assured him, avoiding the question. “Let's get back to the others, now. Paul wasn't feeling well at all before the two of you arrived and I'm afraid he won't get better as long as you are around. No offence, mate, but you know him. Doesn't want to seem weak in front of others. It's already bad enough when we are on our own.”

In the meanwhile George'd took his chance with Paul alone and tried to get out what was bothering him.  
“Come on, Paulie, we both know there's something wrong. Why don't you tell me?”  
“I don't know what you are talking about!”, he insisted, “The only thing that happened is the car crash and you know about that.”  
“Why do you insist so hard on denying it? Was it that bad you don’t want to talk about it? Or do you don't trust me enough?”, George grabbed his hand and moved a bit closer.   
Paul got up on his feet quickly and took a few steps back. He felt a wave of dizziness rush over him and had to blink a few times to make the darkness who was looming to over come him vanish.   
“I trust you, Georgie, I really do, I just-”, he grabbed his head in sudden pain, unable to continue. His head felt like someone just smashed him against a wall. Again.  
“Damn!”, George cursed, he really hadn't mean to upset the poor boy. He reached for him and tried to lead him back to the couch, but Paul just moaned and kept his eyes closed firmly.   
“Paul! Paulie! What's wrong? Please talk to me!”  
John and Ringo chose exactly this moment to enter the room.  
They both needed a second to grasp the situation. Paul, even paler than before, was standing -more cowering by now- in the middle of the room, hands by his temple and eyelids kept shut closely. He tried to suppress a moan but without success.   
Within seconds John was standing by his side and supported him. He felt how Paul's knees got weak and he was near fainting.  
“What the hell happened? Why was he standing?”, John scowled at George.  
“I'm sorry, I-”  
“Not his fault.”, Paul murmured half unconscious.  
“Dammit, Macca!”, John whispered gently and lifted his body from the ground to carry him back to the couch. Ringo and George were standing awkwardly beside the sofa while John laid his friend down carefully.   
Paul's eyes fluttered open for a brief moment. He wanted to reassure the others and tell them he was fine, but he wasn't able to form proper words, so he just concentrated on trying not to faint, which was easier said than done. For a moment he was really tempted to let the darkness carry him away, if this meant he wouldn't have any pain for a few minutes.  
But he knew he couldn't allow himself to lose control like this. Not again.  
“C'mon, Paulie! Stay with me! I know you can do this, okay? Just calm down!”  
After a few minutes of fighting he'd won the battle and closed his eyes in exhaustion. John stroked his hair gently. Normally, George or Ringo would make a joke about the two being a couple of queers or something, but not today. After all they both knew it was rubbish. John and Paul were as close as mates could be, true, but that was all. They had a lot in common eventually for example the way too early death of their mothers, so no one was really surprised they roomed most of the time together and spent more times with each other than with their families or girlfriends. Furthermore, the two were always a little touchy.  
Nonetheless, there was something... more intimate in their touch today.   
“Maybe we should go.”, Ringo chimed in, “guess we've caused enough trouble for a day.”, he spoke jokingly but with a hint of seriousness. “If you need something, give us a call. We're going to tell Brian and his gang to leave you alone for the next few days.”  
“The next few days? What's about the movie and the records? We need to-” John interrupted his friend.  
“There's no way I let you sing like this. The only thing we are leaving for is the doctor or hospital.”  
“I agree with John!”, George said.  
It took them a couple of minutes before they had fully convinced Paul to stay home, more precisely at John's. After a few “Get well soon!” wishes from Ringo and George they said their goodbyes and left.  
John accompanied them the way out.   
“Are you all right, Macca?”, he asked when he got back.  
“Sure.”   
“You look tired.”, he stated.  
“I'm fine, I promise.”  
John sighed. “Come on, I turn out the lights, so you can sleep a little. You know the doctor said you should rest a lot.”  
Paul wanted to protest, but he was too exhausted and tired to contradict. The lights were switched off and John settled down onto the couch after he covered his friend's body with a woollen blanket.   
“If you keep staring at me like this, I will certainly not be able to sleep.”, chuckled Paul weakly. All John wanted to do right now was to kiss his fears and troubles away, but he knew he couldn't. It would not only jeopardize their precious friendship, but also scare his poor friend to death after everything that happened.  
“Fine. I guess, I'm off then. When you wake up again, you should drink some tea. Don't want you to get dehydrated now, won't we?”  
He smiled wearily.   
“Do you want something against the pain? Or do you need a waste bin in case you have to throw up again?”, John couldn't stop himself from rambling.  
“I'll be fine, John. Really.”  
He didn't hear his friends answer anymore, because as soon as he'd closed his eyes he fell into the lands of dreams.


	5. Paul finally tells John about the rape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your comments again! I hope you enjoy the following chapter!

*A smirking face was hovering about him. So dark. So mean. So familiar.  
Paul felt how the man in front of him pushed him against the wall and he began to panic. He struggled against the hands holding him in place, but in vain.  
“Please! I know you, you don't really want to do this! Remember we were friends once!”, he tried to reason. The guy unzipped his pants as an answer.  
“Oh, you have no idea how much I want this. After all you're the cute one. Always have been. You've let me down, Paulie. You, John, George and Ringo, you got famous and thought you could pretend nothing ever happened, but not with me! I'm going to make sure you'll never be able to forget me again after this night!”  
“We never meant to-”, but Paul's protest made the man even angrier. He turned him around brutally. His hands were captured behind his back while the man used his free hand to press a knife against his neck. Paul was freaking out. He squirmed and screamed, but the attacker had no mercy.  
“Hush, pretty boy! Otherwise you won't ever be able to use that wonderful voice of yours again!”, his voice was sickly sweet and he increased the pressure on the knife.  
Paul let out a shriek when his pants were pulled down, quickly followed by his underpants. He couldn't fully gasp what happened with him. It was so hard to focus. Everything he knew was that he didn't want to be here, but he hadn't any chance to escape. He perceived sharp metal cutting in his sensitive skin and felt utterly exposed when his underwear slipped down his ankles.  
The guy behind him moaned. “You really got a pretty ass. Looks like a girl from behind!”, he kneaded his butt while Paul's cheeks burned in crimson. A few rough slaps followed and he cried out in pain. “Also sounds like a girl. Why am I not surprised?”, he leaned in closer for Paul to feel the hot breath on his cheek and the erection of his tormentors poking him. “I always imagined how it would be to do it with a guy. You know, not as a queer but as the curious Teddy Boy I was. The first day I laid eyes on you I thought `this guy would be perfect. He looks like a girl.' Of course I would've never done it this way back then, I always thought we were friends and friends would never do this to each other, but now that I got proved wrong...”, he left the sentence empty.  
“Please!”, Paul begged voice full of tears.  
But he didn't listen to him, instead he gripped Paul's dick and started to stroke him. He couldn't imagine he ever had felt so humiliated. It got even worse when he felt himself getting hard. Everything he wanted was to vanish into the ground.  
“Oh, someone's having a hard-on here?”, he teased,“See, little whore? You like it. You are the queer not me. A dirty little slut, a worthless piece of shit that's what you are, McCartney! See what I can do to you?”, he stroked harder and after Paul failed in the attempt to hold back a moan he gave him a hard squeeze and got a yelp of pain in return.  
Then, without a warning the man positioned his hard cock and pushed inside Paul. It took his breath away. He felt a wave of pain overcoming him with an indescribable intensity. He'd never felt something like this before, like he was tore apart from the inside. And in this exact moment he gave up every hope. The hope of stopping the guy, a man he'd once called a friend. The hope of someone walk in on them and helping him. The hope the whole situation was just a bad dream and he would wake up every second. He just gave up.  
No one had ever caused him to feel used like this. Used. Dirty. Guilty. Cheap. Embarrassed. Humiliated.  
“Hmmmm! So tight!”, he let the knife falling down onto the ground, “Don't try anything, believe me, you wouldn't get far.”  
But Paul wasn't able to think proper, let alone making flight plans. He was disgusted with himself. How could he allow this man doing this to him?!  
The rapist started to thrust hard, careless and brutally. Every single push ripped him apart mentally and physically.  
He knew he should scream, but he wouldn't.  
He knew he should fight back, but he couldn't.  
He knew he should begging him to stop, but he didn't.  
“Tell me you like it. Tell me, you want to feel me come inside of you!”, he yanked at his dick and slammed into his body. Paul wanted to throw up. Sickness was overcoming him.  
“Come on, say how bad you really need me. Maybe I'll let you come too, then!”  
This was too much, he bent over and-* 

“Paul! Dammit, Paulie! Please wake up!”, Paul felt someone shaking him on his shoulders. His eyes flew open, but everything he saw was the dark alley and the previously so familiar face above him. His body was shaking violently and he felt the pain wavering through his body. He tried to throw off the hands touching him and holding his body.  
“Paul, it's me! Calm down, it's only me, mate!” John held his hands firm but gently in order to keep him from hurting himself. It was only now that Paul noticed where he really was and what happened. He brushed away the tears he'd cried involuntary. His breathing was still a little too fast and John who'd put down two cups of hot tea, sat down next to him to sooth him, but Paul flinched. New tears were finding their way down his cheeks and Paul tried to say something, but all he managed was: “Sorry, didn't want to hit you!”  
“It's all right! You just had a nightmare.”, he wanted to touch Paul so badly. “Macca, what was your dream about? Who did this to you?”  
His friend looked at him in shock. “No! I can't tell you, I- He-”  
He got up quickly, running to the sink and started to throw up severely. Within a second John was standing behind him, supporting and soothing him though he tried not to touch his friend too much. When he finished he half lead half carried him back to the couch.  
“You all right?”  
“Yeah. Bloody concussion!”, Paul murmered.  
“Paul, why can't you tell me what happened and who it was?”, John knew this was hard, but he had to know. He had to protect Macca from him and he knew it would help him to talk about the rape.  
“I can't tell you, because you wouldn't believe me!”  
“Paulie, I promise I would believe you no matter what! And if you told me it was Elvis!”  
But Paul still hesitated.  
“I know him, right?”  
“No, you knew him once. The man he is now has nothing to do with the guy from the past. I won't say his name, John. Please, just let it go.”  
“Fine, tell me first what exactly happened then.”, John demanded gently.  
His friend shivered and blushed furiously.  
“I don't want you to know, don't you understand? The things he'd done to me, he was- it- it was so humiliating. You can't imagine- You would see me with other eyes! You-” it was hard for him to breath proper. John couldn't help himself than to reach out for his friend and holding him on his shoulders so he had to face him.  
“Paul, what has he done to you that you're so afraid of telling me? I know you're embarrassed. I know you still feel pain. So please, let me help you. Tell me, so I can understand what you're feeling and know what I can do to help you. I would never judge nor see you with other eyes, I promise.”, John pleaded though he knew the last part wasn't probably completely true. It would take a lot of time till his urges to protect his younger friend would've fully vanished (if they would at all), but Paul didn't need to know that.  
“Guess I don’t really have another choice, have I?”, but he didn't wait for John to answer. He finally built up the courage and began to speak before it would vanish again.  
“It was a weeks ago, after this shooting. It was late. I couldn't sleep and wanted to go into a pub to drink something. I thought I wouldn't need much disguise, because it was already 2pm. I was almost there when I met him. He- We talked, but he got mad at- I honestly am not sure at what. We were alone in this dark alley and I wanted to go, but he wouldn't let me. Suddenly he pressed me against a wall and- and- he unzipped his trousers and told me I wouldn't forget him again this way. He turned me around and I screamed, but he had this knife! My pants and underpants were pulled down. H-he slapped me, said that I would scream like a girl and that this was one of the reason he'd wanted to do this to me in the first place. Then he t-touched me. He touched me, John!”, Paul looked up at John with an embarrassed desperate expression in his face, his breathing way too fast while tears were still falling from his eyes. He felt so utterly exposed and abashed in front of his friend, but he couldn't stop talking now.  
“Shhh! It's all right, Paulie!”, John tried to calm him down. He wanted him to stop. He didn't want to hear what this oh so dead guy did to him! Wanted to tell him he didn't had to do this, but he knew if he stopped him right now, none of them would built up the courage to speak about this ever again.  
“No, it's not! I got a bloody hard-on! John! I got stiff from this guy touching me!”, he cried.  
John didn't know what to say. This bastard had touched Paul just for him to feel guilty and even more humiliated about it afterwards! How dared he?! As if it wasn't worse enough to rape him! No he actually had to touch him there just to make him feel more ashamed! He clenched his hands into fists.  
Paul, misunderstanding John's reaction cried even more.  
“See? I knew you would be mad at me for it! And now you think I'm a fairy and hate me because of this! You believe I deserve what happened and that I liked it but I didn't, John, I swear! It was-”  
John who'd finally found back to reality pulled him into a hug.  
“Macca, I could never hate you! It wasn't your fault. Nobody could blame you for your body's reaction and it doesn't make you queer. I know you didn't like it. It's totally normal to react this way to... caressing.”  
“He didn't caress me, he stroked me until I- I was hard then he squeezed me and-”, a sob was interrupting him and he buried his head into the crook of his friend's neck.  
“Oh, Macca!”, John whispered compassionately and held him tighter.  
“He teased me about it.”, Paul mumbled after a few minutes of silence. John was grateful the younger one continued voluntarily. He wouldn't have the cruelty to demand it.  
“He called me a worthless whore and told me I'd like it. Then h-h-he-”, there was no way in hell Paul could finish this sentence. John could feel his grip tighten automatically.  
“Then he pushed inside you?”, he asked gently. The younger one sobbed affirmatively.  
“It hurt so much. I felt like someone would rip me apart. He started to... thrust in and out and asked me to tell him how much I wanted him and that I'd love to feel him... coming inside of me, maybe he would let me come too then.”, he felt his cheeks burning, “That was too much. I just started to throw up. He hit me and rammed into me more brutally. I knew by the way he moaned he was about to come. When he actually- You can't imagine how it felt. It was terrible! But I thought, at least it's over now! But it wasn't. He turned me around again and- and finished me off.”  
John's eyes grew wide.  
“You mean he- he really...?”  
“He wanked me, John!”, Paul couldn’t look into his eyes.  
“He made you come?!”  
“I didn’t want it! You have to believe me, I didn't like it, I swear!”  
“Shhh! I know! I've got you! You're safe here!” John hold him tight and let Paul cry silently against his neck.  
“Who was it, Paul? You can't fool me, you know him. Tell me who he is!”  
“Why? So you can beat him up and cause a scandal?”, Paul knew he'd never expose his name. For his and John's own sake.  
“I won't beat him up, Macca. I'll torture him to death, then I'll cut of his head, quarter him and sink his ugly corpse into a big hole of shit. But I won't beat him, I promise.” He almost made Paul laugh, but the dead serious glare and the gravity of their situation made him go silent.  
“John, even if you would believe me, which I doubt you would, I couldn't say his name. It would end me if the public knew what happened. Please, just respect my decision.”  
John sighed. Maybe Paul was right. Maybe it wouldn't do any good and only make everything worse.  
Rubbish! Damn it, John held his crying friend in his arms after he got raped for fucks sake! How could anything get worse?! But he knew Paul wouldn't say the name. At least not now. So he just held and tried to sooth him and gave him the comfort he needed so much.


	6. John and Paul settle for an agreement and Brian comes to visit them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thanks for your comments and here's my new chapter!  
> And honestly I promise after the next chapter something's finally going to happen!

After about half an hour Paul had calmed down a little and stopped crying, even if it was probably just because he'd no tears left, John took it as a good sign. He knew it was partial his fault and though there hadn't been another way to get him to talk he would make up for the damage he caused.   
“C'mon, Macca dear, I'll go get us some tea and something to eat for you, so you can calm down a little.”   
“Don't think eating would be such a good idea.”, Paul pointed out. He sounded weak and tired causing John to feel even worse for what he did before.   
“When was the last time you ate something you could keep?”, he sighed and gave Paul his cup with the still warm tea.   
“I honestly don't know. Maybe the morning before the accident.”  
“That was more than 24 hours ago!” John sighed, “Is your tummy that bad?”  
“No,”, Paul lied, “I'm just not very hungry.”  
His friend looked through him easily.   
“Come here!”, he demanded gently. Paul hesitated. What was John going to do? Not that he didn't trust him. He just wasn't sure he wanted someone to touch him right now. But it was John!  
He let Lennon pull him half on his lap. When he felt a warm calloused hand sliding under his shirt, he tensed.  
“John, what are you doing?”, he asked, his voice trembling.   
“Nothing, luv, just trying to sooth your upset stomach. I won't hurt you, I promise. If you want me to stop, I will.”  
“I think it's all right then.”, he breathed a little unsteady.  
“You need to calm down, Paulie! It won't ease your pain when you are all tensed up like this.”  
He tried to but it took him a few minutes to fully relax against his older friend.  
This has to look so queer, he thought, but didn't say anything.  
“Paul?”, John asked after a few minutes of silence.  
“Yes, John?”, he looked up to him with big innocent doe-eyes and John had to swallow. So beautiful.   
“I want you to stay.”, he stated. Paul couldn't quite understand what his friend was saying. What was so special on staying another night?  
“What do you mean exactly?”, he asked.  
“I don't want you to be alone. Not with your concussion and your nightmares. Not with this monster still being at large. I want you to stay with me, at least for a few weeks. Please, stay!”  
“John, I...”, Paul was a little overwhelmed to say the least.   
“Please, Paul! I don't want to worry all the time. I don't want to imagine this guy coming back and abusing you when you don't pick up the phone when I call you or spent all night wondering if you're having a nightmare right now. We were practically living together for years and we are going to room together after this whole movie thing is over. What would a few weeks more matter? Plus, you can't tell me you're not scared by living alone in this house after what happened!”  
Paul thought about it. Of course John was right. He turned around at every step he took and each noise in his wooden house (especially at night) scared him to death. But moving together with John? Could this actually be the solution? A part of him would do nothing rather and got all tingly and excited at the idea of sleeping in the same bed and eating breakfast together every day. Though his reasonable site told him how dangerous it was going to be if he let this part of him gain the upperhand his decision was made. Furthermore he wasn't fancy returning home at all.   
“You are serious?”, he inquired.  
“Dead serious.” John confirmed.   
“Right then.”  
John was grinning at him. “I promise I'll behave! Oh boy, this is going to be sooo much fun!” Paul saw the childish joy and enthusiasm in his friend's eyes and smiled about it. It had been a while since he last heard John speaking like this, all joking and cheerfully.  
“We should probably get a some of my stuff here, you know, I really like your clothes, but they are a little big.”  
“We can let George and Ritchie do it! They offered their help after all.”, John suggested.  
“And say what? 'Hey, guys, could you bring me clothes and my guitar to John. I'm going to stay there for a couple of weeks. Why? Oh just the usual. I got raped, he don't want me to live on my own, but I don't really want to go home anyway, so it' s all right, I guess'?”  
“Well, if you don't want them to know, I'd cut the rape part and just say 'he don't want me to live on my own and I don't want to go home.'”  
“That'd sound pretty queer, don't you think?”  
“Maybe, but they are used to this by now.”  
Paul chuckled. He had missed his old John.   
“Seriously. I'll ask them to bring you clothes and your guitar and what else you need for a few days. We can pick up the leftovers later. That wouldn't make them more suspicious than they already are.”  
“Than they already are?”, Paul asked.  
“Yeah, you know, I had a really interesting conversation with Rings when I 'led him to the loo'.”  
“Me too. With George while the two of you were away.”, he confessed.   
“Was that the reason you were standing though you were in such a poor condition?”  
“Yeah. He said I wouldn't trust him enough. You know, it's not about trust.”  
John nodded. He understood what Paul was saying.   
“I know. I should've hit him for doing so. What was he thinking? You would feel more guilty than you already did and tell him everything? Stupid git!”  
“It wasn't his fault, John and you know that! He thought he was trying to help me and be honest, you would have done the same in his position!”, Paul defended his friend.  
“He almost caused you to faint! And if I'd done this to you I would slap myself!”, John explained.  
Paul sighed. “We both know, it wasn't his fault. There is no way he could have known better.”  
“I know, it just makes me angry, you know.”  
Paul smiled at him understandingly.

 

Paul was showering when the doorbell rang. In the meantime it had become evening and John had talked with the other band members to bring over some of their friend's stuff. After a few queer jokes they'd promise to come around about seven.   
John looked at his clock. It was quarter to seven. They came early.  
He opened the door, ready to greet them with a joke when he saw who really was standing in front of the door. Brian.  
He covered up his surprise. “''ello, Eppy, already missed us, eh? Well, Paul is showering right now, but I guess you wouldn't mind waiting outside the shower holding his towel for him.”  
Their manager blushed slightly.  
“Good evening, John. May I come in? I got Paul's things.”, he asked polite as always.  
John stepped aside for Brian to get in.   
“Naughty boy! Digging in Macca's underwear drawer again?” He just couldn't help it. He loved to tease Brian.  
“How is he?”, Epstein asked, ignoring John's jokes.  
“I bet you'd like to know that!”  
“Heaven, John! Your friend has a car accident, gets serious injuries and all you can do is making queer jokes?”  
“Actually, I was by his site all day, making tea, stroking his hair, cuddling and comforting him, help him to get dressed, sleep with him...” John told him this with a mocking voice. He didn't want others to know how much he really cared.  
“Of course you did.”, Brian spoke sarcastically. “When do you think Paul will be finish showering?”  
“Why? What do you want from him?”, John asked though he exactly knew what Brian wanted to know.  
“Just want to see if he's all right. That's all.”, he lied.  
“Eppy, he can't work. He's completely done. Almost fainted today half a dozen times and we barely did something exhausting!”  
“Don't you think he should decide what he's capable of doing? After all we have a deadline for that movie!”  
“Fuck this! The doctor said he shouldn't work for a weak at least. And we both know him. If you'd ask him to come with you to the studio right now, his answer would be yes. He wouldn't take care of his health, he'd just do what you want him to till he'd collapse! Do you want this?”  
“Want what?”  
The two turned around noticing a wet Paul who wore only a towel around his hips. He were standing a bit awkwardly holding onto the doorframe slightly. He looked weak and exhausted from being up for so long and before Brian could said anything, John had grabbed his friend to lead him to the couch once again.   
“We were just talking about this scene where we run away from the police. Eppy had some lame ideas about a man who's trying to steal a car while we are running. Just boring stuff.”  
“Don't sound boring to me. Tell us more!”, he demanded as the businessman he was, looking expecting at the manager.  
“Oh, like John said. Just a funny idea which came to my mind. Don't think it would be implementable anyway.”, Brian started sweating. John and his crazy ideas!  
“Oh, well. What are you doing here by the way? Not that I'm about to complain, I just thought Georgie and Ringo wanted to bring my stuff.”  
“I phoned with them and told them I were about to visit you anyway and could bring it to you personally.”, he explained.  
“Thanks, that's very kind of you.”  
“You are welcome. If there's something I can do for you don't hesitant asking.”  
“Oh, I think we have everything so far.”  
John was about to roll his eyes. It was always so terrible boring when Brian and Paul talked.   
Polite. Correct. Marinate. BORING.   
Normally, John would make a joke about them being a couple of fairies in order to make them both blush furiously. But right now, he didn't feel like joking about his best mate. Not as long as he remembered the hurt and the desperation in his eyes as he'd affirmed him that he wasn't a queer and that he hadn't liked what this guy had done to him.  
“How are you doing by the way?”, Brian asked.  
“I'm fine, really. John is a first class nurse.”, Paul smiled at him half mocking half lovingly, causing John's heart to jump.   
“Forgive me if I can't quite believe that.”  
“Oh, you should have been there, he-”  
“What was our topic again?”, John interrupted Paul before it could get even more embarrassing for him. He had a reputation after all!  
“Thanks, John, I almost forgot. We have have a few problems with 'And I love her', well not exactly problems, but Lester has a few questions to the guitar part, which George couldn't really answer. Probably because you hadn't much time to practice it. I know you aren't exactly well and John said you wouldn't be able to come this week, but you know, we have a deadline, so it would be great if you could come to the studio at least for an hour to answer a few questions and probably sing it once or twice. As much as I hate me for this, but would that be possible?”  
“No!”, John said, before Paul had a chance to answer.  
“John! It's his decision!”, Brian warned.  
“Paul, you can't actually considering this. You can't even stand properly. You'll kill yourself, son!”  
“But he's right John. We have to finish this movie. We're coming tomorrow morning in the studio, Brian. Can you tell the others?”  
“Of course. Thanks, Paul, I knew I could rely on you.”  
Paul smiled. “If you are going to stay for a cup of tea, I'll dress myself decently.”  
“Oh no, sorry, lads. I have to do some important calls at home, but thanks. I'm going to leave you now. You should go to bed, Paul, you're way too pale and you look tired. Well, have a nice evening.”  
“Thanks, you too.”  
“I'll accompany you out.”, John stated, “You stay!”, he said when Paul made a move to get up too.  
When the two older ones arrived at the door and Brian said goodbye, John came closer and almost whispered: “If something's gonna happen to him tomorrow in the studio, I'll make you responsible for it!”  
Brian swallowed. John had never been more serious.   
When Brian had left, John went back to the living room. The scene before him made his heart melt. Paul was lying on the couch deeply asleep.   
He looked so peaceful and so much younger than he really was. Indeed, if John hadn't known better, he'd swear he had sixteen year old Paul McCartney on his couch who was lying passed out on his bed after performing for hours. Gigs were the most difficult for Paul and Stu, because they were always going to school the following day, unlike John and his other mates who were skipping classes regularly. Hell, even little Georgie would oversleep school and when his mother forced him to go, he'd sleep during class. Stu would often leave earlier, so he'd get enough sleep, but not Paul. Paul always stayed till the end with him.   
John smiled, thinking of his young friend who loved Rock And Roll and wore way too big leather clothes which he had to change before he went home to make dinner for his brother and father and doing his homework like the little swot he were. Sweet Macca. Sweet little innocent Macca.   
John sighed. He wouldn't dare to wake him up, so he just laid his arms around his friend and picked him up from the couch. Paul snuggled closer automatically.   
“Come on, Paulie, let's get you into bed.”, he whispered gently, carrying him up to his bedroom where he undressed him carefully and laid him into the bed.   
While he looked at Paul's sleeping features he felt the idea for a song crawling up. Why not? It was too early for him to actually fall asleep though he was a little tired. He brought his notice book and a pen and began to scribble down words, while watching Paul sleeping.

 

When I'm in the middle of a dream  
Stay in bed, float up stream  
Please don't wake me, no, don't shake me  
Leave me where I am  
I'm only sleeping

John smiled. God, this was so queer. But he couldn't deny that he loved every bloody second of it. 

Please, don't spoil my day, I'm miles away  
And after all I'm only sleeping  
Keeping an eye on the world going by my window  
Taking my time

Well, this was in need of some additions. Maybe he would finish it with Paul when he felt better. He yawned. All this writing and thinking of sleep had increased his weariness.   
He stripped to his underwear and laid beside Paul. He cradled him in his arms and hoped for his own sake his friend wouldn't wake up.   
“Good night, Macca!”, he whispered into the silent darkness.  
It didn't took him long to be fast asleep too.


	7. John and Paul go to the studio where something happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who wrote a comment! Like I promised before in this chapter there'll be a bit more action (well, at least at the end of the chapter). I have to say I'm not completely pleased with the first part of the chapter, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

When he woke up the sun was falling in through the windows and the open curtains. His hands were automatically searching for Paul, but they only took hold of the sheets.  
“Paul?”, he got up quickly.   
His clock informed him that it was already 8 a.m.   
He heard damped noises from the bathroom and knew instantly why his friend wasn't lying by his site any more.   
So, he got up quickly and knocked on the bathroom door before he entered in order to avoid startling his friend who was hanging over the toilet again.   
He looked as if he was in pain and an exhaustion was drawn all over his face.   
John sat down behind him, rubbing small circles on his back and whispering soothing words till Paul's stomach calmed down enough.   
“Better?”, John asked while helping Paul up and supporting him on his way back to bed.  
“Yeah, thanks, John.”  
John sighed. “They shouldn't oblige you to do this!”  
“What?”, Paul asked though he exactly knew what his friend was on about.  
“Paul, you look terrible! You shouldn't be up let alone work! And in the hospital they said you should stay at home for at least one week and that only if it doesn't get worse. Let's face it, it got worse! They can't force you! Please, let me call them and tell them to fuck off!”  
“John, I'm all right! After something to eat I'll be as new! And I won't let you call them just to insult them for doing their job.”  
“Fine, but remember, I won't let you out of my eyesight and if it gets too much I'll take you out of there and we drive home. Don't think I won't carry you if I have to, because I will!”  
Paul just had to smile about that.  
“I know, Johnny. As long as you are around nothing bad could ever happen to me.”

Surprisingly, Paul turned out to be right. John couldn't help than to notice a small improvement after his friend forced himself to eat something. He still looked as if he was going to collapse every second, but he managed to get dressed and to put on jacket and shoes.  
“Come on, John, hurry! I don't want to be late!”  
John smiled. Paul's attitude to work hadn't changed a bit. It was nice to see is friend all smiling and excited again, though he feared tiredness and pain would replace joy and excitement soon.  
But when it'd came come to this, he would be there and get him out of the studio immediately.  
“I'm coming, Macca!”, he put on his long black coat and followed him out to his car.   
John drove slowly and more carefully than he ever did in his whole live. He didn't want to upset Paul's stomach more, or increase the headache he knew his friend still had.  
Paul indeed didn't look too comfortable.  
“You all right there, mate? You look like you're going to throw up. Want me to stop the car?”, he asked with concern in his voice.  
“No, it's fine. Just... just keep driving, please.”  
John nodded slightly, but still kept eyeing the younger one from time to time.  
When they arrived, he practically jumped out off the car to inhale the fresh air greedily. John made his way around the car to help him to get into the studio. After all he was still a little weak on his legs and falling would neither help his head nor his stomach.   
Paul let John support him. He knew contradicting wouldn't lead to anything.  
In the studio they were greeted from an angry George and an insecure Ringo. They were talking -well more arguing for that matter- with Brian, Richard Lester, George Martin and some other guys they didn't know further, when Paul and John entered.   
George was obviously furious about something and when he turned around and approached his friends, John had a good idea about what he was that mad.  
“Paul! You shouldn't be here!”, he greeted them.   
Paul raised one of his perfectly shaped eyebrows.  
“Good morning to you, too?”  
“I can't believe Brian actually did this!”, George continued rambling, “He can't demand you to work while you're in this condition. I mean, what is he expecting? You should be in bed right now! John, how could you let this happen?”  
“Well, Brian came visiting us yesterday in the evening. And you know Paul, always up to work the kid, so Brian only had to bat his eyelashes a few times and Paul promised him to show up.” John was thinking exactly the same way as George.  
“I'm standing right beside you, you know that?!”, Paul complained, but was completely ignored the other two.  
“How are you feeling anyway? Do you fancy passing out because of this greedy businessmen who just care about money?”  
“Well, it wouldn't be to their advantage to let me pass out. If I did they wouldn't be able to continue making money with me and they know that, so no worries!”, Paul said only half joking.  
George and John looked at him in desbelieve, but Ringo who was standing next to George by now, grinned at him.  
”The lad has got a point there!”  
Paul smiled back. It was really refreshing to have someone on your site for once.  
“Why are you on his site? Fancy seeing him break down?”, George asked upset.   
“No, I only want to sing his parts. I can do better anyway!”  
Paul laughed. It was wonderful to have Ringo around. Even John couldn't help himself but smile.   
“Well, it's not that hard to do, you know. We only let him sing because the birds like to see his face.”  
Only George was still mad.  
“Just to make it clear: You agree into letting him work in his condition till he passes out, just to keep the deadline?”  
“Georgie, Paul is a grown up who can make decisions for himself. Plus, he just has a concussion. It's not like he's pregnant. Or is he? Johhhn?”  
Paul enjoyed Ringo's carefree joking.  
“Shit! They found out our secret, Paulie!”  
“Crap!”  
“Hey lads, sorry to interrupt you but we should start, you know, so Paul will be back home soon.”, Brian interrupted them, George Martin standing by his side. Paul and Ringo nodded while George and John were grumbling something not very polite at them.  
They handed Paul the text (though he knew the song by heart) and a few notes while the other three went off to attune their instruments. Or in Ringo's case to prepare his drums and look for the sticks which had the habit to get lost all the time.  
Paul spoke to George Martin about some details before he went to the others.  
“Like we said before, boys, this isn't about recording. All we want to do is to practice this song and decide in which part of the movie we can insert it. Also we need to take some notes for the acoustic, so try it as clearly as possible!”, Lester informed them.  
They started to play a slow melody and Paul began to sing.

I give her all my love  
That's all I do   
And If you saw my love  
You'd love her too  
And I love her

She gives me everything  
and tenderly  
the kiss my lover brings   
she brings to me  
And I love her

Paul got lost in the music. It was wonderful to forget everything what happened since this night a week ago. It made him feel free and careless. He loved what music could do to him.

A love like ours  
could never die  
as long as I   
have you near me

He'd got so lost in the melody he hadn't notice he was starring at John the entire time. And John stared back. He blushed and avoided his eyes quickly. 

Bright are the stars that shine  
dark is the sky  
I know this love of mine  
will never die  
And I love her

John couldn't stop starring at his friend. Macca looked so beautiful when he sang, especially today. And this song was fitting him so unbelievable good! It was all loving and sweet and innocent but full of of kindness and hidden wisdom, just like him.   
Not to forget the way he sang it, no one could compare with that. He'd always loved Paul's voice, far more than his own as a fact. He loved the way Paul could sing easily the highest and the lowest notes, while he himself always received his own voice as a little hoarse and unmelodious.  
The song ended after Paul repeated the last verse.   
“This was really great boys!”, George M. told them, “Now I'd like to hear it without drums.” Ringo who hadn't much to do in this song anyway made a move to get up, but Paul stopped him. “I don't know. I quiet like the drums in it. I fear it would loose structure.”  
“I have to agree with Paul, it would sound really sloppy like this.”, John said. He liked it exactly this way.  
George nodded in agreement too.   
Brian, Lester and George Martin talked quietly with each other.   
“Well, you may be right, but we'd like to give it a try anyway.”, George M. decided.  
So, they played it a second time. It turned out that Paul was right, of course. But they wanted to hear it once more. This time a little bit slower. John didn't understand why they had to change something about this song constantly. Paul had written it. It was already perfect and unquestionably he'd already considered every other way to play this song and picked out the best version.   
Paul looked already exhausted when they started a third time, but didn't said anything.  
Apparently the producers were absolutely oblivious to Paul's condition because they even demanded another attempt. John got incredibly angry and concerned at the same time. Brian knew Paul couldn't make it much longer, they all knew, but no one was going to do something about it, though he saw how George was struggling to tell them off. It just wasn't like quiet Georgie to do so.   
“Are you all right, Paulie?”, John whispered gently.   
His friend smiled at him weakly and nodded a 'yes'.  
But after another time of singing he collapsed with the last chords of the song on the ground, trying to regain his breath. His head and stomach hurt like someone just had driven him over.  
The other three were by his site immediately. Out of instinct John put a hand on Paul's forehead and felt a fever building up.   
“You all right there, mate?”, Ringo asked.  
“What did I say? Till he breaks down!”  
“That's enough! I'll take him home right now!”, John stated angry.  
“John, please! We aren't ready yet!”  
“Yes, we are!”  
Brian ignored John and turned around to face the younger Beatle.   
“How are you, Paul? Would you manage one or two more takes?”  
“I need some fresh air first, but yes.”  
The others stared at him in disbelieve.   
“Are you bloody serious?!”  
“George is right, you can't even stand!”, John agreed with his friend.  
“Don't need to stand to sing, right, Eppy?”  
“Right, we can bring up a chair.”  
“This is crazy! Are you out of mind?!”, George was furious. He couldn't believe his friend was doing this to himself and even worse, nobody seemed to care enough to actually prohibit it. Paul was obviously not clear! They had to protect him from himself!  
“Come on, Paul, you can't do this! I told you before I won't let this happen. Don't force me to carry you out!”  
Paul's eyes grew wide. He didn't want John to carry him away, he wanted to stay. For the first time since the accident he felt truly useful and not at last they had responsibilities to fulfill. He couldn't go now. He just couldn't.   
“Boys, leave him alone!”, he looked up to Ringo who pulled them aside. “You two won't make it any better if you take him the air to breath!”  
And before one of them could protest, Ringo let himself fall down beside him and looked at him with concern but also acceptance.   
“Thanks.”, Paul panted. He still had some difficulties breathing, but after Ringo had silenced their friends it got slowly better.   
Ringo smiled at him.   
“Nobody's going to carry you out of here if you don't want to, Paulie, so calm down.”   
He obeyed.   
“Good. Do you really want to continue? You know, we could resume in a few days, when you're better and we still could keep the deadline.” his voice was as calm as his demeanor.   
“Please, Ritchie, I want to do it now.”  
“All right then. Let's carry on.” Ringo stood up. “Want me to help you?”, he asked, holding out his hand. Paul let the older one pull him up since his legs were still a bit wobbly.   
“Ringo, he's too weak to sing let alone walk, don't encourage him into doing so!”, George objected.  
“Well, he knows what he's doing, he's a grown up and he won't change his mind, so we can as well support him now, can't we?”, he knew George was as concerned as him and John but to treat Paul like a little child would be rather counterproductive.   
“John, say something!”, he hoped for some help from John's site.  
“You really want to do that?”, he knew Ringo had a point.   
“Yeah.”, Paul answered.  
“Well, I'm not exactly thrilled, but let's do it together then.”  
George wanted to say something, but got interrupted.  
“All right, let's have a break then. I want to see you again in twenty minutes!”  
“Want me to accompany you?”, John asked him, but Paul just smiled weakly at him and shook his head carefully. “No, thanks.”  
He feared he was going to throw up again and knew John would be even less thrilled about his decision than he was now.   
So he made his way out quickly.   
With the fresh air in his lungs he felt immediately better though it was a little frigid. But he didn't want to go back to get his jacket. He wandered through the lonely streets around the building. He didn't encounter any human soul on this grey November day which pleased him extraordinarily. A few minutes without worried looks and the feeling of being observed with everything he did was exactly what he needed right now.   
Though the impression someone watching him stayed. Deep in thoughts he turned left and found himself in a back alley. Trying not to think about what happened the last time he was in a place like this he wanted to make his way back, but as he turned around he was suddenly greeted with a cold knife pressing on his throat. He couldn't think clearly when he saw the face of his old friend appearing in front of him grinning.  
“Where do you go to, my lovely?”, he grinned meanly as he ripped open his shirt with the knife.


	8. John wants to rescue Paul, but...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I'm sorry for the cliffinger in the last chapter (no, not really;) ), but at least I'm upsating as soon as I promised. This chapter is a bit shorter than the others cause I didn't want to be so cruel and let you wait too long. I hope you enjoy it nevertheless and keep writing such nice comments.

“John, where's Paul?”, Brian asked.  
“Out, like he said.”, John answered a little annoyed. He didn't like Paul to work in his state of health, after all he was the only one who knew what the lad really went through.  
“Without one of the security guards?” After some incidents where a crowd of screaming people tried to break into the studio, Brian had started to make sure they always had some guards around them while they were recording or went out together and sometimes on public events when the police underestimated the bird's craziness and obsessions again.   
“Didn't you listen to Ringo? He's a grown up who can make his own decisions.”, he said statistically but regretted it almost immediately and sighed “We choose this place because of his seclusion, didn't we? Plus, I guess he's just standing right in front off the building freezing his ass off. No need to worry.”, he didn't even believed it himself, but he had to say anything.  
“You might be right because he left his jacket behind.”  
Okay, now he was concerned.  
“I'll look after him in a few minutes.”, John promised. Brian nodded gratefully and left to the adjoining room whereto everybody except the four Beatles already had vanished.   
John would give Paul a little time for himself. He knew it was hard for him and that he was scared of loose control over himself and his freedom of making his own decisions.   
When he heard the heavy door open his head snapped up. But it wasn't Paul.   
“How come you're that famous and write all this songs, but every time I walk in on you lads, you're doing nothing?”, Mal asked in his usual good mood.   
“Maybe it's because you constantly keep disturbing the magical mystery process of our song writing duo.”   
“Speaking about them. How's Paul? Heard he had car crash?”, Neil asked.  
“Oh, he's very well. It's not like he collapsed a few minutes ago and our greedy producers are still forcing him to work!”, George said.  
“George-”  
“I know, I know, he can make his own decisions. You made your point very clear, Rings!”  
“So, everything's like always.”, Mal deadpanned.  
“Where's Brian?”, Neil wanted to know.  
George pointed at the door to the next room. They were almost vanished when Neil turned around in the door frame. “Oh, almost forgot to tell you. You'll never guess who we just met a few minutes ago.”  
“Well, tell us!”, Ringo demanded.  
“Our old friend Pete Best.”  
Click. John's eyes widened in shock. Everything made sense.

“I can't tell you, because you wouldn't believe me!”  
“I know him, right?”  
“No, you knew him once. The man he is now has nothing to do with the guy from the past. I won't say his name, John. Please, just let it go.”

Where was Paul? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Why did he let him go outside alone? Why had he allowed him to work in the first place?!  
John got up as quickly as possible and made a move to run out the studio. Mal and Neil were already gone and didn't notice him, but George and Ringo did and put themselves in his way.  
“Where do you think you're going, John? Paul will be back again in a few minutes. Give the lad a little time to-”  
John knew Paul would probably kill him (or worse, hate him) for this, but there was no other way. He'd loose precious time arguing with them and Paul was out there with this monster alone. John didn't want to imagine what this god damned bastard was going to do to his best friend. Again.   
“He'll rape him!”, he almost screamed.  
“What?! John, what the hell are you-”  
“Pete. He'll rape him. He did it before. This was the reason Paul was so distant and behaved weirdly. I found out after the accident. But we have no time, I promise I'll explain everything later but now we have to help Paul!”  
The other two felt captured in a mixture of anger, disbelieve and panic. It was hard to grasp it. But they knew they had to trust John with this and push their feelings aside. For this moment at least.   
They followed John when he stormed out of the studio. He told them to split up. He ran faster than he ever had in his whole live while searching for Macca. His mind was full of guilt, sorrow and fear. In this moment he almost let panic gain the upperhand, he wanted to scream and hit the wall, when he suddenly heard some muffled noises from one of the back alleys.  
He didn't think further when he started to run.   
“Paul!”, he screamed, “Paul!”  
And as he turned around the last corner, he saw it. His best friend was pressed against the cold dirty wall by a dark shape. Their pants were pulled down and... oh god, he was too late!  
The man was thrusting in and out of Paul and he could hear him cry in pain.   
When the guy, who he could identify by now as their former drummer Pete Best, heard him he pulled out quickly, though it was tardily, because John could see cum all over his friend's stomach, thighs and crotch as he ran away. He was fast and when John arrived at Paul, Pete was already gone.   
He wanted to chase after this randy bugger and bash him down till he wouldn't stand up anymore (ever again!), but Macca was far more important right now.   
The younger one had fallen onto the ground all dirty and exposed. His shirt was tattered and blood was flowing down from his split lip and mingled with another small trail of blood from throat where the knife had cut lightly into the sensitive skin. Tears were all over his pretty face and his whole body was shaking violently.  
“Oh god, Paul!”, John exclaimed. Anger planted itself in John's heart. He would kill this bastard! Twice! Oh, how he wanted to beat the crap out of this pervert, but first he had to think of Paul now, who still layed shivering and crying onto the cold ground. Fuck! What was he supposed to do? Would he freakout if he touched him? Had he even notice he was standing there? Probably not. Well, he barely could this whole situation make even more worse than it already was, so he did the first thing that came to his mind.   
He took off his jacket and covered Paul, cause he knew he'd hate it to be this exposed. Plus, it was really cold.   
Paul, who hadn't looked at him till now, opened his eyes at the gentle gesture.   
“John?”, he breathed weakly. His mind felt kind of dulled and though he was aware of the fact he was still pretty much in shock, he couldn't stop weeping.  
“Yeah, Paulie, I'm here now. I'm so sorry, I should have known better than to let you go out alone, I should've been there to protect you. Please, just... stay with me!”, John carefully raised his mate's head and pulled him half on his lap. Paul groaned in pain.   
“It hurts, John!”, Paul cried. He didn't feel the need to appear strong, nor felt he ashamed right now. He knew, he would do later, but at the moment he was only unbelievable hurt and weak. Anger burned in John's stomach, but he forced himself to stay as calm as possible.  
“I know, Macca, I know. I promise, I'll take care of that, but first let me get you out of here.”  
He pulled up Paul's underwear carefully and cleaned the cum as much as possible with the torn shirt, before he wrapped his long jacket firmly around him and lifted him up bridal style.   
Paul tensed because of the movement and the following pain. John hold him tightly and whispered soothing words in his ear, Paul's head leaning between his friend's chest and shoulder, while silent tears kept streaming down his cheeks.   
He heard steps approaching them but he didn't care. He was with John. No one would do him any harm as long as John was with him.  
“John? Did you find him?”  
“What happened?”  
“Did he-”  
Paul turned his face and looked at the other two Beatles with expressionless eyes, which made the them go silent immediately.   
“Come on, guys, we have to get Paul out of here. I'll explain everything later!”  
“What are we going to do about Brian?”, Ringo asked while they hurried to John's car.  
“Get Paul in, I'll be back in two minutes.”, George stated and ran off.  
When he came back he was breathing heavily.  
“I said Paul got hurt and we are taking him home now. Before he could ask something I ran away again.”, he explained while entering John's car.  
In the meantime Ringo had took his seat behind the wheel and they had laid Paul with his head on John's lap on the back seat bench. He still hadn't said a word.   
“How is he?”, George asked, turning around in the co-driver seat, as Ringo started driving.  
John looked at Paul. He tried to read in his friend's face, what he thought or felt right now. He searched for emotions, but there were none.  
“If I knew!”, John said more to himself and Ringo drove faster.   
When they drove over a pothole Paul felt a wave of pain over coming him. Suddenly the barrier of misty dull and indifference vanished and fear, worry, shame and pain spread inside him. Abruptly, he was very aware of the situation he was in and what John must've seen. He wanted to lift his head and sit on his own but in this moment the car stopped and they got out.   
He felt John's strong protective arms around him which carried him outside. Every step hurt though John was extra carefully and everything he wanted to do was to lay down and go to sleep and pretend none of this had ever happened.  
“Paulie? You all right?”  
He didn't answer, instead he stared at the remains of cum at his trousers. With every moment panic threatened to take over.   
John felt Paul's erratic breathing and followed his gaze, causing his heart to stop beating. He should have cleaned better.   
“Lads, I'll help Paul clean. Just make sure, nobody's going to disturb us, all right?”  
George looked like he wanted to say something, but Ringo nodded in agreement before he could do so.   
“What shall we say in the case Brian is calling or coming over to ask what's wrong with him?”  
“Tell him off, tell him he broke down outside, on my behalf tell him I didn't let him go back. Paul has to decide if he wants him to know the truth and he isn't in a condition to think about this right now.”


	9. John takes care of Paul and they get closer...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Right in time for George Harrison's 74th Birthday here comes my newest chapter. It's a bit longer than usual, but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless.

John brought him into the bathroom and sat him down onto the toilet seat to let hot water ran in into the bathtub.   
Paul hissed in pain. His behind was hurting so much he had to force himself not to jump up again. He deserved the ache after all. Even John had to see this now! Why had he been so stupid to walk out on his own?  
“Did I hurt you, Paul?”, John asked instantly concerned as he saw his friend's pained expression.  
He shook his head.  
“Please, Paul, you have to speak with me. I know it's hard. I know you're scared and I really am sorry for that, but you have to tell me what's wrong, so I can take care of that.”  
“I'm fine, John.”, he managed, eyes kept firmly on the ground.  
“No, you aren't. Please, tell me!” John put a finger under his chin and forced him gently to look at him.  
“It hurts!”, he exclaimed, hiding his head in his hands in order to keep his tears in check.  
“Oh, Paul!” John pulled him into a comforting embrace. He didn't know what to do else, except maybe...   
After Paul relaxed a bit he started to remove his jacket carefully. When he came to his trousers, Paul tensed.   
“What are you doing?”, he asked nervously.  
“You are full of blood and... other things, I want to clean you up. That's the reason we have to get you naked. Plus, I have to see the damage he'd done.”   
Paul got pale and red at the same second. He didn't want John to look at this!   
“No!”, he exclaimed, “No, I can't let you see it!”  
Paul struggled free and backed away.   
“Shhhh! Paulie, it's all right! I know you don't want this but it has to be! I'll drive you to a hospital if you'd prefer that? Or shall I get one of the lads to do it?”  
Paul shook his head emphatically. He knew he had been really lucky last time the public hadn't found out Paul McCartney had a car accident, let alone the other thing. Plus, he really didn't want to drive again and a stranger staring and touching his exposed ass didn't sound great exactly. At the other possibility he didn't even dare think of.  
“Please, don't do this to me!”, he begged, tears streaming down his pretty face and oh, how John wanted to give in! How much he wanted to cradle this weeping bunch in his arms and make him forget what life had done to him! How he wanted to assure him he wouldn't humiliate him further and make him feel even more ashamed and exposed than he already did.   
But he had to. There was no other way.   
“I'm so sorry, Paulie! I wish I wouldn't have to make you do this, believe me! But we both know, we have no other choice. I have to make sure he didn't caused permanent damage to you.”, John was speaking slowly and gently and with more patience than he ever had used in his life.  
“I-I'm sure he didn't!”  
“C'mon, you can barely sit and don't think haven't seen your face while we drove. That's far from all right! You are far from all right. I have at least to look at it.”   
Paul still looked insecure. He really really didn't want this, but maybe his friend was right. Maybe.   
“You would force me?”, he asked. John’s heart broke in two at the question.  
“No, dear! Never! It’s necessary, we both know that, but I won't do this against your will. I need your permission for this, Paulie, otherwise I won't touch you, I promise.”  
“Okay.”, Paul mumbled, looking down at the carpet.  
“Paul, I promise I'll be gentle. I would never hurt you. Just trust me, I'll wait till you're ready.”  
Big scared doe-eyes were looking at him, as if he was begging for his life.   
“Are you?”  
Paul nodded slowly, directing his eyes onto the ground.   
“Then turn around for me, luv.”, he demanded softly. He knew this had to be very hard for his modest friend.  
Paul obeyed. John removed his trousers and underpants carefully before he could look at him properly. He soaked in his breath. His butt was red all over and he could see remains of blood and cum around the cleft. Bruises were already visible at his hips where the man- Pete Best had held him.   
“Is it that bad?”, Paul asked. His cheeks were burning in crimson while he was standing there, all exposed and revealed in front of his best friend.   
“Well, I guess this has to hurt. I'll look at it again after the bath, you know, it's a little difficult to see much right now.”   
Paul didn't ask further, but as he saw the blood on his underwear he knew what John had meant.   
He flushed even more when he stared at the piece of garment in embarrassment and tears started to well up in his eyes again.   
“It's all right! We'll get rid off of them. Nobody has to see it, Paulie, I'll make sure of that.”, John promised and laid his hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner.  
Paul nodded shivering.  
“You're getting cold. Let's get you into the hot water, dear. Wait, I'll help you.”, John supported shaking Paul and assisted him while sliding into the warm fluid.   
Paul hissed. The heated water was burning at his sore flesh, but after a while it hurt only when he moved. So he tried to be as calm as possible and let his mind wander.  
John in the meantime pondered about how many times he'd imagined a completely naked Paul McCartney lying in his very own bathtub and what he'd do now, if they were in other circumstances.   
He clenched his hands into fists angrily, when he noticed the water turning slightly red because of the blood.  
John looked at his injured friend who seemed a bit lost, just sitting there and staring into nowhere.   
“Paulie?”, he asked. “Paul?”   
But he didn't get an answer.  
“Paul?!”, he shook him on his shoulder slightly.   
“Yes?”, Paul got torn out of his thoughts.  
John exhaled relieved. “What do you think right now?”  
Paul shrugged, his gaze unfocusing again. He looked as if he was drifting away. Whereto, John didn't know, but it was frightening him to no end.   
“I'm going to clean you. Is that all right?”, he asked in the hope of some reaction, but nothing came.  
So he started to run a fresh cloth over his mate's arms and shoulders.  
“Please, you have to talk to me. Don't lock me out! Tell me what happened! Tell me what you felt or what you were thinking! For heaven's sake, tell me anything just for me to know you're still here with me!”, he begged.  
“You saw it, John! I don't have to tell you. You saw what he did to me! You saw him fucking me against these wall! You saw him banging in and out of me! You saw-”, he was hyperventilating by now. John tried to sooth him without much success.  
“If this reassures you, I haven't seen anything. I mean, he was standing in front of you from my Point of view, so I couldn't exactly see you!”, he declared in order to save a little piece of Paul's dignity for him.   
“Liar!”, he knew John wasn't saying the truth, “We both know you could see the whole scene pretty well, even if you didn't want to see it!”  
What should John say? Yeah, I could see it, but don't worry, I was way too shocked to stare at your exposed manhood while he rammed his ugly dick into your ass?  
“See, I don't want to accuse you of something, I'm just saying there is no need to tell you what happened.”  
John nodded slowly. Paul had a point there, though he knew there was much more he hadn't seen.  
“I know it was Pete Best.”, he stated suddenly. He wanted Paul to know that there was no reason to hide his rapist identity and maybe he would get the answers he longed for since the night of the accident. Like why had he done that? Of course, the Beatles hadn't been very nice when they replaced him by Ringo, but that wasn't exactly a reason to bloody rape one of them. And if he really thought they'd deserved it, then why Paul? John was the official leader who had had the last words in this matter. So why not him?  
Or Ringo? After all he was the one they'd preferred and who got famous now instead of him.   
And what about George? He was the one who came up with the idea of the change. He had introduced Ringo to the others in Hamburg and it was common knowledge that he'd never liked Pete.   
Brian because he was the one who fired him.  
Neil for betraying him as a friend and knocking up his mum.  
But Paul?   
Why do this to innocent Paul who only listened to what George Martin and the other band members had said?   
“Have you seen his face?”, Paul asked, his voice wasn't revealing any emotions.  
“No. It was when you were away that Neil and Mal walked in and told us they had just seen Pete Best. Suddenly everything you said about that guy before made sense. Realizing, that you were out alone I wanted to run out to reach you before anything could happen, but George and Ringo wouldn't let me, so I had to explain them first. I'm sorry about this, though. I know you didn't wanted them to know, but I was scared he could do anything to you and I didn't know where to look for you. I needed their help!“  
“I know. It's all right.”, Paul had closed his eyes to get himself to relax and loose some of the tension.  
“I'm going to wash your legs now. Don't frighten.”, the older one announced.   
But when John let the cloth run up his friend's knees, over his inner thighs, then slightly messaging his belly and back over his hips, resting on his thighs again, he looked up and saw his friend was crying in silent.   
“Paul? What's wrong? Why are you crying? Did I hurt you?”   
Paul shook his head.  
“I just can't stop thinking!”, he cried, “I can't.”   
It was true, since he was able to fully grasp what happened, he couldn't stop pondering about what John and the others were thinking. What did Brian know? Had someone seen them? Was he going to find this in every newspaper tomorrow? Would Pete do this again?   
“Thinking about what, Paulie? You know, George and Ringo aren't judging you or something. They want to help you just like me!”, he tried to guess what was on his friend's mind.  
“How do you know? Did they say it? Have you talked with them?”, Paul asked a little hopeful, though he new the truth very well.  
“Would you feel better if I'd go outside and speak with them?”, he offered. He didn't want to leave Paul but if he could help him somehow, he would.  
“Would you?”  
“Of course I will, silly.”, he got up. “I'll be back in a few minutes, call me if you need help. And don't try to get downstairs without my help!”

When he went down the stairs, he was immediately greeted with two very concerned friends.   
“How is he? Did he tell you what happened?”, George asked.  
“Well, he's not exactly fine. And he didn't need to tell me, because I saw a good part of what this pervert did to him.”  
“You mean he really raped him?”, Ringo asked.  
“And you saw it?” George was as shocked as Ringo.  
“I... interrupted him. He was thrusting in and out Paul against a wall. I saw something in his hand, I guess it was the knife Paul told me about last time. When I screamed he ran away, but I was too late. So yeah, he really raped Paul.”   
A minute of silence followed.   
“I'M GOING TO KILL THIS BASTARD!!!”, George exclaimed all of a sudden.  
“Hush, you stupid git! The only reason I'm here and not in there with Paul is that he's scared of what you're thinking. You know, if you guys are judging him, or think of him as a queer because of that. I told him you wouldn't, but he couldn't quiet believe me, so just tell me you don't make him responsible for what happened and I can go back and assure his poor nerves.”  
“I think I, or better we, should go in there ourselves and talk some sense into him. How can he even think we would judge him?! What has this bloody rapist done to him that he'd think that?!”  
It always surprised John how little quiet Georgie could turn into furious protective George in a matter of seconds, especially when it was about Paul. When John first met George Paul always had an eye on him, watching out and protecting him. If somebody was too harsh with the younger lad Paul would tell him off. Now where they were grown ups they'd often swap roles.   
“Oh yeah, because you cursing and screaming about killing this guy would be very soothing to him!”   
The thing he kept to himself was that he somehow didn't like the thought of someone despite himself being in the same room as naked Paul. Not even George or Ringo. It wasn't that bad before, but now after everything that happened his impulsion to protect Macca had increased dramatically. And why not? His friend had gotten raped. Two times. This god damn rapist was still out there and his friend was completely done, psychologically and physically. So why the heck shouldn't he worry and get a bit overprotective?   
“He's right, George. We'll talk to him later, when he's feeling better. By the way, should we call a doctor? You know, he looked as if he were in pain on the ride. Is it really that bad?“  
“I'm not sure. This guy- Pete- he was really brutal. Though, it stopped bleeding, I would be more confident if some physician could look at him. After all he's still suffering from the accident. But there's no way Paul would let anyone near him.” John answered honestly. It felt good to speak openly with people who were sharing his concern.  
“He bled? You mean he-”, George looked around as to make sure nobody else (Paul in this case) was listening “he fucked him so hard, Paul was actually bleeding?”, he was near out bursting.  
“George, he's going to pay for this. We'll find a way, but right now it's about helping Paul. It won't be helpful if you start yelling now. He'll only think you're mad at him and feel guilty.”, John tried to reason though he was thinking exactly the same. “I should go back in there. Who knows what stupidity he's going to do if I let him alone for too long. Oh, and I never told you anything. You know, about the pain or the blood. He'll kill me!”  
“All right. Tell him it's not his fault and that we'll be there for him.”, Ringo requested.  
John nodded as an answer.

Paul was standing on the cold tiles a towel tied around his hips, when John entered.  
“Heaven, Paul! What are you doing?”  
“What does it look like?”  
“As if you were trying to kill yourself!”, John dead panned.  
“What did they say?”, he asked, ignoring the older ones comment.  
“They are totally agreeing with me! All they want to do is to help you. None of them is judging you or something.”  
“Really? Cause I heard George screaming. Sounded pretty mad.”  
“Yeah, he was. But not at you, just at Pete!”  
“Oh.”, Paul nodded.  
“I swear, if me and George would meet this pervert on the street we'd beat him to death and Ringo would give us an alibi.”, he half joked.  
“Well, I wouldn't and you'd be all going to jail.”, Paul grinned.  
“I would do it anyway. As long as you're safe, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life behind bars.”, he answered honestly.  
Paul blushed a little. “Why?”  
John shrugged.   
Paul tried to make his way to another towel to dry his hair, but his legs were too unsteady. Luckily John was quick and caught him when he stumbled.  
“Easy, mate.”, he said his face only a few inches away from Paul's. “You all right?”  
“Er, yes.”  
His cheeks were red and tracks of tears were still visible. The dark hair was wet and his smooth bare chest was pressed against John's. He looked so beautiful.   
And with all the stress of the last few days, the memories of him and Paul sharing a bed and cuddling, or the younger one naked in front of him in the bathtub crashing down on him, it got too much to bare.  
So, before Paul could actually do something to protest, John had pressed his lips against his and started to kiss him gently but passionate.   
He didn't let go of him, instead he pulled him even closer, holding him up on his hips and continued to let his tongue discover his friend's mouth. Paul tasted sweet and fresh and John wanted to drown his friends mouth. The warm plump lips felt so soft against his own and they were matching as if they were meant for each other.   
John perceived Paul shivering because of the intensity of their kiss and he pressed his slowly awakening midsection against the younger man.   
Finally. This was everything he could think of right now. Finally, he was kissing him. How long had he longed for this kiss. But did Paul feel the same? He wasn't kissing back, yet. But he wasn't pulling away either. He'd stop him, if he wouldn't want this, right? He just needed a few seconds to adjust to the idea of John kissing him all of a sudden. After all he would never hurt him.   
Eventually he felt a hesitantly, almost shy reaction when Paul opened his mouth a little further and a wave of relieve washed over him.   
“What the bloody fucking hell?!”  
They turned around in shock. George was standing in the door frame with an angry expression on his face, while Ringo behind him just looked utterly bewildered.   
Fuck.


	10. Paul and Ringo talk while John and George start fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking this long!   
> Hope you'll enjoy it anyway.

“What do you think you're doing, John?!” George was really mad and before John could understand what was happening around him, he'd loosened his grip around Paul and tore him away from John.  
After a moment of confusion John gasped what this must've looked like with him holding semi-naked Paul against him, who still had tracks of tears showing and his hands against John's chest as if to push him back. Fuck! Why did they had to choose this exact moment to come in?!  
But George didn't give him time to explain the whole situation.  
“Paul, you all right? He didn't hurt you, did he? Ringo, get him out of here!”  
Hurt him? Now he was going to far. John felt anger built up in him. Especially when Ringo pulled him out of the bathroom while he was still looking at John with a quizzically confusedly expression, screaming internally for help.  
“Leave him alone! Don't you see he don't wanna go?”  
“John, it's better for him not to be in the same room with you for a while.”, Ringo said leading Paul out.

Paul was completely bemused by now. What the heck had just happened?! Did John Lennon actually kiss him? Did they really got interrupted from their best friends? Why had George only been so angry at John but not at him? Why had John kissed him at all? Maybe he'd wanted to know if Paul was a queer after having sex with a man twice. Or could it be that he actually returned his feelings? No, it had to be the first. But he could've sworn he'd felt something when John had pressed against him... god, he needed time to think.   
“C'mon, let's have a seat.”, Ringo ordered shoving him gently to the couch.   
Paul sat down though it hurt badly. He was shifting uncomfortably in order to find a position which was less painful. Normally he would have stood up again or get himself a pillow or something, but he didn't want Ringo to know how bad it was.   
“That bad?”  
Apparently it was in vain anyway.  
“Would you believe me, if I said no?”  
“No. You should lay down. It wouldn't hurt so much then, I suppose. Maybe I could be more helpful if you'd let me have a look.”  
“I pulled my pants down often enough for one day, don't you think?.”, Paul said trying to hide himself blushing. He began to shiver slightly. It was cold in the living room and he was still wet and the only thing he was wearing was a bloody towel.  
“I heard what happened and believe me, I'm so sorry. Would you like to tell me what this guy did to you?”  
Maybe it would help to recount the events of today with someone to get them in order and though he'd prefer this person to be John it didn't seem like a good idea after what happened only a few minutes ago.  
But Ringo? It wasn't like he didn't trust him and he would be better as George in any case (only a few people knew he could have a really temperamental site sometimes). Ringo was controlled and respected his decisions. He'd be the logical choice. But he wasn't John.   
Of course he could talk with him, but it wouldn't help as much as speaking with his best friend who was the only one in front of whom he was able to allow himself a little weakness.  
“I don't know if this would be such a good idea.”  
“Why?”  
“Because the only thing that's going to happen is me starting to weep like a little girl.”  
“Well, we have other subjects we could talk about first: the weather, the newest Elvis LP or John Lennon holing onto you for dear life and snogging you. Choose!”, Ringo joked, sensing Paul wasn't ready to speak about this yet.   
“I, er, really liked 'Viva Las Vegas', you know.”, Paul said blushing about Ringo's last comment about John snogging him.   
“John ravishing your mouth. Good choice.”, Ringo grinned and Paul hid his face in his hands.  
“He didn't force you, did he?”, was the suddenly serious question.  
“What? No of course not? Why would you believe this? Wait, is that the reason George is screaming his lungs out at John?”  
“Well, yes. Look, first there was you with tears all over your face and John pressing your half naked body against him while you looked like you were trying to push him away. Plus, he told us not to enter and after today... I don't really believe he forced you, but well, it wasn't exactly correct of him. You already reached your limits today. I'm not saying you're not able to decide for yourself or you're too weak or something, but he knew how you were and, you could say, he took advantage of you trusting him.”  
“It wasn’t like that at all! I mean, he- we didn’t plan it or something!”  
“I didn’t said anything about him planning to manipulate you into- whatever he was about to do. I’m just saying-”  
“No, you got it all wrong!”, Paul tried to even his breath again and explain his older friend what this had really been about, though he wasn’t so sure himself. “You know how it is when you kiss a bird. You have to wait until you’re sure she won’t push you away and then you have to be all gentle and careful in the beginning till she’s not so insecure anymore and you can go a step further.”  
Ringo nodded, indicating Paul he knew what he was talking about and to continue.  
“Well, it wasn’t like this with John at all. I stumbled, he caught me and then our eyes just met and he looked at me like he couldn't advert his eyes and then it was just like- like two magnets. None of us could turn away. It was like we really hadn’t another chance.”, Paul’s cheeks were bright red by now.  
“Was it good?”, Ringo wanted to know, though he already could imagine the answer.  
“Ringo!”, Paul turned even redder. “Why do you need to know this?”  
“Well, first, it's interesting. Secondly, you're my friend as well as John and I want to understand what's going on between you two.”, Ringo answered.  
Paul sighed defeated. “It was the best kiss I ever had.”  
Ringo raised an eyebrow. John once told him Paul had lost his virginity with fifteen and after they got to know each other better, he wasn’t doubting this at all any more. So ‘the best kiss in his life’ had to mean something.   
“Did you kiss back?”  
“I'm not a queer! Neither is John.”  
“That wasn't my question.”  
“No.”  
“But?”, Damn! Sometimes Ringo could read him almost as good as John.  
“I don't know, Richie!”, he buried his face in his hands.   
“It's okay, Paul, you can say it. I won't judge you.”, Ringo tried to sooth him.  
“I think maybe... maybe I would have, if you two didn't interrupt us!”  
“Do you want to kiss him again?”  
Why was he asking all this questions? And even more important, why was he still answering?  
“Hell, Rings! I don't even know why he did this!”, Paul was exhausted and cold and his butt hurt like hell, but he wasn't going to stop this.   
“What do you mean, you don't know why he did this?”, the older one looked at him quizzically.  
“Well, first I was sure he wanted to check if I had turned into a queer because of this whole... thing you know, but then again...”  
“But then again...?”, he repeated for him to continue.   
“But then again he wouldn't get hard from a test-kiss, would he?”, Paul reddened visibly.   
Ringo wanted to answer, but they got interrupted by loud voices coming out the bathroom.

In the meantime John and George had their own... conversation.   
“I can't believe, you've done this to him! After everything he went through today, did you really had to humiliate him further?!”  
“First, this was a kiss, Georgie, no humiliation. You'll learn the difference when you're older and he didn't pull away! If you'd stayed out like I told you to-”  
“Of course he didn't pull away. The poor lad was totally beside himself! And I don't even want to imagine what you would've done if we hadn't walked in on you. Would you have told him to turn around and pull down his pants? Paul cried as you were practically humping him, by the way. Did you think he'd like it to get kissed by a man after he just got raped?!”  
John was really angry by now. Who did this little fucker think he were?! How could he dare to accuse John of raping his best friend?!  
“I would never ever hurt him and he knows that! He was about to kiss back when you walked in and though maybe it wasn't the best idea I ever had to kiss him in this situation, I don't see how that is any of your business!”  
“You told us, Paul was scared of being called a queer or a fairy because of this. We tried to help you to convince him that this is rubbish and as soon as we turn our backs on you, you do something to prove the exact opposite!”  
John knew George had a point there. Maybe he had been wrong kissing Paul in this situation when he was still so hurt and insecure, but it wasn't as if he planned it! It had just been the way he'd looked. So helpless, as if he was needing someone to hold him and kiss his fears and sorrows away. And John had wanted to be this someone.   
John also knew George didn't really believe he had forced Paul into something. He knew him much too well. It was just the way he could react to something he didn't understand and which was overwhelming him in the moment, paired with his rage of Pete Best who brutally raped his friend right under his nose without him twigging it and his sorrow, about Paul.   
It surprised him George hadn't punched him. Well, at least not yet.  
Because, look, the thing with John was, when someone was furious and screamed at him he wouldn't try to calm this person (unlike Paul), no, when he felt attacked he would do everything to make this someone even more angry till he'd loose control completely.   
John knew what he was going to do. He knew it was wrong and would make everything more difficult, but he just couldn't help it.   
“Maybe you're just jealous because he let me kiss him and not you! Maybe you just want little Paulie all for you alone!”, John shot back and watched his friend's face turning red in anger.   
“Well, I'm not the one kissing my best friend like we were a couple of queers!”  
George made it easy for him.   
“Well, maybe you would like to get your hands on Paul! And now you're just jealous someone did it before you had the chance to! Or do you want to fuck Ringo and just try to compensate the fear of rejection?!” John screamed.  
“I would never! You are disgusting! What you did was disgusting!”  
They were almost ready to break out into a fistfight, when the door opened and a red-faced Ringo was standing in the door frame.   
“Tell me, are you two completely out of mind now?! You know, he hears every word you say. How do you think talking about John raping him, being a disgusting couple of queers and getting ones hands on him would help this poor lad?! Do you want to know what he told me? He said he felt like an item, a piece of meat, but he wouldn't deserve better after everything he let this guy do to him!”   
None of them had ever seen Ringo this furious and slowly they realized how stupid they'd behaved.   
“I didn't mean it this way, I-”, George tried to explain but Ringo cut him off.  
“I know this, George, but he doesn't. He thinks you hate him now and make of him as a bloody queer who doesn't deserve better than to get raped! And John, he doesn't even know why you kissed him in the first place. But now that he heard how you are talking about this, he has a very clear idea of your reasons. So, thanks to you, he's even more insecure now and I can't tell him you don't mean it that way, because it's exactly what you were saying!”  
“Fuck!”, John felt a lump in his throat. He hadn't thought about Paul. Otherwise he'd never said something like this, he'd just been so angry and George had just gotten him right. He had to apologize to Paul and somehow make it up to him! And they had to talk about the kiss properly.   
“Where is he now?”, John asked.  
“After he threw up into the sink, I helped him back to the couch.”, Ringo answered coldly. John felt even more guilty when he heard Paul had to vomit again.   
“Before one of you goes downstairs, I want you to know that he's in a terrible condition and if you two start fighting again in front of him, I'll take him home with me, because at least he'd get some rest there.”  
They nodded. None of them would start arguing again.   
Shortly before the three of them reached the living room, Ringo held John back.   
“You two go separated. George'll begin.”   
“What? Why? We won't fight again, I promise.”, John contradicted.   
“I know, but I guess you two at the same time is a little much for him right now. Plus, you wouldn't want to have George in there when you're talking with Paul about the kiss.”  
Ringo was right. Having George staring at him while he was trying to confess his unyielding love to Paul wouldn't be the easiest.   
When George entered the living room, Ringo turned to John.  
“Paul told me.”  
“Told you what?”, John asked confused. The kiss wasn't exactly a secret, so what could Paul possibly told him?  
“I spoke with him about you snogging him. He was pretty confused why you did it. First he thought you only wanted to know if he was a queer, but what made him doubting his theory was you getting a hard-on while kissing him.”  
If he weren't John Lennon, he would've blushed. So Paul had noticed it?   
“I didn't mean to, Rings. I didn't even mean to kiss him, it just... kind of happened. Not that I regret it, but I didn't want to overtax him and I certainly wasn't going to rape him, no matter what George might think!”  
“I put this together, already. I know you would never hurt him on purpose and George knows this too. He's just mad, you know him. He'll calm down. But you should really talk with Paul.”, Ringo explained.  
“I will.”


	11. John and Paul talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it took me so long. Well,this chapter is much longer than the othersand I finally wrote the love confession thingy. Have fun with it. Oh, and thanks for the comments.

George entered as quietly as he could. Paul was lying on the couch, eyes half closed. He looked tired and worn out with his pale skin and the big bags under his huge doe-eyes, still wearing nothing but the towel. George felt bad automatically, him and John arguing had deterred him from getting clothes from the older one's bedroom which laid directly beside the bath.  
He thought about going back and get him something to wear first but just when he was about to do so, Paul noticed him. His eyes grew wide in shock and he sat up quickly, wincing in pain. He was scared, no question.  
“Shhh! It's all right, Paulie. You can lay down again. Ringo's standing right behind the door with John. I know I scared the hell out of you.”  
Paul looked a little bit more confident, but he didn't settle down again.  
“Can I sit down?”, George asked in order to give Paul the feeling he was completely in control.   
A nod followed and he sat down next to him.   
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean it when I said this things. John would never rape you and I don't think you two are a couple of nauseating queers. I know you aren't queer and even if you were I would never think you'd deserved what happened. I just... I was mad. Not at you, but at Pete because of what he did to you and at John for not telling us sooner and at myself because I didn’t know and couldn't protect you from getting... violated. So, when I walked in on you two I just kind of mixed all this together and this is what happened. I took it out on you and John, not even bothering to hear your sites of the story in the hope I could protect you this time. And you know how John can be when he feels like someone's attacking him. No one thinks you are a queer and I'm so sorry we made you think like this.”  
Paul had listened to George's sincere apologize and found it hard to held back tears. This was all so confusing!  
“But you were right. First I let this guy fuck me, then I let John kiss me! Seems like I'm a prime example for a queer!”, he said with his voice trembling. His eyes were burning and he looked away so George wouldn't see his tears starting to well up.  
“Paul, it wasn't like he came to you asking 'hey, mate, would you mind going on your hands and knees for me to shag out your brains?' And you just agreed. No, he forced you to do something you didn't want, he took you against your will. That's rape, Paul! Otherwise it wouldn't hurt this much now. And kissing a man doesn't make you queer. Especially when it's a difficult situation and you trust this person.”, he tried it the direct way.  
A dry sob escaped Paul.  
“And wanting to sleep with a man?”, he knew there was no way back now where it was out.   
“You want to sleep with John?”, he asked a little too surprised for his own liking.   
Paul looked up at him. His bottom lip was trembling and his eyes watery. He knew he shouldn't have said that, but it was too late. George would hate him. He'd walk out any second and tell John, who'd also detest him.  
“Come here!”, George opened his arms to pull him into a hug. “I don't hate you, I'd never. I know, it's my fault you think so, but I swear, I'll make up for the damage I caused. The last thing I'd do is to let you down again! Just tell me, I won't judge or something!”  
“I don't know.”, Paul cried. He felt miserably. “I mean, I kind of wanted to before everything happened and I think I still would like to, but I'm not sure I could even if he'd also wanted. I always have to think about how it was when... he did this to me, what I felt, how much it hurt and still does and I'm not sure I could let anybody do this to me again and I-I just...”, he broke down weeping on George's shoulder.   
“Shhh! Everything's going to be all right! You're not queer, you're in love.”, maybe it wasn't exactly logical but in this moment it made sense. “I'm sure, John is the last one who wouldn't understand what you're feeling and he'll wait till you're ready. And if you should never be, he won't care.”  
George thought it was kind of strange talking with Paul about such things. Of course they'd spoke about birds and sex before (especially when they were teenagers), but it had never been like this. This was so much more personal and Paul, always being the modest one, would normally never speak this frankly.   
But it was okay.  
George didn't mind at all.   
The main thing was Paul would stop feeling guilty and get happy. If this meant for him having a relationship with John Lennon, he'd be all right with that.   
“He won't feel the same way!”, Paul sobbed.  
“I'm sure, he will. After all he's the one who kissed you, didn't he?”  
“B-but...”  
“Shall I get him?”, George asked. He knew the only one who was able to convince his friend that John loved him was John himself.  
“Please.”, he whispered broken.  
“Just one second.”, he promised. Though he was reluctant to leave his friend in such a poor state, he knew there wasn't another way to make him feel better.   
When he closed the door behind him, the other two were already standing in front of him.  
“How is he? What did you two talk about?”  
“He's terrible. He asked for you so I promised to sent you in.”  
John were about to jump up and rush in immediately, but George held him back.   
“I hope for your own sake you meant it when you kissed him and that you really love him! Because, I swear if this was just a cruel joke or you were on one of your whims again, I will kill you and bury you next to Pete Best!”  
“Deal!”, John answered drily and opened the door. 

He scanned the room with his eyes. Where was he?  
“Paul?”  
As an answer he got retching noises from the kitchen.  
'Oh no, not again!', he thought, stepping into the room.  
Paul hung over the sink, barely able to stand and was busy puking his insides out. The poor boy couldn't have left much to spew out.   
John came just in time to see Paul's knees were slowly giving in and he was clinging desperately onto the washbasin.  
Quickly he over bridged the distance between the two of them and slung his arms around his waist to hold him up while carefully rubbing his tummy.   
“John?”, he muttered weakly.  
“Shhh! Yeah, it's me. Don't be scared, I would never hurt you!”, he whispered gently.   
When Paul was done he still felt awful and near to pass out. John had to carry his way too cold body back to the couch after he'd let him rinsed out his mouth. Paul was too weak to even contradict.   
It took him a few minutes to regain the ability of breathing properly. John was at his site all the time, looking down on him worriedly and stroking through his still a little wet hair.   
Paul sat up a little and blushed furiously as he noticed the towel he'd worn had gone lost when John had carried him and he was completely exposed by now. He tried to hide his private parts with his legs, but the movement hurt awfully.   
“It's all right, don't move. I'll get you a blanket. You're too cold anyway.”, John got up, not without a last unintentionally glance at his friends crotch and searched for a cover at the other end of the room. When he found one, he slowly laid his hands on his mates knees and pushed them down in a manner that allowed Paul to stop him if he wanted to easily and draped the blanket over him. He wanted him to know he didn't have to hide something from him and that everything was all right. Paul flushed even more, but didn't say anything.   
“Better?”  
He nodded.   
“I'll take you up soon, so you can get dressed and sleep.”, he announced. “I just want to wait, till you're a little bit warmer.”  
He sat down and pulled Paul's head into his lap.   
“I'm sorry about the kiss.”, he said, making Paul tense up.  
“Not that I regret it. It was amazing, but I shouldn't have done that in this situation. I didn't want to overstrain you.”  
Paul was relieved that John didn't regret it, though he still wasn't completely clear about the reason he'd done it.   
“Why?”, he wanted to ask, but got interrupted from a knock on the door. John looked at him and he nodded slowly.   
“Yes?”  
Ringo stuck his head into the room.  
“So sorry to disturb you, lads, but George told me Paul was cold, so I brought down some clothes from your bedroom, John. Thought you wouldn't mind.”  
“Yeah, thanks, Ringo.”, John answered.  
Paul smiled feebly at him.  
“How are you by the way? Don't look so good.”, he wanted to know.  
“Just a little tired.”, Paul lied though everyone in this room knew it wasn't true.  
Ringo raised an eyebrow looking at John, who only shook his head.  
“Well, Brian will be here in an hour. He has a lot of questions, apparently, but you don't have to care about them. We'll make up something if you don't want to see him right now. I just wanted you to know and... Paul,” something in the way he said his name made his head snap up, “the police arrested Pete Best.”  
His eyes grew wide in surprise and shock. Did someone find out? How?   
John's grip around him tightened protectively.   
“Why? Do they know what he did to Paul?”, he seemed to find the words Paul couldn't.  
“No, I don't think so. One of his 'old friends' who's working as a police captain apparently found out told Brian about Pete gotten arrested. After his mother had died about two weeks ago, he freaked out and started a fight in a pup where he broke the nose of some rich kid. Since then he's wanted. They have no indication to think he did something else, I'm sure he doesn't know anything.”, Ringo reassured them.  
Paul still didn't know what to say, so he just nodded.  
“Right, I'm going to leave you alone again then. Here are the clothes.” he said laying the pile onto the desk next to the couch.  
With a last comforting smile to Paul he vanished again.  
“You all right?”, John asked after the door closed again.  
“He told me.”  
“What did he tell you?”, John asked.  
“He said it was my fault that his mum died in the believe his son was a failure.”, he breathed.  
“You know that's not true!”, John stroked his hair. “Why you?”, he wanted to know after a minute of silence. “Brian was the one who'd fired him. I had the last word in this decision, George came up with the idea and Ringo replaced him. So why did he take you?”  
Paul shivered uncomfortably.   
“Please, not now.”, he begged. “I'm sorry, it's just- I can't bear talking about this right now, I-”  
“It's all right, Paulie. Come on, let's get you dressed then.”, he got up and grabbed the pile of clothes.   
“Yes, er, I guess, you, er-”, he stammered blushing once again when he realized what John was about to do.  
“May I?”, John asked gesturing at the blanket, holding a pair of boxers in his hands. He wanted to leave no doubt about his feelings for Paul but at the same time he needed his agreement by every step he'd took. He knew now was an unfavorable time to show him this kind of affection, but he had started it already and there was no going back any more. Well, unless he wanted to unsettle him completely.  
“Y-yeah, If you want to, I mean I can do this on my own, but if you-”  
“Perfect.”, John grinned at him.   
Slowly he moved away the cover till the younger one was fully naked. He didn't noticed he was staring until Paul started to shift uncomfortable trying to hide himself shyly.   
“No, please, you don't have to be embarrassed. There's no reason for you to conceal anything. You have nothing to hide from me. Don't be so coy, luv.”, John tried to sooth him.   
Paul didn't know what to do. It was weird to lay there all naked, unprotected and vulnerable. Especially when someone was looking at you like this.   
This was going so fast, but what should he do? Stop it? John and him had seen each other naked several times, so why was this so different now?   
Well, John had never looked at him the way he did now. As if he was discovering something special and beautiful. Expecting. Wanting. Loving.  
When he had kissed him Paul had felt all tingly and excited. It was a bit like this. But now he had to add nervousness and shame and if he was entirely honest he was scared too. Not that he thought John'd do anything against his will, but the want in his eyes reminded him at the feeling how it was to be taken, to get entered by a man and it made him shivering all over.  
“Sorry, I didn't mean to get you cold again. I'll hurry!”, John promised.  
“It's not that. Would you just wait a minute, please?”, Paul had to take few deep breathes.  
John looked up at him worriedly. Had he done something wrong? Was he going too fast? Paul looked very uneasy.  
“Of course, take as much time as you need. You know, I won't do anything you don't want. So if you want me to stop, just say it.”  
He didn't want to stop. If John really meant this kiss, he would have to get used to this kind of situations and more. He couldn't freak out before John had even touched him!  
“No, go ahead! I just needed a second to get used to this.”  
John looked at him dubiously. It was clear to him Paul wasn't fully comfortable, but maybe he'd relax when he realized John wasn't going to do anything he didn't agree with. Unfortunately, the next thing he had to do wasn't exactly helping to prove his point.  
“Well, I know you won't like it, but you have to turn around again. I would have done it before in the bathroom, but after we got interrupted I kind of didn't had the chance.”  
Paul's cheeks burned in crimson.   
“I-Is this really necessary? I mean you already looked at it and it really isn't that bad any more.”, he tried to rescue the remains of his dignity.  
“I'm afraid the answer is yes, dear. When I looked the first time there was blood all over and I couldn't see much and we both know it hasn't got any better.”  
John regretted he'd shown his affection so frankly before. Poor Paul had to believe John only did this to... well enjoy the sight and not because he wanted to make sure his friend was going to be all right.   
Paul felt miserably. He was embarrassed enough for just lying there naked, he didn't want to expose the setting of humiliating again. But he knew John was right. It still burned and stung with every move he made.  
“Please...”, he begged without knowing for what he was pleading while he turned around. Maybe for John to be quick and subtle, or to be gentle and not to abash him more.  
“I will.”, John understood.  
Lying flat on his stomach, John could see the damage that had been done.   
“Oh god!”, he exclaimed before he could stop himself.  
Paul's bum was still red and bruised all over and he looked sore. Like really really sore. John thought by himself that the poor lad wouldn't be able to shit for weeks, but he didn't dare to say it out loud. The skin had been torn apart which had caused some cracks which had to hurt by every step he took and every move he made.   
“It's not that bad, is it?”, he asked shyly.  
“Wait a second. I'll be right back!”, John said running of to a drawer in which he rummaged till he found what he'd searched for.  
“All right, Paulie. We can't leave it that way. You wouldn't be able to stand properly let alone sit. Here's some Vaseline. I know it'll be weird, but I have to apply it.”  
“What?!”, Paul got pale, “No way! I don't want you to- to touch me there, John I-”, he couldn't let anybody finger him right now. Just the thought of it made him queasy and he felt the urge to throw up again.  
“I know, but you would only hurt yourself if you'd tried it, because you can't see your own behind. Look, I wouldn't do that, if it wasn't necessary. I know how modest you are and that it's hard enough for you to just lay naked in front of me like this, but there isn't another way. I mean I can get George or Rings to do this, if you'd prefer one of them to doing it.”  
A single tear ran over Paul's face and he buried his head into the fabric of the couch. There was no way he'd let one of his other friends touch him. He wouldn't be able to look into their eyes again, afterwards. After all John had seen his bum like this already, anyway. So there wasn't actually a point in being this shy in front of him.   
“Do it.”  
“Thanks, Paul. I promise, I'll be as quick as I can and I'll try my best not to hurt you.” John rested his hand for a moment on Paul's shoulder before he spread some of the cream on his hands and started to warm it up by rubbing his palms against each other.   
“You ready?”  
Paul nodded, still hiding his face.  
He tensed anyhow when John touched his bum for the first time. “It's all right. I won't do anything.”, he tried to sooth him but it was in vain.   
John let his fingers run over the cleft and heard his friend whimper in pain. “I'm so sorry I have to do this to you.”, he whispered but got nothing as an answer.  
When he let his hands slide further down and brushed against his hole, Paul let out a squeak and turned around in horror immediately.   
Damn! He should've warned him.  
“Stop! I can't do this! I- I-” Paul couldn't describe what he'd felt when John's finger where at his opening. The feeling of having no control and the impotent fear of what was going to follow, while being hunted by flashbacks was too much. Tears were falling from his cheeks, dropping onto the couch.  
“I'm sorry! It's over now! Please, just stop crying!”, John begged and pulled him into his strong arms. He rubbed circles on his friend's back and whispered calming words in his ear till he stopped weeping.   
“Sorry, I don't know why I'm crying all day today.”, he said. John wiped his tears away gently.  
“Shhh! It's all right! It's not your fault what other people do to you all the time. Pete Best, Brian, George and me, we are to blame, not you.”, John answered.  
“Nothing what happened is your fault.”, Paul looked confused.  
“Well, I shouldn't have let you go out alone. As a matter a fact, I shouldn't even have let you go to the studio. I should've known what was wrong with you weeks ago and fighting with George and saying things like he would like to get his hands on you too, didn't help you much now, did they?”   
“It's all right. You helped me and were there for me all the time. That's more than enough for me.” Paul leaned onto John's shoulder slightly.   
“Let's argue about this later. You are still shivering. We have to get you dressed properly.”  
Paul nodded exhausted.  
John carefully helped Paul into the boxers and a shirt. He decided against the sweatpants because the shorts already seemed to hurt and he didn't want to make it worse.  
John rested a hand shortly above Paul's knee, when he was done and Paul had snuggled a little closer to him.  
“Is this okay?”, he asked. After everything he did he was extra careful.   
Paul hesitated for a second and John almost feared he'd say no, but then he sensed the younger one's hand at his own and smiled.  
“I enjoyed kissing you too.”, he said from nowhereout and John's heart jumped.   
“You did?”, he asked hopefully.   
“Yeah”, his cheeks turned pink, “though I still don't know why you did that.”  
John caressed Paul's soft hand with his thump.”I did it, because I love you.”, He had thought about what he'd say when he'd wait outside with Ringo. He had compile detailed explanations and wrote whole speeches in his mind about his feelings for his mate and everything he actually said from his several pages long speak were 'I love you'. Well, to be fair this were the most important words anyway.  
“I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, well I did, but you have to believe me I'm not a pervert like him, I could never do to you what he did! I'd never ever force you to have sex with me or something like this! I- please, Macca, say something!”, John hoped Paul would understand what he meant and wasn't going to hate him.  
“I love you too.”, Paul whispered, looking down.  
John wanted to scream and sing and dance. He wanted to take Paul and whirl him around in the air. He really was returning his feelings! He loved him!  
John raised Paul's chin gently, looking deep into his friend's eyes. He laid all his love and caring in this gaze and hoped he could make him understand the feelings you couldn't put into words, poems or songs. The kind of emotions which weren't mean to express, just to feel.   
He could see how Paul was opening up to him. There was love and happiness but also insecurity and anxiety to see. However, John would help him through it.  
“Can I kiss you?”, he asked. It was a little weird to question something like this to someone you just confessed your love to. John wasn't used to this and it felt like some kind of awkward teenage romance he'd landed in, but it was all right. If it was more comfortable for Paul this way he was more than fine with it.  
The younger one nodded shyly. John smiled and bent forward. He caressed Paul's cheek with his thump softly and let his hand wander down further to his neck, while his left one were resting right over his hip to pull him closer gently.   
The first touch of their lips was warm and sweet. Paul's lips were softer and plumper than any bird's he ever had felt. When he sensed Paul's arms reaching around his back to draw him closer, he decided it was about time to deepen their innocent kiss. He let his tongue lick over his mate's lips, silently asking for entry. Paul parted his lips slightly to let him in and John felt like he was in heaven. How did he even manage to survive this long without ever tasting Paul's sweet mouth?! He didn't know.   
His dick was agreeing with him. John would've been embarrassed about getting hard due to a still pretty much innocent kiss. Even when he was extraordinary horny it was too early to get an erection at this time. But this was about Paul, so he didn't really care about it. He just had to make sure Paul wouldn't notice. The poor boy shouldn't think he had to do something about his little problem.   
But when Paul accidentally brushed against his crotch when he tried to get closer to him he couldn't help but moan.  
Paul backed away in shock, staring at his friend's midsection. John could actually feel himself blush at his intense stare.   
“I'm sorry, Paulie, I really didn't mean to react this way, it just... happened. You don't have to do anything about it, all right? Please, don't be scared or disgusted.”  
Paul stopped glaring at his crotch and looked up at him.   
“You- you really got hard from just... kissing me?”, he asked. He sounded unsure and shy and a little frightened, but there was also the smallest hint of amusement in his voice.   
“Well, didn't had the chance to wank properly since you're here.”, he dead panned and regretted it instantly afterwards. He didn't want to make him even more insecure than he already was. Paul flushed.  
“Sorry, I didn't want to-”, but he got cut of by John.  
“Don't be. I shouldn't have said that. I just tried to make up a reason why kissing you affect me that much, but the truth is that while having you here the last few days, having you sleeping next to me, holding you and seeing you well, in all states of dressed and undressed, I always wanted to touch you. You know, nothing pervert just... not like a friend.”  
Paul blushed furiously at John's blunt statement, especially at the 'seeing you in all states of undressed' part. He tried not to imagine what John had thought while bathing or undressing him.   
“I guess this was what set me of so early, but like I said, I'm not expecting anything from you, all right?”  
“But, John, I might never be able to, you know, give you more. I mean, I get panic attacks at the mere thought of you- of us doing it and I don't know if I-”  
“I know this, Paul. Believe me, I'm totally okay with just sleeping in the same bed as you till the end of my life. Maybe you'll be able to let me do other things to you, maybe you'll not. Perhaps you will be capable of having proper sex with me after some time, but if you won't it's totally all right for me.”, John could imagine what Paul was thinking right now and tried to take his fear.   
“Do you really want this? I mean never is, well, never! I just don't want you to feel like you'd miss something because of me.”, Paul couldn't quiet believe John Lennon, who could have every girl in the world to fulfill his craziest wishes, would actually (be able to) renounce sex completely for him.  
“Paul, as long as I have you and my fist, I'll be the happiest man on earth!”, John laughed. “Plus, I think you underestimate yourself, sweetheart. I'd like to try something with you.”


	12. A bit of sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so bloody long

Paul had no clue what John was driving at. He looked at him sceptically but indicated him to continue.   
“I don't think he destroyed you or something. I think you'd be surprised what is still possible.”, he explained further.  
“John, what are you trying to say?”  
“I'd like to try to touch you. I mean, through your clothes, you don't have to be naked. I'll touch various body parts and you stop me as soon as you get uncomfortable with it. You know, just for us to see where your limits are, so we don't exceed them by accident and for you to realize that he isn't in control over you any longer.”, John suggested.   
Paul hesitated. This was still so new for him, but maybe it would help him to know his borders and there wasn't any better person to test this with than John. Plus, he couldn't deny that he liked the thought of John touching him. The kiss hadn't left him completely unaffected. Quiet the reverse! He bit his lower lip.  
“You'll stop if I want you to?”  
“Immediately.”, he promised.  
“All right then.”  
John nodded and turned a little in order to have more space. He wanted Paul to enjoy this, so he'd go slow.  
Big curious eyes were looking at him while he slowly started to reach out or his hand. His friend looked a little surprised at him.   
“What? Did you think I'd go straight for your crotch?”  
Paul shrugged and reddened.  
“I wouldn't want to frighten you. I want you to enjoy this, Paulie.”, he explained.  
Then he concentrated on his task again. He caressed Paul's hand with his thump gently till he let his hands ran up further over his arms and shoulders and down again over his back. His face were next. He slightly brushed his lips and cupped his cheeks gently and removed a lost curl from his eyes. Paul seemed to relax slowly, so he let his fingertips run down his chest to his belly and up again. He circled his index finger around his left nipple and squeezed him slightly when he felt him harden. Paul inhaled deeply.  
“Are you still okay with this?”, John asked smirking.  
“Yes.”, Paul suppressed a moan. A wave of arousing rushed through John's body while hearing this, but he didn't let him notice and continued his work with his left nipple. When both were fully hard and visible through the shirt John gave both of them a light kiss, making Paul bite his bottom lip.  
“Like this?”, John asked though he knew the answer.   
“Not at all.”, he joked grinning at him.  
“Well, I shouldn't do this then.”, he smiled back and let his hands ran up his smooth legs to his knee instead.   
“Or this.”, he stopped at the lower part of his thigh and squeezed him slightly.  
“Want me to go further?”, he asked a bit more serious this time.  
“Please.”, he answered.   
A little more careful he rested his hand a bit higher at his thigh. He could sense Paul's nervousness by now but there was also want to continue.  
John touched his friend's hips and caressed his groin.   
When he seemed okay with this, he started to strike his lower belly. John loved the feeling of the smooth skin through the fabric of his shirt and hoped he'd get more skin on skin contact one day. But for now he was remembered of his almost painfully hard cock between his legs while he stared at Paul's slowly growing erection. He looked up and saw his mate's eyes were closed. Probably he didn't even know how hard he actually was, respectively how visible it was through his boxers.   
“Would you be okay with me touching you?”, he asked to make sure Paul was all right with this too.  
“Touching what?”, Paul had to be really far gone and didn't even opened his eyes.  
“Well, your cock.”  
“Oh”, he could see him nodding while he blushed. “Er, yeah, go ahead, just... go slow.”  
“Course, dear.”, John licked his lips.   
Paul couldn't hold back a moan when John touched him for the first time.   
“Sorry”, he apologized, cheeks turning deep red in embarrassment.   
“Don't be, dear. Everything is exactly how it should be.”  
Paul looked down at him and noticed for the first time his cloth covered erection. “Christ!”, he murmured in shock and tried to hide himself mortified.  
“It's all right, Paulie. It's okay to get hard from touching you know this! You don't have to be embarrassed about this. Not in front of me at least. Please, don't hide, luv.”  
After a few moments of hesitation he gave actually up his attempts to hide his hard-on.   
“Really?”, he asked still a bit unsure.   
“Of course. It's a natural reaction, you know this. Look, I'm hard too!”, He showed him the bulge in his trousers and if it would have been possible Paul would've blushed even more. But he nodded slightly and let his arms fall completely again.   
“We can stop this if you're too uncomfortable at the moment.”, John said.  
“No, I...”, Paul thought about it for a moment before he fully decided. “I don't want you to stop right now.”  
John felt how his whole blood rushed down to his own crotch when he felt Paul hardening under his fingers. He started to stroke him slowly. Carefully squeezing the tip and massaging his balls through his underwear, while Paul tried to keep back his moaning.  
“Don't hold back, darling, let me hear you!”, John encouraged him.   
His cheeks were burning but he obeyed nevertheless.   
John got harder and harder with every second. He knew he could come in his pants without someone touching him like a teenager, just from the moaning of this beautiful boy in front of him, but he also knew he wouldn't allow himself so. He wouldn't distract Paul with his own orgasm and admit how much this really turned him on.   
“John, I-”, Paul tried to say something. The desperation in his voice made John's head snap up immediately. He looked aroused but also uneasy and embarrassed. When did this happen?  
“Want me to stop?”, John asked, slowing down his movements.  
“Actually, yeah. Please stop.”   
John removed his hands from his friend's crotch and gave him space to cover himself with the blanket.  
“Are you all right? Do you want to talk about something?”  
“I'm sorry, John, really. It's not that I didn't liked it. I was close, you know, but somehow it was just too much for one day. With everything what happened in the last hours... it just wouldn't have felt right to- well you know what I mean.”, he said, blushing.  
“Come?”, John asked and Paul nodded in shame.   
“It's totally okay, luv. I told you, this was just about knowing our limits. You had no problems with me touching your intimate area and wanking you. This is a good start, don't you think?”, he asked, ignoring the throbbing hardness between his legs.   
“I guess so.” Paul was actually smiling at him. John didn't care if he looked a little tired and worn out, everything that counted was that smile.  
“Come here.”, he laid an arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer. Paul leaned in gratefully and closed his eyes for a moment.  
“Are you still hard?”, John wanted to know after a few seconds. “Because if you are, I can leave the room for a while, or if you don't want to come at all, I guess a cold shower would help you. You just have to tell me which of the options you'd prefer.”  
Paul feared his cheeks would never get their normal colour ever again. It shouldn't be possibly for a single human to blush this often and this much within such a short time. John, however thought it was adorable.  
“I'm not hard any more.”  
“What? How did you do this?”, John asked.   
“Well, I had to think about Pete and er, the thing had finished itself off then.”, he explained.  
“Oh.”  
“But you look as if you'd need some help down there.”, Paul pointed at his clearly visible erection.  
“Don't worry about this, son. I guess, I'll take the cold shower then later.”  
“So you get a hard-on as soon as we are kissing again? I think I've got a better solution.”  
John's eyes widened in shock. “Paul, you really don't have to-”  
Paul's lips on his own cut him off. The kiss was sweet and so innocent John almost forgot what his friend was about to do. Well, at least till a smooth hand gripped his dick through his trousers and started to stroke and squeeze him. John found himself a little dirty when he moaned into Paul's sweet mouth loudly. God, this was so good!  
It got even better when he felt Paul unzipping him and pulling him out. Paul's skilled fingers worked their way up to the base of his cock and down again. And John had thought Macca palming him through his trousers was amazing! He squeezed the tip of his cock and John could see stars. Well, not literally because his eyes were still closed into the nonetheless innocent kiss from Paul.  
John had never felt so good just because of wanking. He feared that if he should've real sex with him someday, no bird would ever be able to satisfy him again.   
“Paul!”, he moaned breaking the kiss, “I'm so close!”  
“Cum for me then, Johnny!”, he whispered innocent and hot at the same time.  
This was everything it took John to fall over the edge and shot his cum all over him and his mate's hand.  
Paul felt himself getting hard again at the scene in front of him, but he knew he'd go soft again as soon as he'd recall today’s events.   
“Jesus Christ, Paul!”, John had problems to regain his breath.  
“Was it okay?”, he asked.   
“Are you joking?! It was amazing! This was- Heaven, Paul! I never came this hard just from wanking!”  
“So you liked it?” Paul couldn't exactly explain where this shyness came from.   
“Of course I liked it! But, you know, you didn't had to do this! I don't want you to do something you aren't ready yet.” He cleaned his seeds with the towel Paul had worn before.  
“I wanted to.”, Paul stated. He didn't say that he'd wanted to return the favour. After all John had done so much for him in the last few days and he didn't want him to leave. He wanted to show him that he cared about him too and that he'd be someday able to give him more though he wasn't exactly sure himself this would ever be the case.   
“All right, but could you please promise me something?”  
“What?”  
John sighed, “That you don't do anything you aren't ready for. Don't do something just because you think I maybe would like you to do it. I'll wait till you're ready, no matter how long it takes.”  
Paul bit his lower lip. Knowing himself he wasn't sure he could promise this to John.   
“I'll try to.”, was the most honest answer he could give him.  
John wasn't completely pleased with his answer but he knew he wouldn't get more from him at the moment. He laid an arm around his shoulder and Paul leaned in again. John stroked through his almost black hair.


	13. Brian knows it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.   
> Thank you for all your nice comments.   
> This chapter is a bit shorter but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

“What do you want to do because of Brian?”, John asked.  
“Well, what do you think I should do?”  
John was surprised. He hadn't expected this kind of answer respectively question.   
“It's totally your decision.”  
“Please, tell me what you think!”, he sounded desperate.  
“Well, I think telling him would make everything a lot easier for you in the future. You know him, he'd do anything for you to make you feel better. He could hire more security and let them keep an eye on the people loafing around the studio and he has contacts far beyond London which could also be useful to keep this swine of Pete Best away from you. Plus, you'll have your own reasons which makes you considering telling him. But I also fear, he might try to talk you into prosecute him.”  
“You think he'd want me to go public about it?”, Paul asked with big eyes.  
“Maybe. I mean, it's not like I doesn't agree with him. I want to see this guy behind bars too. At least, I would sleep better at night if I knew you are safe.”, John tried to explain.  
“Would you want me to go the police?”  
“I don't know, I can understand why you don't want to and it could get very hard in the case the press finds out. To be honest, all I really care about is that you're going to be okay. If telling Brian, the police or the press helps you to get better then do it, if not, don't.”   
“But what if I don't know if it would help me or not?”, Paul asked.   
John looked at him sympathetically. “You don't have to decide this now. Think about it. We won't work for at least a week, I can promise you that. I'll have to speak in serious with Eppy anyway.”   
“One week? But what about the film?”  
“I give a rat's ass about the bloody movie! You wouldn't look like death if he hadn't obliged you to work while you're this sick!”, John massaged Paul's slightly upset tummy carefully while scolding about their manager.  
“John, please, it's not his fault, it's mine. I wanted to go!”, he defended Eppy.  
Just when John was about to say something in return, the bell rang.   
Paul tried to get up, but John pushed him down again.   
“Don't even try!”, he warned. “We'll wait here.”  
Shortly thereafter they heard voices and footsteps approaching the door and the knob were pulled down.  
“Can we come in?”, Ringo asked and stuck his head through the door.  
“Are you ready?”, John asked Paul who nodded.   
“All right then, George, bring him in.”  
Paul wanted to move away a little from John but he wouldn't let him. Instead he pulled him even closer and slung his arm protectively around his waist.   
This was exactly what Brian Eppstein saw when he entered the living room. He looked at the younger ones shape half sitting half lying on John's lap and the possessive arm around his waist and swallowed. Paul seemed really sick. He was pale and looked tired, but there was also something different in his eyes he couldn't identify. He looked at John and for some reason he wasn't surprised at all to see the same 'something' in the way he held onto Paul and the glance he gave him when Brian entered.   
“Hello, lads.”, he greeted them, “How are you, Paul?”  
Paul was about to answer, but John was quicker.  
“How do you think he is?”, he snapped.  
“John!”, Paul laid his hand on John's in order to appease him. Brian raised his eyebrow barely noticeable. Interesting. Very interesting.  
“No, Paul. I warned him yesterday. If something would happen to you he'd be responsible for it.”  
“John, please, I don't even know what happened! How can I apologize for something I don't even know about?”  
The four Beatles shared a glance. What should they say?  
But Brian continued: “Well, at least I don't know for sure what happened to you out there, Paul, but I have a suspicion.”  
Paul clenched John's hand and John squeezed it reassuringly.  
“If you have something to say then spill it out already!”, George demanded. He was on John's side with this. If he hadn't talked Paul into working today, maybe nothing of this would've happened.   
“Well, after today I talked to some people from the hospital Paul was in. I had the guess there was something big going on, something none of you talked about. You two behaved differently and after the four of you just vanished today, I wanted to know what was wrong. So, I called an old friend of mine who is coincidentally the director of central hospital and he gave me some of your results and let's say, I was very surprised to find, well what I found.”  
Paul looked at him, eyes big in shock.   
“And the reason George and Ringo were so upset about Pete Best is that he was the one who raped you, right?”  
“Bastard!”, George yelled after a second of complete silence. “Who gave you the right?!”  
John would have jumped up and started a fight outright, if it wasn't for Paul leaning against him in sheer shock. How dared he? First he forced him to work till he broke down, then Paul got raped while taking a break from being the producers little slave and now where he was completely done, Brian dared to come into his very own house after everything he did to his Paulie and confront him with last weeks trauma!   
“George, I have to know this. Did he really rape Paul or was it just voluntary hard sex? Because if not we have to go to police so they can arrest him for what he did!”  
Paul who had remained silent till now, turned around to face John.   
“Do I have to be here right now?”, his voice was weak and he immediately had John's undivided attention.  
“Of course not, luv.”, he looked at George and Ringo. “Guys, I'm taking Paulie up. He's completely right, he doesn't have to hear this rubbish.”  
The two of them nodded in agreement.   
“Try to sleep a little, yeah?”, George demanded gently.  
“Yeah, I'm sure, you'll feel a lot better after resting a little.”, Ringo agreed.   
Paul flashed them a fainting smile and let John help him up. Nobody paid attention to their manager.  
“Paul, please stay. I know it's hard, but you have to speak about it. I'll have to call the police and they need to know when, where and how often it happened if it happened.”  
Paul began shaking at the sureness in Eppy's voice and the thought of the police coming to him and ask him questions about the details of the rape.   
John gave Brian a look that could've killed somebody within seconds.   
“Leave him the fuck alone! You won't do anything without his permission!”  
“Yeah, Paul, don't worry! We'll keep him away from the phone as long as we have to. And if we have to tie him up for a few weeks, who cares!”, Ringo promised.  
“He deserves it anyhow!”, George chimed in with the oldest Beatle.  
“But-”, Brian wanted to protest when the cover slipped from Paul's knees while standing up and his bruised legs got visible.  
“Heaven!”, Brian murmured and went silent (because of the many bruises not because he thought they looked sexy, though they surely did). Paul blushed at their manager's intense stare on his smooth bare legs.  
John put himself protectively in front of his boyfriend.   
“Stop goggling at him! You're making him uncomfortable. Call one of your queer friends and stare at one of them!”  
“Sorry, I just...”  
“What?”, George snapped.  
“Nothing.”, Brian buried his head in his hands. He knew it was no use to try to discuss anything right now. None of them was rational at the moment. Normally he could rely on Paul when they talked about difficult topics. He was always the reasonable and cheerful one who would encourage and invigorate his band members. The one who'd liven up the mood after a long day of practice and talk the others into one last set. He had more influence on the other boys than Brian would ever have. Especially on John, who was always the most difficult. And Brian was grateful for that. Who knows if they would've released anything by now if Paul wouldn't have animate them into working this hard.   
But now, without Paul on his site, Brian encountered a big wall of hostility, distrust and misunderstanding. He looked after John who helped Paul out of the room and the way he touched the dark haired one told him everything he needed to know. He always had a suspicion.


	14. Paul gets a fever and the lads are fighting again

John helped Paul to climb up the stairs. He guided him to the bedroom and let him sit down onto the bed before he closed the door behind them and turned out the lights.   
Paul sat there petrified. It was too much. Just too much. He knew, he'd normally be embarrassed or panic-struck, worried and scared or maybe even angry, but right now it was just too much to deal with. He couldn't care about Brian at the moment and everything he had wanted was to get away from him and not to have to hear his opinion and suggestions. No, he wouldn't deal with it right now. He wasn't even capable of thinking straight any more. Everything in his head just became a blur.   
“Paul, are you cold? You're shivering.”, the older Beatle went to Paul and felt his forehead.  
“I'm fine, I-”, his eyelids began to flutter and suddenly he felt like his body were on cold flames.   
“You're burning, dear. You've got a temperature.” John sounded concerned. He pushed him down carefully and covered him with the blanket.   
“It's too much!”, he uttered.  
John smiled at him sympathetically and regretted he hadn't brought him out sooner. Fuck Brian! Of course he knew it was partly his fault Paul was unable to cope. The kiss, the fight and his love confession might have been a little bit too much, but hell! Five minutes ago Paul had been fine!  
“I know. I'm sorry about what Brian said. You shouldn't worry about him, though. I promise you he won't do anything you don't want him to. Believe me, George and Rings will keep their promises.”  
But Paul didn't really listen to him. He couldn't quiet focus on words.   
So he tried to reach John who was standing in front of the bed still a bit unsure. Paul held out his arms and brushed his older friend's wrist. When he was able to fully clasp it, he pulled him down to him.   
John was a little surprised when he noticed Paul's weak grasp and felt how he was pulled down. Well, at least the younger one tried to but John had to lean down by himself because Paul was way too weak at the moment.  
“Don't”, the younger lad whispered dimly. He looked at John with feverish eyes as he laid his index finger slightly on the auburn haired one’s lips.  
John seemed to understand Paul didn't want to hear anything about Brian right now and went silent. Instead he laid beside his boyfriend and closed his arms around him. Paul leaned into the touch and tried to get even closer as if he'd want to crawl into John's skin. They tangled their legs and slung their arms around each other. John could feel the heat outgoing from Paul's tired body when he held him as close as possible, chin resting on his boyfriend's moptop.   
Paul looked up to him and came slowly closer. John knew exactly what he was indicating him to do and gave him a slow tender kiss. Paul kissed back just as sweet and loving as him.   
They deepened their kiss a little, but it was still all gentle and delicate. John had never believed that there would ever be a day in his life when he'd enjoy just lying in his bed and sharing mellow and sloppy kisses with someone. Not without sex before or afterwards at least. But apparently he did. He loved every god damn second.   
Paul's lips felt warm against his own ones and he began to wonder how high his fever was. He thought about getting up and measure it, but decided against it. He didn’t want to bother Paul with anything right now. At least not with something this unimportant. Furthermore he wasn’t sure how Paul would react to a thermometer shoved up his bum.  
“You won't get hard from this, will you?”, Paul asked and John could feel him smile against his lips. He chuckled.  
“Don't think so, my beautiful princess.”  
“I love you.”, Paul murmured while his heavy eyelids fell shut.  
“I love you too. Sleep well.”, he whispered, kissing his hot forehead.   
Paul was still pressed closely against him and John loved the feeling of the small body curled up in his arms way too much to get up and go downstairs again. Plus, he wanted to make sure Paul would be okay. He had to cool his fever down. But how? This was no fever caused by illness, no, this was about stress and weakness and emotional hurt. Could he cure it the same way? Could he cure it at all?   
Maybe Ringo would know what to do. He had spent a good part of his childhood in hospital after all. Carefully he loosened Paul's grip around him and got up. When he made his way downstairs he heard George yelling at Eppy, something about him being an insensitive bastard.   
As he opened the door everybody turned around to look at him.  
“How is he?”  
“Not so well.”, he scowled at Brian, “Ringo, could you please come up and help me? He's running a fever and I'm not really sure how to help him.”  
“Oh dear! Of course I'll help. Is he asleep?”, Ringo wanted to know.  
“Yes. I don't know how high his temperature is, but he's very hot.”  
“We should call a doctor. On this occasion he could also look at his... well, you know, queer sex can cause serious harm. Especially if the one who takes it hadn't got... prepared properly. John, did he tell you some details?”  
John had the strong urge to fling his manager against the wall and beat the crap out of him and George looked as if he was actually considering this.   
Ringo was the only one who seemed to still have a halfway clear head. He knew their manager only tried to help, albeit in his own way.   
“First, we won't call a doctor! Paul wouldn't want it and it's just cowardly to do it behind his back. And even more when he's asleep and won't wake up if we let him... have his way with him. Secondly, I don't see a reason in telling you about details of what happened! The only reason I haven't kicked your bloody ass out yet is because I promised Paul you wouldn't do anything he didn't want you to and I can only make sure of that when someone has an eye on you all the time.”, John was about to explode.  
“John, please, I'm just here to help. I want Paul to get better, like the three of you. I just thought calling a doctor while he's asleep seems like a good idea. Because it's really really important someone examines him and it wouldn't be so embarrassing for him if he isn't conscious.”  
“I already looked at him and if you'd truly want him to get better then why did you say these horrible things? Why did you have to start talking about going to police and call into question if he really got raped? Shall I tell you something? Before you came he was well, a little tired but well! Then you came and destroyed everything we just confirmed to him! What did you expect from him?! Breaking down crying and telling you all the little dirty things this monster has done to him? How he fucked him against a wall and touched him? Would you like to know this, Brian? Is this an imagination you'd like to wank off to later under your shower?”  
“John!”, Brian was deep red and even George looked a bit shocked, but only for a second.  
“What? Isn't he right? You always had an eye on Paul because he's kind of cute and now a man fucked him against his will and you can't help but picturing him together with this guy banging the shit out of him!”  
“All right, John, George, stop this right now!”, Ringo intervened. He wasn't agreeing with their manager's behaviour either and he knew he hadn't helped Paul's condition with his ruthlessly innuendos, but he also knew essentially he just tried to help them and the other two only needed someone to wreak their anger.   
“You both know this isn't true and it won't help Paul if you continue to abash our manager. Quiet the reverse! If you two don't shut your mouth he'll wake up and the thing he needs the most right now is sleep!”  
That worked. The two younger Beatles stood there in silence and Brian nodded gratefully at Ringo.  
“Fine. Since I don't trust you three enough to let you alone, Brian will come with me. We go up and keep Paul cool with a wet towel from the bathroom. But we need more. John, George and you will get every towel and cloth which is dispensable. And look for a waste bin. He may be too weak to get up if he has to throw up again.”  
“I don't want him to be alone with Paulie. What if he tries to wake him up or decide to have a look by himself?” John knew he was being irrational but after everything what happened he was ready to fight against anyone threatening his dignity in the least.   
“John, he won't be alone with Paul. I'll be there the whole time and I won't let him even raise the covers let alone pull your boyfriend's underwear down.” Calling Paul his boyfriend was supposed to be a joke but no one, not even Ringo himself took it as such.  
“You can't really think this of me, John, I'd never-”, a glower from the two upset Beatles made him go silent.  
“What? Get turned on by a pretty boy's naked ass?”, George snapped.  
“Don't talk about Paul this way!”, John didn't want the younger one to speak like this about his Paul. After all, he wanted to keep his modesty. That he didn't made a great job himself at the moment was a fact he wasn't aware of.   
“Lads, stop it! Heaven, you two are behaving like kids! What do you think Paul would say if he was awake right now?”  
“Fine, we better hurry up then, because I don't want to take a risk!”  
Brian knew better than to return anything. He and Ringo got up to the bedroom.   
Paul was lying in bed, pale and sweating, his cheeks red from fever. At some point he must've felt incredibly hot, because the T-shirt he had worn was lying on the floor. The thick cover had slipped down to his knees and the too wide boxer shorts exposed more than he'd like somebody (except John maybe) to see.  
Brian blushed but couldn't stop staring at the uncovered skin. He had never been interested in Paul, well, at least not romantically, but hell! This boy was beautiful even when sick as a dog and he was just a man after all and god knows this was a piece of art of a body! He had always thought of him as handsome and if Paul would've asked him for... more, even if it would've been just for one night, his answer would have been yes, partly because he couldn't reject this lad anything. Heaven, nobody could. But also cause he had never slept with a prettier boy and the imagine of John and Paul that was burned in his head by now was way too hot. God, what would he give for actually see this?! But the idea of Paul getting raped and abused in a humiliating way was just... disgusting. He wasn't a pervert and this scenario didn't arouse him at all! John and Paul together, hell yes! But Paul being fucked by this rapist against his will, no this wasn't hot at all!  
“You know, if you don't want John to throw you out the window, you should stop starring at Paul like this.”, Ringo said and went to the bed to cover his friend's intimate area.  
“I'm sorry, I just-”  
“I know. You're just trying to help. I'm only saying John will do everything to save his modesty and if he'd catch you starring at his half exposed bum and genitals, he might get this wrong.”  
“I really upset them, didn't I?”  
Ringo sighed. “It's not entirely your fault. They are just angry because they couldn't protect Paul. Not an hour ago they were on each others throats. Sometimes I wonder if they know how similar they can be.”  
He felt Paul's forehead with growing concern in his eyes. “John was right, he's very hot. Could you please get me a cold wet towel from the bathroom? It's right next to this room.”  
“Of course.”  
After Brian had vanished, Ringo sat next to Paul on the edge of the bed. He let his hand resting between the younger boy's eyebrows and hairline and caressed him gently.   
“I'm sorry, Paulie.”, he mumbled, “I wish none of this had ever happened to you. I wish I could tell you nobody's going to degrade you further and Brian's going to keep his mouth shut as well as John and George for this matter, but believe me, I'll do everything to make you feel better.”  
Paul stirred under his touch and for a second Ringo thought he was going to wake up, but instead he muttered something incoherent.  
“Paul?”  
“Stop it... please! No, Pete... I- I'm sorry! Please! Please, it hurts!”, Ringo's eyes widen in understanding. Oh god, Paul was dreaming about this.


	15. Paul has another nightmare

“What's wrong with him?”, Brian asked, holding out the towel the Beatle had begged for.  
“He's having a nightmare.”   
“Oh dear! Shall we wake him up?”, Brian looked as doubtful as Ringo felt.  
“I don't know. I'm not even sure he'll be able to differentiate from dream and reality right now. Maybe his fever is too high and he really needs to sleep.”  
But Paul didn't stop moaning and tossing around and as soon as tears began to stream down his hot cheeks, they both knew they couldn't let him sleep on like this.   
“Get John! I'll try to wake him up.”   
Brian didn't protest.   
“I don't want this! Just stop it, please! I won't tell... just pull out!”, he got louder and sounded more desperate when Ringo started to shake his shoulders.   
“Paul! Please, you have to wake up!”  
But the younger one was way too far gone in his fever dream.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Paul felt cum dropping from his bum. The disgusting fluid made its way over his thighs and legs till it reached the ground. It was the most humiliating sensation Paul had ever felt. Well, together with getting entered by another man and getting stroked while you feel yourself harden against your will. Pete grinned down at him manically.   
He knelt down next to the spot where Paul had collapsed after the other one’s orgasm. He pushed Paul’s chin up and got up again. His cock was still leaking and he directed it to Paul’s mouth.  
“Suck me!”, he demanded.  
Paul pressed his lips together into a firm line, refusing his tormentor.   
“Didn’t you hear what I said?! You’re going to take my big cock into that dirty mouth of yours and suck me of like the naughty bitch you are! And you will swallow it to the last drop!”  
Paul shook his head frantically. He wanted to throw up again, but this would mean he had to open his mouth.   
Pete slapped him across the face when Paul still refused to obey and took out his knife again. He pressed it against his throat.  
“Open. Your. Mouth!”, Pete said.  
Paul tried to hold back the tears when he opened his mouth to take the slowly softening cock into his mouth.   
“Suck!”  
And Paul did. He felt Pete groan and pull at his hair to get himself deeper into Paul’s mouth. The taste was awful and Paul had to gag again. Pete seemed to like the sensation because he pulled at his hair, letting out more of his release, which made Paul gag over and over again.  
Paul tried not to let panic take over. He had to stay calm, breath through his nose and get over with it as soon as possible. But then he felt the cock in his mouth harden again. He couldn't do this! Not again!   
So he did the only thing he was able to think of: he bit down onto the sensitive flesh, making Pete Best cry out in pain.  
For a moment Paul feared (or hoped, he wasn’t too sure, anymore) Pete would take the knife and kill him instantly, but instead he felt how the dick was removed from his throat abruptly and he was left with the taste of iron on his tongue.   
Best pulled at his hair to raise his head and slapped him a few times very hard. Rage was drawn all over his face and he yelled at him loud enough to make his ears ringing. What exactly he said Paul couldn't understand though. Neither did he care at this moment.   
Pete raised his fist to punch him in the jaw and Paul closed his eyes, preparing himself mentally for the following pain, but when nothing happened he opened his eyes again.   
The look in Pete’s eyes and the maniacal grin told Paul that he was going to wish Pete had just beaten him up and knocked him out.   
Indeed, he tugged himself into his pants again and cupped Paul’s exposed, fully limp prick and began to stroke him. First he made slow movements to get him stiff for the moment.   
Paul blushed deeply and tried to struggle away when he actually felt himself harden a little. He didn’t want this man to touch him! It was so humiliating! Almost as terrible like the older one sticking his member up his bum and ramming into him.   
“Look who’s awaking!”, Pete grinned, squeezing his tip. Paul held back a moan. He couldn't let this monster debase him further. He’d never forgive himself, he knew this much.  
How much he wished he could be with John right now. Laughing, joking, watching TV, playing cards with the others, whatever! He just wanted to see his face, hear his soothing voice, feel his touch.   
“Don’t you dare closing your big girly eyes! I want you to see this! I want you to feel this! The power I have over your disgusting body, to make your little cock harden under my fingers like the naughty queer you are!”, he yanked at his member, making Paul cry out in pain and pleasure.  
Paul couldn't understand his body. How could he react like this? He was sure he didn’t like Pete’s touch. Maybe Pete was right, maybe- stop! He couldn’t think like this! But-  
“I said ‘Watch’!”, Pete yelled and forced him to lock at his naked prick which slowly hardened. Pete messaged his balls and stroked him faster. He saw tears streaming down his victim’s cheeks and let out a satisfied smile.  
“You know the sooner you give in and let me make you cum, the sooner it’s over!”, he grinned.  
Paul pressed his lips together, determined to not give in. Never.   
“You know, I can do this all day. When you hold on a little longer, I’ll be up for a second round.”, he threatened after a few minutes.  
Paul knew he couldn't hold back much longer. He wasn’t able to believe he was going to actually cum from this. It didn’t even feel good! He tried to prolong it, cause he knew after this moment he’d never get his self-esteem back.   
“C’mon! Cum for me! Let me see you shooting your spunk all over my hands like the fucking poofter you are!”, he stroked him harder and faster and Paul felt himself falling over the edge with a strangled cry.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Relief floated Ringo’s veins when he heard someone rumbling up the stairs. John, closely followed by George ripped open the door and rushed to the bed. Ringo had to dodge.  
“He doesn't want to wake up!”  
“Paulie! Please wake up, luv! Nobody's doing you no harm. Just open your eyes!”  
“Don't touch me! Just stop it, please!”, Paul begged crying.  
“Fuck! Why doesn't he wake up?”, John cursed while slightly slapping his cheeks.  
“Out of the way!”, George said and bent over Paul's sleeping features.  
“What are-”  
George covered Paul's mouth and nose with his hands and waited a second. Paul snapped up gasping.  
“Thank god!”, Ringo murmured relieved. “How-?”  
“I was the youngest of four kids, remember? You wake up automatically if you can't breath.”, George shrugged.  
“Paulie, you all right?”, John asked still concerned.  
“I-”, he began to retch and sat up. John didn't hesitate one second and grasped the waste bin from the floor.   
“Please, wait outside. He doesn't need four of us to watch him.”, John begged the other three while Paul threw up violently.   
“You're right.”, Ringo agreed.   
“Are you sure, we shouldn't call a doctor?”, Brian asked from the door frame.  
“Out!”, John repeated sharp, scowling at their manager.  
Ringo dragged George with him who didn't look like he wanted to leave his friend puking out his insides.   
“Be careful with him.”, he said before he let the older one drag him away.  
Paul was still vomiting severely when the door behind their friends closed and they were left alone. John wondered how someone could throw up far more than he had eaten within three days.   
He tried to sooth the younger Beatle and caressed his back and his sensitive tummy, but it took Paul whole ten minutes to stop retching.   
“Do you think you have to throw up again?”, he asked, gently rubbing circles on his wrist.   
“N-no.”, he whispered shivering. John took the waste bin from his hands and put it onto the ground.   
In the meantime Paul buried his head in his hands in order to hide the tears still streaming down his face.   
“Paul, please look at me!” John laid his hands on Paul's and pulled them gently from his face. With the wet towel he cleaned his lips carefully and wished away the tears with his thump. The younger one leaned into the touch. He felt miserably. Heavy and dizzy, full of shame and confusion. He was shivering from the cold, though he could feel hot sweat all over his weak body.   
Why couldn't he just stop thinking about this? Banish everything and pretend nothing of this had ever happened to him?   
“You're safe with me, Paulie, it was just a nightmare!”, John tried to calm him down.  
“No, it was more than that. It was a memory.”  
John wrapped his arms around him holding onto Paul tightly and let him sob against his chest. He sensed the warmth of the other ones feverish body and steadied him slightly with a hand on his hip and one at his back.  
“I know. But I'm here now, I'll protect you and keep you safe with me forever. I won't leave your site and I won't let you go out alone as long as this swine is still on the loose.”, he rocked back and forth with him in his arms.  
“It was like I were back there again and- and I felt him touching me and-”, he couldn't continue speaking and cried harder instead, clutching John's shirt with his hands.  
“Shhh! I know! But everything's going to be okay, I promise.”  
“He said the only reason I'm still alive is because he took delight in doing this to me. I wish he would've killed me instead!”, Paul sobbed.  
John didn't know what to say. How should he convince Paul that it was good he was still alive? That he was grateful that Paul was still here with him?  
“I'm so sorry, Paulie. I wish I had been there to protect you, but I hope you'll change your mind about this someday. Though I can't blame you if you don't. Just remember, no matter what will be, I'm there for you and I help you with whatever you need, all right?”  
“Can you stay with me tonight?”, Paul asked a bit shy and John had to smile about his younger friend.  
“Of course, luv. Just let me get you a glass of water first. You don't want this nasty taste in your mouth all night, want you? Plus, you're running a pretty high fever so you should stay dehydrated.”  
The other one nodded, watching how John got up and made his way to the wooden door.  
“Could one of you get us a glass of water, please?”, he asked Ringo and George, standing right next to the door.  
“Course. Just a second.”, Ringo answered and went to the bathroom to get the liquid.  
John in the meantime went back to bed. He climbed in and snuggled up to Paul.  
“Do you try to make Brian jealous?”, Paul asked already semi-delirious with heavy voice.  
“Maybe a bit. After all I have to show him that you're mine.” he chuckled stroking his warm cheek, in the hope he'd stay awake till Ringo would come back with the water.  
“Am I?”  
“Yes you are.”, John kissed his temple.  
“Good.”, he murmured


	16. The lads talk a lot while Paul sleeps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit longer. I hope you don't mind.

Paul had laid his head on John's chest when Ringo came in with a glass of water. The youngest only noticed him when he was already standing right next to the bed.   
“Hey, Paulie.”, he laid a hand on his forehead.  
“Hey, Ritchie.”, Paul smiled sweetly at him, eyelids half closed. John wiped the remaining tracks of tears from his face.  
“C'mon, Macca, I'll help you sit up so you can drink.”, John said and helped him into an upright position. Then he took the glass from Ringo and held it in a way the younger one was able to drink slowly.  
“He seems pretty clear for having a fever this high.”, Ringo stated and John had to agree.   
“Maybe, but his body is so weak.”, he said looking at the Beatle who laid half on his lap again.   
“I'd like to call a doctor.”  
“No doctor.”, Paul breathed weakly, “As long as John's here, I'll be all right.”  
John felt a heat rising in his chest and pulled his only half conscious friend closer.  
“And I'll stay with you, I promise.”  
He looked at Ringo who was watching the scene with a smile. He shook his head slightly in amusement. He had never seen John like this, all caring and loving and protective. It was kind of sweet.  
“Fine, but if his fever gets any worse, we'll call a doctor or take him to a hospital.”  
“Lads?”, George came in, directing his look to the bed. “Hey, just wanted to check on you. Everything's all right?”  
“Yes. Where's Eppy?”, John asked.  
“Right in front of the door. Told him you and Paul wouldn't appreciate him being around and trying to catch a glance at your boyfriend's naked ass.”, he looked at Paul expecting him blushing or protesting but he just stared as if he was looking through him. “Er, should we, I don't know, measure his temperature?”  
“Don't think this would be such a good idea.”  
“Why?”, George looked quizzically.   
Ringo made a step away from the bed. “You do know how to measure someone's temperature, right?”   
George hesitated. “You mean because...”  
“We can't just put it up his- I don't know how he'd react. He went through enough today. We can't humiliate him further right now. Maybe John will be able to make him relax enough later, but there's no way he'd do it with the two of us watching.”, he spoke quietly in order to not disturb the other two in the bed.  
“Do you think they are... you know what I mean?”  
“I'm not sure, I guess so. Perhaps we can talk with John when Paul's asleep before we speak with the both of them tomorrow.”, Ringo said.  
“What shall we say?”  
“Well, first of all we should reassure them we're okay with them being... together. So they know, we don't judge them. Because we don't, do we?”  
“Of course we don't. As long as the two are happy and John don't overstrain him, I'm all right with it.”, George answered.   
“What are you two whispering about?”, John asked, interrupting their conversation.  
“Nothing important.”  
“We just want to talk to you later when he's asleep.”  
John looked at the already half unconscious lad in his arms. “You can ask or tell me whatever you want, but I will stay in this room. I promised him to.”  
“I'm afraid we'll have to get Brian in then. We shouldn't let him alone for too long.”, Ringo said.  
“Depends on what you two want to talk about.”, John stated. He knew there were certain things neither he nor Paul would want him to know.  
“Well, we still don't know everything what happened. I mean not only between you two but also the first time he got... you know what I mean. We want to know what exactly this man did to him and I think it would be better if you tell us about it first, so Paul can take his time.”, Ringo explained and George nodded in agreement.  
Paul didn't listen to them. He was half asleep already and as long as John'd stay with him he couldn't care less.  
“I agree with you but I don't think he'd like Brian to know about this. I have to speak about it with him first.”  
“Well, good luck with this!”, George said sarcastically pointing at Paul.   
“All right, we'll let you two alone for a minute then and get Brian.”, Ringo and George left the bedroom.  
John stroked Paul's hair gently.  
“Paul?”  
He shook his shoulder slightly.  
“Paulie?”  
“Yes?”, a weak voice answered.  
“Hey, Luv.”, he kissed his forehead. “George and Ringo want to know more about what happened. Would you be okay with Brian listening while I tell them?”  
“Do it. If you don't tell him, he'll be all over me because of this later.”, Paul sighed closing his eyes. “Johnny?”  
“Yes, Macca?”  
“Please don't tell them how he... he made me come. I wouldn't bear the thought of them knowing. It was too... humiliating.”, he whispered.  
“I won't tell them, I promise.”, John kissed his lips gently. “And if it gets too graphic or Brian should say something stupid, I'll kick his sorry ass out the window, all right?”  
Paul tried to nod but felt too weak to raise his head, but John understood he was agreeing, anyway.   
“You're tired and should try to go back to sleep again. I will stay here with you and won't leave till we eat breakfast tomrrow.”  
“You'll sleep with me?”, Paul asked, eyes still closed and a weary- smile decorating his lips.  
“Well, you don't have anything to hide from me any more.”, John grinned and if Paul wasn't already out like this he would've blushed.  
“No,” he breathed, “no, I don't. You can see everything you like to.”, he was almost asleep, so Lennon pulled the cover up higher smiling and gave him another peck on the lips.   
“I know, but you really should sleep now. I'll be here and protect you the whole time. Just sleep.”  
Someone cleared his throat as John kissed him gently one last time.   
“What? You can't tell me you never saw two boys kissing before!” John said, making Brian blush.  
“Is he asleep?”, Ringo wanted to know.  
The auburn haired one looked down at his friends relaxed features. “Yes, he is.”  
The two Beatles sat down onto the edge of the bed, while Brian took a seat on a big armchair a few feet away.   
“Tell us what happened then!”  
John sighed. “There isn't this much to tell, really. It was the night after this photo session when he was out to drink something in a pup. He met Pete Best, they talked, Paul wanted to go but he wouldn't let him. Instead he pressed him against a wall and whipped out a knife. I'm not going to tell you the details of how he raped him. Paul wouldn't be comfortable with it. All I can say is, that it was really brutal and he did everything to humiliate him. Not physically but also psychologically. I guess this was the reason he was late the next day and it also caused his strange behaviour. The hospital called me after he had this car accident because of his concussion. He needed someone to have an eye on him for at least 24 hours. Due to his unconsciousness he wasn't able to charm his way out. When I got there I spoke with a nurse who asked me how close we were, then she told me they found traces of rape and suddenly everything made sense. He woke up and I took him home with me. There I confronted him and though he first denied it, he broke down crying eventually. I never saw him this way before, he was scared and confused and hyperventilated most of the time. He couldn't even speak proper. After he calmed down a bit I carried him up and he fell asleep in my bed. When our beloved manager talked him into working yesterday, I tried to convince Paul he shouldn't go. I also tried to explain our dear Mr. Eppstein here, how it would end Macca, but he was to busy thinking about businesses and deadlines.”, Brian wanted to say something but John cut him of before he got the chance to do so.  
“And though he spent a good part of the morning throwing up and could barely stand the drive to studio, he came. Well, we all know what happened next. I arrived the minute Pate finished. When he heard me yelling, he pulled out and ran away. I wanted to chase him, but I thought it would be far more important to stay with Paul. He's still very much in pain, but he doesn’t want to see a doctor and I won't try to force him or do it behind his back.”  
“Why didn't he tell us?”, George asked.   
“He was ashamed! The things Best has done and said to him were aimed at him being too embarrassed and guilt-ridden afterwards. Plus, he doubted we would’ve believed him if he’d told us Pete who we haven't heard from within more than two years, raped him in a dirty back alley. Not to forget he threatened him.”   
“Well, it really sounds like an unlike story. After all we all know Pete Best. Why should he do such a thing? Are you really sure you saw him there and not someone who just looked a bit similar?”, Brian asked, getting a glower from John and George.  
“I'm warning you, Brian, shut the fuck up about him! At least as long as you're still doubting him! Why should he lie anyway? And yes, I saw him! I saw his face as he were thrusting in and out of him. I saw him gripping Paul's hips and the knife in his hand. I could hear him moaning and panting while he pressed him against the wall and came all over him!”  
The other three looked at him shocked. None of them could imagine right now what Paul had been through.  
“John...”, Ringo didn't know what to say.  
“When he first told me about it he was a sobbing mess. It was after you two left and he tried to sleep and had a terrible nightmare. Otherwise he would never have told me these details.”  
“I'm sorry, John.”, Brian apologized.  
“Well, you better are! Because if you should tell him anything like this, anything which is insulting or querying, I'll cut off your poor balls and let them dangle out of the window as deterrent! Understand?”  
Brian blushed and nodded. “I really am sorry for him, John, believe me. It's just hard to imagine someone we knew could do something like this.”  
“Did he tell you why Pete did this?”, Ringo asked.  
“No, yes, well, he said to Paul he had wanted to do this before but it was more about revenge, I guess, because he also told him it was his fault his mother died thinking he was a loser. Though I don't see how it was Paul's fault. After all he was least involved in the decision to fire him and replace him by Rings. Pete knew which role every one of us played, so I don't know why he took it out on Paul.”  
“So he never told you?”, Brian spoke up.  
“Told me what?”  
Suddenly the manager looked very uncomfortable. “Well, he- I don't know if I should tell you this, I promised him not to, back then.”  
“Spit it out already!”, John didn't know what to think of this. What could Paul probably told Brian, he didn't want even John to know? It made no sense at all! Of course they always got along well, even while the others were still sceptical about the man from the middle class, but there was never much more than polite greetings and some easy conversations at times. Not like him and John.   
Brian looked at George and Ringo, hoping one of them would put a stop at this dialogue, but they looked just as awaiting and demanding as John.  
“Well, it was only a few weeks before you told me to fire Pete Best. Paul came to me to talk about him. He seemed nervous and a little uncertain. He asked if he said something to me, how George Martin liked the drumming part, if the fans liked him... such things.”  
“Why?”, the other three were keen of hearing by now.  
“I don't know! Though I asked him, he never told me. Later I thought he did it, because you came up with the thought of firing him and he wanted to ensure the band would survive it, or to forewarn me what you guys were about to do. It made sense back then but not any more.”   
“What did you tell him?”  
“The truth. I didn't spoke with Best about something particular recently and the girls were all over him. George Martin hadn't complained about him back then, so I told him he also seemed all right with him.”  
“You sure, you don't have any idea what this was all about? He didn't indicated something?”, George asked.  
“Nothing. I asked him a few times what was wrong. If he had a fight with him or something, but he gave me no hint. This lad can be very secretive sometimes.”  
“Whatever this was about, it didn't give Pete the right to bloody fucking rape him!”, John said protectively. He didn't want the others to consider that it could be Paul's fault. It wasn't. It could never be.   
“Of course not, John. Nobody's saying this. Maybe they had a fight before and when he got fired he automatically blamed Paul because he thought he'd incite us. The only two who know what happened are Pete and Paul. So, I suggest that we'll ask him tomorrow when he's feeling better. There's no point in dragging out this conversation right now.”, Ringo objected.   
John nodded. He wanted to be alone with Paul to take care of him.  
“Well, then let's go to our second question,”, George grinned slightly, “What's going on between the two of you?”  
John sighed. Well, this would take a while. He looked down at the younger one who was lying on his lap, head resting against his chest and smiled.  
“To explain you everything going on between us would take the whole night and I want him to get some rest, so you have to be a tad more precise.”  
Brian was surprised how frankly John seemed to be about his feelings for the doe-eyed one.  
“Well, would you like to fuck him?”, George tried to loosen the mood a bit, after being serious almost the whole day. John felt himself go for it.  
“If he were a girl I'd already have.”, he grinned.  
“But you already made out?”  
“Course, we did.”, for a moment John considered telling them how he wanked Paul and vice versa, but quickly decided against it. Paul wouldn't be very fond of him sharing their, yet non-existence sex life with their common friends and manager.   
“So, you two are together now? You know, like together together?”, Ringo wanted to know.  
John laughed, “We haven't really talked about how we call this, but yes, I guess we are.”  
“Did you ever plan on telling us you are so madly in love with each other if we hadn't walked in on you snogging him?”  
John thought about it. This was a very good question.  
“Wait, you walked in on them...?”, Brian looked surprised. He hadn't expect this. Well, of course he had known there was something going on between them and he'd seen the peck John had given Paul when he entered, but snogging was much more... graphic. He failed in the attempt not to blush.   
“Yes, and they were pretty furious. Especially Geo here.”  
“Well, I guess it was really shocking to find their best male friends in this kind of position.”  
“No, they thought I forced him. Anyway, I honestly don't know how we would've dealt with it. The way I know Paul he would have pondered about it for months before he came to a decision.”  
“Yeah and just when he decided what to do, he would have told you and five minutes later we'd walk in on you shagging him senseless.”, George laughed.  
“Well, I'm glad we found it out this way. I guess I would’ve gotten a heart attack if I walked in on you without forewarning. George, remember me to always knock before I enter a room while the two are alone in there.”  
Nobody said a word about Paul might not be able to have sex at all.   
Brian's head was deep red by now. He was clearly embarrassed by their topic, but he knew he had to say something.   
“You know, nobody outside of this room can ever know about this. If someone found out there would be a scandal to say the least and it's illegal after all.”  
“Never bothered you though.”, John said drily.  
“Y-yes, but I'm very careful and I'm not one of the famous Beatles.”, his cheeks burned in crimson.  
“You're acting like we were queer! But we aren't, we just like each other, not men in general.”  
“Well, people won't make a difference.”  
“I know and believe me, we won't be so stupid to run around and randomly tell people.”, John rolled his eyes.  
“Well, I guess we should leave you and Paul alone then, before this turns into a real fight.”, Ringo said and John looked up at him gratefully.  
“When he wakes up, make him drink something, so he stays dehydrated and if his fever gets worse call me. George and I will stay at the hotel down the street, so you two can be completely relaxed.”  
“All right. But you don't have to stay at a hotel. I have a few guest rooms, you know, I'm sure Paul would be happy to have you around.” Suddenly the idea of being alone with Paul made him incredibly nervous.   
What if something happened? What if he needed help or didn't know what to do or even worse if he did something wrong? What if he had another nightmare and John was sleeping too deep to notice? (Not that it was very likely Ringo and George sleeping in one of the guest rooms downstairs would hear him, but John lying directly next to him didn't. But What if for Christ’s sake?!)   
“John, like you already pointed out he really needs some rest. If something's wrong we can be here in less then five minutes. I'll call you and give you the number of the hotel as soon as we get there.”, he laid his left hand reassuringly on his shoulder and John could feel himself relax a little. Ringo was right.  
“Yes, everything's going to be all right.”, George smiled at him. “And don't worry 'bout Brian here, the bloke knows exactly there's no point in going to police because everyone of us will tell them he's completely crazy and always tells stories like this cause he's a pathological liar or something.”, he gave the oldest of them a sidelong glance.  
“All right, all right. I understand it wouldn't made any sense to call the police without convincing Paul first, I can see this now. I will talk to the lad later about it though, but for now I'll let you be. I guess I'm heading home then unless you need my help with anything right now.”  
“No, just leave. Try not to think about Paul while showering later.” John went back to teasing Brian who went red immediately.  
“Goodbye then. I'll call you tomorrow. Have an eye on him and tell him to get well soon, will you?”   
After Brian left Ringo and George brought them a few towels and a huge bowl with cold water for John to continue in his attempts to cool Paul's fever down. Ringo also got him a fever thermometer from the bathroom and laid it beside the bowl on the bedside table.  
“Just in case you want to...”, he murmured quietly.  
John nodded a “Thanks, mate” and gently brushed a lock of Paul's hair out of his eyes.  
“All right, we'll leave you too now. I'll call you as soon as we're there and we'll come over tomorrow after waking up and you two had some time to chat.”, Ringo gave John a friendly hug.  
“Yeah and just call us if something's up or you need help.”, George added.  
“I'll do that. Thanks for everything, guys!” John pulled George down so they were eye on eye to hug him goodbye. George smiled slightly and patted his back matey.  
“There! There! Why so touchy? You should better cuddle your boyfriend instead of me!”  
“Sod off!”, John grinned.


	17. fluffy talking between John and Paul

After some Goddnight-wishes the two boys vanished and John and Paul were on their own.   
John laid down and the younger one shifted a little so that his head was lying between John's chest and shoulder and his hand rested near his face by now. One of his own legs were slung over Paul's and rested between his thighs. And John held him tight, nuzzling his hair and wished they could stay like this forever.   
When the phone on the nightstand rang a few seconds later he hurried to pick up cause he didn't want Paul to wake up because of the noises.   
The phone call only took about three minutes. He told Ringo the both of them were still alive and Ringo informed him they would call them in the early noon if he hadn't heard anything from John up to this point of time.   
After John hung up he turned his attention back to Paul and started to wet one of the towels to press it gently on his sweaty forehead.  
“You know what, Paulie? When you're better we will walk to this beautiful park behind the house. We can wander around there for hours, like we did when we were younger. I know how you love the nature. And you'll move in with me, so we can sleep every night in the same bed. If we're on tour again we'll also ever sleep together no matter what Brian might say because he's scared what will happen if the press should figure things out. Oh, and I'll buy you a dog. You know, I always was more of a cat-type, but I know, you've always wanted a dog since you were a child. I'll get you a big one, maybe a sheepdog who can protect you, when I'm not there with you...”, he continued to ramble on about several things he or they would do. Planning their future relaxed him a bit.   
An hour later he started to feel sleepy. So he took the cloth from his mates forehead and got up to turn off the lights he’d switched on while talking.   
Moonlight was falling onto Paul's sleeping features and the milky skin, causing John to hold in his breath and stare at him before crawling into his bed again. He looked stunning and absolutely beautiful and he was finally his, he realized.   
John smiled at the thought and bent over to give him a goodnight kiss. When he felt him stirring he wanted to pull away, but Paul wouldn't let him. He slung his arms around John's neck and pulled him down again.   
John, still a bit surprised watched how Paul's eyes fluttered slowly open and a flush crept up his cheeks.  
“Sorry, I didn't want to wake you. Just tried to kiss you goodnight.”, he apologized.  
“No, it's all right. I'm glad you did. How late is it?” Paul sounded a bit sleepy and weak but apart from that good. He turned on a small lamp.  
“”Well, if you'd let me go I could put on my glasses and have a look at the clock.”, John chuckled.  
“Suddenly the time doesn't seem so important for me anymore.”, Paul smiled, making John laugh.  
“Want me to lay down with you again? Or do you want something to eat or drink first?”  
“Just come back to bed again, please.”  
“Well, you have to let me go for that too.”, John grinned.  
“Do I really have to?”  
“I'm afraid yes, dear. But don't worry I'll be by your side again in a split of a second. I won't leave you, I promise.”  
“All right then.”, Paul released him and John jumped into bed again.   
Paul immediately snuggled closer and John pulled him into his arms.  
He loved cuddling with John. Especially at the moment there was nothing else he'd rather do. The fever made him feel so light and heavy at the same time. It was a strange sensation but he wouldn't  
complain as long as he had John by his side.   
“Awww is my Paulie feeling cuddly?”, John said in a half mocking half affectionate voice.   
“You know, you like it! Don't deny it!”  
“You're right, I love it!”, John kissed his moptop and held him tighter.   
He expected Paul to fall asleep again fast, but he didn't.  
“You know, you can go back to sleep if you want to. I mean it was an exhausting day and you are still having a pretty high fever, so I guess you have to be tired.”  
Paul's eyes fell on the fever thermometer resting on the nightstand. He swallowed.  
“Did you...”, he blushed at the thought.  
John followed his gaze and concluded instantly what the younger one was thinking. He could sense Paul's nervousness and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.  
“No. No, I didn't. Ringo just put it there for the case we'd want to measure it later. You not being conscience doesn't give me the right to penetrate your intimate sphere. I would never dare touching you there without your permission, all right? You can really trust me, I promise.”  
Paul flushed even more, but he nodded.   
“I know, thanks. And as long as it's only you, you can do whatever you want to me. I mean, I would be okay with you touching me there, because I trust you completely and I know you would never hurt me.”  
John smiled gently and laid a hand on his forehead.  
“That's the fever speaking out of you.”  
“No, it's not! I mean it, John!”, Paul looked at him seriously.  
John hesitated a second before he slowly let his hands wander. He started caressing his lower back and went down further to the curve of his hips and eventually arrived at his best mates bum.   
“So, this is okay for you?”, he asked.  
Paul did look a bit insecure, but when he felt the older one staring at him he smiled it of and snuggled closer to John's chest and nodded.  
So John dared to lay his hands on the firm bum of his friend. It was less something sexual than rather a prove of trust and a comforting gesture.  
“You really are all right with this? Because, you know it would be totally okay if you aren't ready yet. We have time.”  
“No, it's fine. Really. Your touch is not a bit like Pete's. He just cared about taking me, hurting me, making me his.”, Paul shivered, “But I know you're not like him:”  
“You know, I'd never- I mean if you don't want me to touch you, I wouldn't dare and I would never ever try to force you to... have Sex with me or something. I know, he treated you like a piece of meat but I won't be like this. Never.”, John wanted Paul to know he was serious, that he really meant it. He barely noticed what his friend had said.  
“Johnny, I know this.”, he made the older one look at him. “I know you would never do what he did. You would never make me turn around and spread my thighs and- you know what he did. I trust you! I wouldn't be lying semi-naked with you in bed otherwise!”, he blushed at his own statement.   
John looked at him and began to smile. When the others had left he had been scared of being alone with him due to his concern he could do something wrong with fragile Paul, who maybe wouldn't be able to handle John's incompetence in his situation. Now he got proved wrong again by the strength of Paul McCartney. A for strength which most people (including John) seldomly gave him any credit for.  
“What?”, the smile on his face confused Paul.   
“Just thought about how much I love you and that you indeed are laying semi-naked next to me.”, he gave him his flirty grin and stroked his friend's hip.   
Paul blushed giggling.   
If it wasn't for his glassy eyes and the lightly sweaty hair, both caused by the younger one's high fever, it would've been like always. Well, or like always would hopefully look for them in the future.  
“I like lying in bed with you being semi-naked.”, John stated.  
“Me too. I wish we could spent every night like this.”  
“Who says we can't?”   
Paul shrugged, “Well, are you really sure you want this? Because I could totally understand if you'd change your mind by now.”  
“Change my mind? Why should I do so?”  
Paul shrugged again. He couldn't really answer the other one's question. He just didn't want to get hurt (again). If John would leave him one day because of what happened, it would end him. Well, he would be terrible no matter the reason, but going on with the knowledge it was because of this... it would kill him. In the case John had any doubts about them, he should stop this right now. Now would be better then someday in the future when he wasn't prepared.  
“I still want to be together with you, Paulie, I'm sure. I honestly don't care if we never can have sex! I don't mind if you should feel insecure about some things or you being overly diffident. Or whatever part you're worrying about. There's nothing we can't handle together.”  
“So, you know that it will take some time?”, he bit his lip.  
“Yes, I know. And I will be there for you and help you through this the best I can.”  
John stroked his hair and Paul snuggled closer.  
“I know. Thanks for this.”  
“You're very welcome.”, John chuckled.  
“What are you laughing at?”, Paul wanted to know.  
“Just your cuteness, darling.”  
The younger Beatle looked up at him quizzically.  
“I just thought that I'm the happiest man on earth and what Brian would give for seeing us now.”  
Paul grinned before he yawned.  
“You tired?”, John asked.  
“A bit.”, he confessed.  
“Well, then lets go back to sleep. Tomorrow will be an exhausting day. The others will come over again and I will get the rest of your stuff.”  
“So, you still want me to stay then?” Paul, who's head rested on John's chest by now looking up at the older one.  
“Of course I do. I won't let you go back there, believe me.”  
“I will go with you to help.”, he yawned again.  
“No way, dear! I won't let you go outside, even if your fever has subsided till then. Don't want to take the risk you're getting sick again.”  
“Johnny, please, I really can handle that. I'm not that fragile.”, Paul protested.  
“That's completely out of question! I'll do what I should've already done in the beginning!”, John explained.  
“Which would be?”, Paul asked rolling his eyes at the other one.  
“Bed rest. And with that I mean you're going to spend the whole day in bed. You will eat and you will sleep. No work. If you only think about getting up, I'll tie you to the bed and for the time I won't be there, I'll get Rings and George to have an eye on you, so you don't try anything. I'm serious, if you have to use the loo, I'll get you something to pee in!”  
Paul's cheeks turned dark red at John's announcement.  
“John, I'm not going to pee into... something!”  
“Why? It's not like there's something I haven't seen before.”  
Paul couldn't say if John really didn't see the reason why it was humiliating to urinate in a bed in front of your best mate/soon to be lover (hopefully) and watch how he got rid of your piss afterwards, or if he just underestimated the amount of embarrassment which was combined to it for Paul.  
“That's not the point, John.”  
Hearing Paul say his name like this told him, he was going to far. The younger man had always been a bit more modest than him (to say the least). So maybe the thought about it was more than just a little uncomfortable. Maybe he would be truly ashamed by it and the last thing John wanted him to be was self-conscious.   
“Well, maybe I could just carry you to the loo and wait in front of the door for you to finish...?”, John looked at him quizzically. He really didn't know what to say.  
Paul on the other hand couldn't quiet believe he was actually having this conversation. But he knew if he didn't agree to this, John wouldn't stop talking about it.  
“All right,”, he sighed, “that would be fine by me.”  
John nodded relieved.  
“Close your eyes then.”  
Paul did as he was told and felt how warm lips were pressed gently on his own. He let his hands run through the older ones hair and felt John's grip around him tightened. One of his hands were on Paul's bum again and slowly he started to enjoy the feeling of John's hand stroking and squeezing him there softly.   
“Night, Macca.”  
“Good night, Johnny.”  
It didn't take long till both of them were deep asleep, holding onto each other.


	18. The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left a kudo or wrote a comment! I'm really appreciating them.  
> This chapter is a bit longer than usually (I guess no one really minds), have fun with it!  
> (The next one will include a bit more Action, I promise!)

When John woke up again he found Paul still sleeping beside him for a change. He looked peaceful with John's arms around him, holding him tight.   
He smiled and looked at the clock. Half past nine.  
John sighed. He hadn't slept that well in like forever. Feeling Paul's hand on his chest and hearing his steady breathing made him relax and just felt right.   
Deciding, he would just savour this precious moment a bit longer, he laid back again and nestled a little closer to the younger Beatle.  
It was about half an hour later when he felt Paul stir.  
The younger one slowly opened his eyes when he felt John staring at him.  
“Morning”, he mumbled sleepily.  
John smiled widely at him. He looked adorable with his hair all messy and his big eyes only half open.   
“Good morning, darling! Did you sleep well?”, he kissed him at the corner of his mouth.  
“Yes, very well actually. You too?”  
“Can't remember when I last slept this well.”  
Paul smiled and snuggled closer, laying his head on the older one's chest.   
John felt his forehead.  
“Your fever doesn't seem to be this bad anymore.”, he said relieved. “How do you feel otherwise?”  
“Good. A lot better than yesterday.”, Paul smiled. And it was true. Though he still felt quiet weak and his stomach was a bit upset he really was better than the whole last week. Only his ass still hurt pretty much.   
“Do you feel nausea? Because the previous mornings you always got sick.”, John looked at him with concern, carefully caressing his tummy.   
“Stop worrying so much, Johnny, I will be all right.”  
“So your stomach does still hurt!”  
Paul sighed, “Only a bit and I guess, after throwing up this often it's absolutely normal.”  
Well, John had to agree on that, which didn't mean he would just stop worrying.   
“Do you want to eat something then? Maybe it would help your tummy to settle down.”  
Paul thought about it. He really wasn't fancy of throwing up again. But would he be able to keep it?  
“Maybe just some dry toast if you have?”  
“Of course!”  
John immediately turned around and sat up to put on some sweatpants.   
Paul in the meanwhile wanted to get up too but a wave of dizziness overcame him and he had to blink a few times. Still not utterly steady he tried to stand up from the bed but a piercing pain in his bum made him hiss and he stumbled.  
“Macca!”, John who hadn't noticed his friend's attempts of standing up, because he had been turning his back on him, now ran to the younger one and helped him up.   
“What the hell were you doing?!”, he sat him back on the bed which made Paul hiss again.  
John saw he was in pain and pushed him into a laying position.  
“Better?”, he asked gently and sighed.  
Paul nodded.   
“Sorry. I just tried to stand up, but then I got dizzy and my legs just gave in.”, he explained.  
“It's all right. You don't have to stand up. I will bring up the toast. Like I said before, you won't leave this bed today.”  
“I’d hoped you would have forgotten this stupid idea by now.”, Paul sighed.  
“Sorry to break it to you but I haven't”, John grinned at him and gave him a kiss on top of his nose. “I'll be back in a minute. Just stay here and don't try anything. Otherwise I have to tie you to bed and I'm afraid you wouldn't appreciate that.”  
Paul had no other choice than to give himself beaten.   
It didn't take long till John was back with a cup of tea and a few dry toasts.  
While Paul started to eat carefully John decided to give the other two Beatles a call.  
“John?”, he heard Ringo's voice.  
“No the queen of England.”, John said in his best posh voice, making Paul giggle softly.  
“Are you two all right? Is he awake? What about his temperature?”, he asked, ignoring John's joke.  
“Yes, everything's okay. Paul's all right so far too. His fever doesn't seem to be so high any more.”  
“Can we speak with him?”, George asked. Apparently he was standing close to Ringo to listen in.  
“What? You don't believe me? Georgie, you really hurt my feelings!”  
“What do they want?”, Paul asked.   
“You.”, John laughed at Paul's puzzled look. “They want to speak with you, Princess.”  
Paul smiled as he heard his old nickname again. John hadn't used it since he'd told him about the rape.  
“Well, then give me the phone.”  
“Fine.”, John said to the other two, “But only because he wants to. And hurry a bit, I just got him to eat something.”, with this he gave the phone to Paul.  
“Hey, Ritchie, hey, Georgie!”, he endeavoured to sound as cheerful as always.   
“Hi, Paul. How are you?”  
“I'm fine, thanks. And you?”  
Ringo chuckled. That was Paul McCartney like they knew him. Bouncy and awfully polite.   
“We are fine too. So, John forced you to eat something?”  
“Yes, he did.”  
“Hang on, mate, we'll come over in… let's say two hours.”, Ringo wanted to give them a bit more time in private. After all they just got together so there would be many things to talk about and after he saw the way they had behaved yesterday he was almost certain talking with each other would involve kissing and cuddling and some heavy make out sessions.   
He really didn't mind, but that didn't mean he wanted to see them doing it.  
“Sounds great. See you later then. Johnny wants to speak with you.”  
“All right. Try to eat some more.”  
“I will. Goodbye, Ritchie! Bye, Georgie!”  
“Bye, Paul!”, George and Ringo replied.   
“Hey, lads. It's me again. Just wanted to let you know that I will get the rest of Paul's stuff when you come. Oh, and in the case I should forget later: Paul is not allowed to stand up or leave the bed let alone work. So if Brian tries to talk him into something again, fuck him.”  
“Well, I'm not going to fuck him, but I will tell him off definitely. I guess Paul is really appreciating his forced bed rest?”, Ringo wanted to know.  
“Of course he does! Right Macca?”  
“Save me!”, they could hear their friend on the other end of the phone in the background.   
Ringo chuckled, “Don't exaggerate it, John!”   
“Well, I have to agree with John on this. The lad needs a rest and we all know how hard it is to get him to take a break. On my behalf tie him onto the bed. When he's better he'll understand it was only for his best.”, George said.  
“Thanks, George, but I don't think that will be necessary.”   
“I think so too. So we see each other in two hours? You don't have to open the door, I still have the key you gave me two weeks ago. Just make sure you two are decent when we arrive. Wouldn't want to walk in on you again.”  
“I'll try my best, but I can't promise you anything.”  
Ringo rolled his eyes though he knew John couldn't see him.  
After they said their goodbyes John turned around to face Paul.  
“Well, we have full two hours. Do you have an idea what we could do?”, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at his younger friend, making him laugh and blush at he same time.   
“To be honest I feel a bit sticky. Could I take a shower?”  
John thought about it. He had been serious when he'd said Paul would spent all day in bed, but on the other site he wouldn't want Paul to be uncomfortable and maybe the hot shower would help him to gain a bit of his strength back.  
“Would a bath be okay too? You could lay down in the meantime. I guess it wouldn't make much of a difference if you're laying in a bathtub or a bed.”, John suggested.  
“Whatever you say, Johnny.”, Paul smiled thankfully at him.  
“Fine. Wait here and I'll go and prepare everything.”  
John got up and made his way to the bathroom to let the water run in and adjust the temperature. He also roughed out some towels and got clean clothes for Paul from the bag Brian had brought them two days ago and had been completely forgotten.   
When everything was ready he went back to his bedroom to find Paul still laying well-behaved in the bed.   
“Good boy!”, he praised him, “All right. Don't even try to get up, I will carry you.”  
Paul sighed resignedly. “I already thought you would say something like this.”  
John grinned and slung his arms around the younger one's knees and back and raised him from the mattress.   
“How can you lift me up so easily?”, Paul asked in amazement when John made his way with him to the bathroom. “Am I not too heavy for you?”  
“You could never be too heavy for me, but you have thinned down much recently, I noticed. It makes carrying you easier but we have to get you back to normal again as soon as possible anyway.”, he explained.  
When they arrived, John sat Paul down onto the toilette seat which made him hiss in pain.  
“Sorry!”, the older one apologized immediately.  
“Not your fault.”, Paul reassured him.  
“Can I take off your shorts?”, he asked, making his boyfriend blush furiously.  
“Er, yes, go ahead!”, his cheeks turned even redder when John slowly undressed him.   
“Y’all right there, mate?”  
“Of course. Everything's fine. Just a bit cold.”  
“Well, let's get you into the hot water then.”, he said, lifting him up and carrying him to the bathtub, careful not to accidentally brush one of Paul's intimate parts. He didn't plan on making him even more uncomfortable than he already was.  
When Paul was successfully seated in the warm water John began running a cloth over his arms and chest like he did the day before.   
Paul looked up at him, but the second he looked back he turned away. Paul opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it again.  
“What's on your mind, Macca dear?”, John asked.  
“Wouldyouliketojoinme?”  
“Sorry, Paulie, what did you just say?”, John hadn't understand a thing.   
Paul blushed deeply, but lifted his head up and looked him in the eyes this time when he repeated his question: “Would you like to join me?”  
John was a little surprised at first. He hadn't expect this.  
“You don't have to, of course, I just thought you may want to...”, Paul stuttered.  
A grin crept up John's lips.   
“Don't be daft! Of course I'd love to! But only if it's okay for you?”  
Paul nodded and John began to undress. The younger Beatle watched him at first, but when John came to his boxers he quickly looked away, face reddening again.  
“You know, you can watch me if you want. I don't mind.”, John said, stepping into the tub and slid down behind his Macca.   
“Okay.”, he whispered and John began to message his back and shoulders slightly. Paul leaned into the touch a bit hesitantly.   
“It's all right. Just lean in on me.”, John reassured him and Paul felt himself relax slowly while obeying.   
He was sitting between the older one's legs by now close enough he could sense John's soft cook and his thighs against his own back and though feeling his friend's prick this near his entrance made him a bit nervous, he couldn't say the whole thing was utterly uncomfortable.   
“Is this okay for you?”, maybe John could sense his slight uneasiness.  
“Yes. I trust you.”  
The older Beatle instantly knew what Paul was talking about.   
“And you're right about it. Just try to relax a bit more.”   
John slung his arms around him and caressed his chest and tummy while kissing and nibbling on his neck gently.   
“What are you doing?”, Paul whispered, eyelids half closed and fully at ease by now.  
“I make you feel good, Paulie!”  
“Yes, you do.”  
After a few minutes John took a short break only to continue with a cloth running up and down Paul's belly before sliding further southwards.   
Paul didn't so much as tense when John started to wash his thighs and brushed his cock with his cloth covered hand.   
“Sorry.”, he mumbled while resisting the urge to keep stroking till his friend was hard and ready to explode submerge and then making him come all over his hand.   
But he knew he couldn't do that. Not now. Their actual situation had nothing to do with sex. At least not for Paul and if he knew what John had thought when he'd undressed him or how he looked at him right now, the poor lad would get an anxiety attack instantly.  
John knew that someday their would might come a time when Paul was ready for all this and would long to feel John's hand squeezing and stroking his manhood till he'd climax, but this would take time. Maybe just weeks or months, but more likely years until Paul would get over what happened to him enough to let anyone do something like this to him without fear and flashbacks.  
” 's okay”, the younger one muttered. John could hear how weary his voice sounded and chuckled.   
“You're not going to fall asleep on me right now, are you?”  
“Wouldn't dare to, Johnny!”, he mumbled and let his head fall back on John's chest, looking up at him with sleepy eyes.  
“Well, let's get you out of here, then. I guess the bed is more comfy if you want to sleep.”  
“Who says that I want to sleep?”, Paul asked but he didn't sound too convincingly due to the huge yawn which followed quickly.   
John laughed again.   
“C'mon, dear!”, he said and rose.   
Then, he helped up Paul and got him out of the tub.  
Paul blushed when he found himself naked next to an equally nude John Lennon. He quickly averted his eyes and tried to look anywhere but John. Why? There wasn't a reason to be embarrassed. Yesterday they had wanked each other. He had made him come and lately the older one had seen him -how did he put it?- 'in all states of dressed and undressed'.  
But they hadn't been naked at the same time and though Paul slowly got used to John seeing him... well, like this, he hadn't seen him in his... birthday suit in ages. Even when he had touched his cock, he hadn't paid much attention to it, he was more focused on John's face and the kiss.   
“It's all right, Paulie, you don't have to be embarrassed. It's only you and me. I don't have anything to hide from you, so don't look away.”, he laid his fingers under the younger one's chin and made him face him.   
“Sorry”, Paul muttered.   
“Don't be. You only have to get used to this again. That's all.”   
John pushed him gently onto the toilette seat and began to dry him with a towel. When he had finished he helped him into the underwear he had put out before.  
“Why am I tired again? I mean I practically just woke up.”, Paul asked.  
“Well, after all the stress you had lately in addition to your concussion and the fever it doesn't surprise me at all. Your body just needs more rest to recover from everything. I guess after another few hours of sleeping your temperature will be gone and you'll feel much stronger.”, John explained while he slung a towel around his waist and lifted Paul up to carry him bridal style back to bed.  
“I can really walk on my own!”, Paul protested but without success.  
John laid down with Paul in his arms and rolled around so that he was lying on his back and Paul on his chest and pulled the covers about them.   
“Comfy?”, John grinned tightening his grip around Paul's waist and back.  
“Absolutely!”, Paul answered, snuggling up to John's broad chest.   
John nuzzled his hair and gave him a kiss.  
Because Paul didn't fell immediately asleep like John had thought, they started talking. They spoke about everything which came to their mind in the exact moment, including music and the early days.  
“Haven't done that in a long time. You know, just talking.”, John stated during a short break.  
“Yeah, I missed that.”, Paul glanced uneasily at the clock.   
“Are you nervous because of Geo and Rings coming over in half an hour?”, the older one asked.  
“No, I just thought that maybe you should drive now if you still want to get my stuff because, you know how the traffic is in the afternoon.”, Paul bit his lip.   
“Are you trying to get rid off of me?”, John chuckled.  
“What? No, of course not! I just thought you... never mind. Unless, of course you don't trust me enough to let me on my own for twenty minutes.”, it wasn't like he didn't enjoy John's company, he really did. Same with George and Ringo, but he hadn't been alone in a couple of days by now and he craved for a few minutes with no one around him. No one that worried about him. Plus the traffic really was bad because you had to drive through downtown which could be very crowded in the afternoon.  
John knew this as well and though he didn't want to leave his friend he could understand why Paul would appreciate a few minutes on his own. He himself would freak out if someone'd surround him all the time, especially in this kind of situation. Paul wasn't to blame for this.   
“I do trust you, Paulie, really. You know what? You're right. I will drive now, so I won't get stuck into a traffic jam.”, John gave him a kiss on top of his head and got up to dress himself.  
When he was ready (Paul had tried not to stare too much at his naked friend), John turned around to face him.   
“Do you need something before I go? Food? Drink? Something to read? Do you have to use the loo?”  
The younger one tried to hide his blush and shook his head. “I'm good.”  
“Fine. Remember, Ringo has a key so there's no reason for you to get up. Shall I get you something in particular?”, he asked.  
“Could you bring me my guitar, please? And maybe a book or two?”  
“Of course, darling, but don't forget, I said no work today.”, John smiled at him affectionately.  
“How could I ever forget that?”, he rolled his eyes at him playfully.  
“If something's wrong, you can call me over your phone at home. Oh, and I'll ask Rings and George if you behaved or tried to stand up.”  
John kissed him goodbye and enjoyed the sweet taste of the younger one's mouth for a short moment.  
“I love you.”, he whispered.  
“I love you, too.” Paul whispered.   
“And you're sure, you'll get along-”  
“Yes, Johnny! I'm totally sure!”, Paul chuckled.  
“Fine, see you later then. I'll hury!”, John gave him another kiss, before he left the room. Little later Paul heard how the front door got closed.   
He let his head fall back on the pillows and began to let his mind wander. How should he act with the others around? What had John told them? How much did they know? Would they ask him questions about the rape?


	19. Brian fucks up

He woke up from a loud ring. He couldn't tell how much time had passed or how long he had slept. He rubbed his eyes when it rung a second time. Who could this be?   
George and Ringo had a key. John was still away to get his things. He suppressed a shudder and stood up on wobbly legs. Maybe his boyfriend just forgot the keys for his flat and came back, realising he hadn't brought his own keys in the belief he wouldn't need them because their friends would be there and had already opened the door. Or he simply forgot he'd maybe need them. This would be typically for John.   
He briefly pondered if this could be a test, you know, to control if he'd really stayed in bed, but shook his head quickly. No, John wouldn't do such a thing. He wouldn't risk he got up and may hurt himself while trying to get downstairs.   
Paul grabbed a bathrobe which laid upon a chair at the other end of the room (since when did John Lennon own such a thing as a bathroom? Probably he had nicked it from some fancy hotel just for fun) and wrapped it around himself just in case it was someone else than John. Slowly he made his way to the front door, though he still felt pretty weak.   
He opened the door. It wasn't John.  
“Hello, Paul.”  
“Hello, Eppy.”, Paul was really surprised to see his manager standing in front of him.   
“How are you? You look better than you did yesterday.”  
“I feel indeed better.”, his eyes fell on a man standing behind Brian.   
“How impolite of me! Paul, this is Mr. Maxwell O'malley. He's an old friend of mine. Is John there?”  
“Oh, hi.”, he shook Mr. O'malley's hand, who smiled and nodded approvingly at him. He were a tad taller than himself and a few years older. His hair was deep black and his eyes dark brown. His face wasn't unpleasant and Paul had no trouble believing Brian and he had some fun together (after all they all knew what “old friend” meant). “John's at mine to get a few things.”  
“Very well. May we come in?”, Brian asked.  
“Oh, sorry, of course.”, Paul stepped aside to let the two of them in, He was confused. What did Brian want? And why was he bringing this stranger along? His first thought was, that he was from police, but he didn't looked like a policeman. Plus John had told him everything about the conversation they had and Brian'd agreed with not telling anyone  
“Shall we take a seat then? You don't look like you're supposed to walk around much. I hope we didn't wake you up?”, Brian asked, walking over to the couch.   
“Er, no, you didn't.”, Paul answered still looking suspiciously at the strange man in the floor.  
“Glad to hear this.”, he indicated him and Mr. O'malley to have a seat. Paul sat hesitantly down onto the big armchair with some troubles (his butt hurt still) while the other man took a seat beside Brian.   
“Maybe you're wondering what this is all about.”, Brian began, “Well, I know the situation you're in and how hard it is for you. John told me you were in pain, but didn't want to go to hospital, because it's, you know, kind of a delicate problem. So, I called my old friend Dr. O'malley, because he's quiet familiar with the consequences of... well, penetration. He'll examine you.”  
Paul had become redder and redder at Brian's explanation and now he looked at him horrified.   
“Sorry, but you have to go now. John will be very mad when he comes back and sees I'm not in bed.”  
“Paul, I can see how this is troubling you. Just let him have a look at you.”, Brian choose to ignore his previous plea and the Doctor stood up and made a step forward.  
“I often have patients who are too shy or embarrassed to let me examine them, though it's necessary. You just have to relax. I won't hurt you and it'll not only help you to get better, it will also make sure this guy will go to prison for what he did to you, because I can testify you were raped-”, a bump with the elbow kept him from continuing.  
“What he's trying to say is that we are worried about your well-being. The others can't understand the kind of pain you're feeling, simply because they've never been in such a position themselves, so they underestimate it, but this isn't something you should underestimate, believe me.”, Brian tried to explain.  
But Paul couldn't really follow him. He was so confused and this stranger didn't stop approaching him.   
“He's right. It's only for your best.”  
“Stop this! I don't want anyone to touch me! I'll decide what's the best for me!”, he felt himself shivering. The whole situation reminded him of Pete Best and how he wasn't able to let another intervention into his intimacy happen. What was Brian thinking?  
Without noticing he'd retreated more and more and now he felt his back hitting the wall. Panic threatened to take him over.   
“Calm down, Paul! Nobody's going to hurt you! Just stop moving!”  
“Very funny! Pete said almost the same to me before he turned me around and raped me!”, Paul yelled.   
“We are not him.”, the doctor told him and reached out for him. “All I want to do is to examine you. Brian will wait in front of the door if you should be uncomfortable with him being in here, but I will definitely have to look at you! If necessary he'll keep hold of you!”  
Paul was white as chalk and with this stranger touching him he just lost it and started to scream.  
Brian was shocked and looked nervously at the door.   
Dr. O'malley kept Paul's mouth shut and dragged him to the couch, pushing him into a laying position. Paul struggled and tried to escape but his body was still too weak and the man was pretty strong. Probably used to holding down his patients and impose them his sake.   
“I don't know if this is a good idea, Max. He looks like he's in pain-”, Brian wasn't sure about this at all anymore.   
“I thought we spoke about this before. He'll be grateful for it later. He's not the first one who is a bit unsure and too modest to let me examine him. Victims of rape always react a bit irrational at the beginning but we don't have enough time till he has pulled himself together again. You can't really blame him for being emotional, that's why we don't have another choice. Don't you understand? He can't allow himself the weakness to let anybody touch him in certain areas again, even if he'd be all right with it in general. So, he needs the knowledge it wasn't his decision and he did everything to keep his dignity!”, he untied the bathrobe the younger one was wearing with one hand and gave the girdle to Brian.   
“Believe me, I have a lot of experiences as doctor and you know me. Trust me. And now help and rope his hands but not too tight. We don't want to hurt him.”  
Brian still looked insecure, but he did as he was told.   
“Sorry, Paul, but he'll help you.”, he whispered after he finished.  
Paul in the meantime had started to cry. He couldn't quiet grasp what was going on. The fever still made him feel dizzy and he felt like either throwing up or fainting. Maybe both.   
Everything he knew was that there were two men above him, tying him down and undressing him. Like Pete. He didn't want this! Where was John? He cried harder when he felt how the bathrobe were pulled away from him, exposing way too much bare skin.   
Cold fingers were laid on his hips and began to turn him around, tugging at the hem of his boxers. No! Stop this!, he wanted to scream but the hand of his managers was still firmly pressed against his lips. John, where are you?

John hummed the melody of Any Time at All. Paul had been right to suggest to go earlier. He had driven the route in record time and now he was almost at home. Only a few minutes and he'd see Paul again. He smiled dumbly. It was crazy how much he looked forward to the moment he'd pull his Macca into his arms and kiss his sweet face again (and yes, he meant not only his plump lips, but also his cute nose, his forehead and rosy cheeks, in other words his whole face). He was in love, he guessed. Simply in love.   
Wait! What the-  
John braked immediately, making the car stop next to George and Ringo who were walking on the pavement talking to each other.  
“What are you two doing here?! Why aren't you with Paul?”  
“John? Well, we could ask you the same thing. We are on our way to your house. Mal called us at the hotel because of our cars still standing in front of the studio. That's why we're late. We thought you'd stay with Paul till we arrive.”, Ringo explained while climbing into the car, immediately followed by George.  
“I wanted to, but then Paul reminded me of how bad the traffic is in the afternoon, so I drove 20 minutes before you were supposed to arrive.”  
John drove as fast as he could the last few hundred meters to his house. Hopefully Paul had fallen asleep and didn't notice nobody was there. He tried to relax a bit. His friend would be fine. He'd enjoy to have more time for himself and sure as hell he would-  
“Look! Isn't this Eppy's car?”  
John's eyes fell on a black car, standing in front of his house which indeed belonged to their manager.   
“Is this good or bad?”, Ringo asked a bit unsure. John pondered about the same question. What did Brian here, anyway?  
“I have no idea.”  
And with this the three lads jumped out the car and ran to the house.   
The door wasn't locked, which wasn't much of a surprise.


	20. The boys can rescue Paul who's absolutely done in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you forall you nice comments again! I know it sounds a little unlogical at first but like some of you already pointed out: For this time it probably isn't so unlogical at all!   
> I'm sure though that something like this could actually happen today if doctors wouldn't fear the consequences of their doing. I mean surely they've seen so many People they wanted to help (especially rape victims or victims of violence) but couldn't because they wouldn't allow them to.  
> Paul was too scared to go to a doctor and Brian knew John would support his decision (after all they're straight men and it would be absolutely humiliating for others to know about it, no matter that he was forced), so contacted a friend who he thought would know what to do and this friend had seen so many victims he couldn't help so he started doing what he thought would be the best.  
> Brian didn't want tis to happen, he only wanted to help and who could probably help better than someone who had studied to aid people like Paul. It was too late when he realized how wrong he was and what he did to him.

Paul still struggled and tried to hide his intimate area. Brian let go of his mouth (there was no one near enough to hear them anyway) and started to stroke his hair in a comforting way. He felt miserably for doing something like this, especially because Paul obviously didn't want it and was scared. But it was the right thing to do, he knew.   
He tried to keep his gaze on the younger one's face instead of the lower (now fully exposed) part of the boys anatomy. He didn't succeed completely, though.  
Paul was still crying and by now it was more out of shame and fear than anything else.   
“Just let me go! Stop touching me! Please, I don't want this!”, he yelled, but neither of them did stop.  
“It's all right, Paul!”, Brian whispered soothingly.  
The Doctor remained silent and cupped his buttocks, making his cheeks burn in crimson.   
Paul tried desperately to get away when the stranger applied Vaseline on his finger and made a move to push him inside of Paul. He fought so hard he almost pushed himself and Brian off the couch. Almost.   
“WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!”   
Paul couldn't tell what was happening. In a split of a second Brian and the doctor were ripped off of him. He looked up and saw his friends. John and George had grabbed the two and started yelling and beating the men.   
He couldn't understand much, only phrases like “What the hell were you doing?!”, or “I'm going to kill you!”.  
Brian was obviously in panic now and begged John to let him explain everything and how he had only wanted to help, which made his boyfriend even more angry and without thinking much he threw himself onto Brian, making them tumble onto the ground.   
Dr. O'malley had a hard time with the youngest Beatle too. George was much stronger than people would expect him to be.  
“What have you done to my mate?!”  
“I'm a doctor! I only tried to examine him!”  
“Against his bloody will?! Sounds more like rape to me!”  
Paul rolled from the couch. He didn't feel in the condition to stand up, so he just crawled (which wasn't too easy with the rope around his wrists either) as far from the scene as possibly.   
He stopped at the wall, because he was too exhausted to get any further. He pressed his legs against his chest and laid his head on the knees while he started sobbing unstoppable.   
Ringo who had just been standing there confusedly ran to Paul now.   
He didn't know what had happened before but his friend definitely needed their help right now.   
“Paul! Hey, Paulie! It's all right!”, he laid a hand on his shoulder but the younger lad flinched.  
“Shhh... it's just me!”, he tried to sooth him. “Wait a second!”  
He got the bathrobe lying in front of the couch.   
“Okay, I will undo the girdle now.”, he reached out for Paul's arms who were slung around his knees and untied the fetters.  
Paul looked up with tear-covered eyes.  
“I'm fine.”, he managed, “Keep John and George from killing them.”  
“No, you're not and I couldn't care less about them. Come on, let me help you with this.”, Ringo adjusted Paul's boxers, so he wouldn't be so exposed any more.   
Paul blushed, realising he had been naked till now and started to cry again.  
“I'm so sorry.”, Ringo apologized (he didn’t know what for and neither did Paul but it didn’t really matter anyway) and helped the dark haired one into the bathrobe laying an arm around his shoulder. Paul leaned into the touch.   
“Would you tell me what happened?”, the older one asked.   
Paul felt suddenly very nausea. He got up quickly and ran as fast as he could in his condition (which was pretty slow) to the sink in the kitchen.   
He bent over just in time and threw up noisily. Ringo entered the kitchen shortly behind him and saw how his mate had problems to stand. He held him up and steadied him while petting his back calming.   
“Where's John?”, Paul whispered between two heaves.   
“I'll go get him. Can you stand by yourself for a minute?”  
Paul nodded and Ringo went out quickly, dragging John away from Brian.  
“Let me be, Rings, he deserves it for everything he'd done to Paul!”  
“I can't disagree with you on this, but Paul needs you right now.”  
John's eyes widened. He was so angry he had almost forgotten.   
“Where is he?”  
“In there.”, Ringo pointed at the kitchen. “Better hurry up. I don't know how long his legs will make it. I wouldn't have left him, but he asked for you.”  
John practically ran into the kitchen.  
“Better say your last prayer.”, Ringo told Brian who stood a few feet away panting. 

“Paulie?”  
John entered the kitchen where Paul was still doing his best not to fall down. He tried to turn around but started to gag again immediately.   
“Fuck, Paulie! I'm so sorry!”, he apologized and slung his arms around him from behind.   
When Paul had finished he threw himself into John's arms crying.  
The older one wrapped his arms tightly around him and kissed his head.  
“Oh darling, everything's going to be all right! Believe me, I'll never let one of them near you again and they'll pay for what they did.”, he promised, “Come on, I'll carry you upstairs.”   
“N-No. Don't want to s-see them again.”, Paul whispered, burying his face into the crook of John's neck.   
“They won't hurt you again!”, John promised giving him a glass of water and held it up for Paul to drink. “Just close your eyes, hold onto me and I'll get you through this without you seeing them, yeah?”  
Paul looked still a bit insecure, but nodded.   
“A-and you're sure they won't do this again? What if they try to tear me away from your arms and- and-?”, his breathing hitched.  
“I'll protect you! I won't let them near you and George and Rings will be there too to keep them away from you! They won't ever touch you again!”  
Tears kept streaming down his pretty face as John lifted him up at his waist and Paul slung his legs around his boyfriend's middle, keeping his face hidden.   
John went to the door holding his body pressed against his own.  
“Ready?”, he asked. Paul nodded fainting.   
They were greeted with a furious Ringo, who was yelling at their manager and a very very furious George pinning the doctor down and screaming at him all kind of insults.   
When Ringo noticed the two he approached them immediately.   
“Hey.”, he said softly. “How is he?”  
“Not good.”, John answered. “I'm taking him up with me.”  
“What shall we do about them?”, the older one wanted to know.  
“I don't know. But we can't let them go, at least not while we don't know exactly what they did to him.”  
“You're right, take him up. I'll lock the door and the windows, then George and I'll come up to you and we talk, all right?”  
“Fine. Just make sure none of them comes upstairs with you. Because otherwise I’M GOING TO BREAK THEIR NECKS!”, during the last sentence John raised his voice and looked directly at Brian.   
“John, Paul, please! Just let me explain it! I never wanted to hurt him! I just tried to help!”  
Paul held onto John tighter, when he heard Brian's voice and sobbed silently into the other one's shoulder.  
“Fuck of, Eppstein! You're scaring the hell out of him! If you should ever try to touch him again, I swear I'll kill you!”  
John ignored Brian's pleas and brought his boyfriend upstairs.  
He climbed into the bed and leaned against the headboard, cradling Paul in his arms.  
“Hey, darling.”, he whispered gently. “Would you tell me what they did to you?”  
Paul stopped sobbing and looked up at him.   
“I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't have opened the door! I just thought-”  
“Shhh! It's all right! Just tell me.”  
“O-okay, I... I was asleep when the doorbell rang. I didn't know how long I had slept and I thought maybe it was you or George and Ringo, who forgot the key. I put on the robe to open the door, but it was Brian and this friend of him... I let them in,” small sobs interrupted him now and then, “we sat on the ouch. Then Brian told me about his “old friend” and how he was there to examine me. I didn't want him to. They- they kept saying it was for my best when they undressed me and tied my hands together, but I still wouldn't let them, so they held me down. I panicked. I didn't want this, you have to believe me! B-but they didn't stop! When I started screaming Brian kept my mouth shut and they took of the robe and pulled my underwear down, and- and I felt so exposed!”, he sobbed, “This doctor tried to... insert his finger when you came in and knocked them down!”  
“Oh, darling! I'm so sorry I left you alone. We'll better look for a new manager, cause I'm going to kill the old one!”, he wrapped his arms around the younger one.  
“Will-”, Paul hesitated, “Will George and Ritchie come up too?”, he looked through tear stained eyes up at John.  
“Yeah, they should be here in a few minutes. What's the matter, luv? Do you don't want to face them?”, he stroked his hair soothingly, while Paul kept crying in silent.  
“Yes, no, I just- I'm scared, because George was so angry and what if they take Brian and this doctor up with them?”, he buried his head into John's shirt.  
“Believe me, he's not angry with you. I'll talk to him. And I already told Rings not to let one of them near you. I'm here with you and I keep you safe.”  
Paul held onto John as if his life would depend on it.  
Someone knocked at the door.


	21. His friends are trying to comfort Paul

“Who's there?”, John asked without letting go of Paul.  
“It's me and George. “, he heard Ringo's voice, “Are we allowed to enter?”  
“Is this okay for you?”, John asked.  
Paul didn't answer but John could feel him nodding his head.  
“Yeah, come in.”  
As the two entered they were greeted with the sight of their friends sitting on the bed and hugging each other. Or better John holding Paul while the younger lad sobbed into his shoulder and hold onto him for dear life, still wearing nothing but the boxers and the bathrobe which hang loosely around his shoulders.   
“Er, hey guys!”, Ringo said awkwardly. “How are you feeling, Paulie?”   
Paul didn't look up, instead he cried even harder. John gave him a glance, trying to explain the situation and that Paul's rejection was not because of him. But Ringo understood immediately.  
He sat on the edge of the bed, George stood closely by his side.   
“Hey, Paul.”, he said, “We locked them into the living room. They won't get out before we let them, if we let them at all. You're safe.”, he slowly started to pat his back. First he felt him tense up, but after a moment he relaxed.   
George still stood awkwardly beside the bed, watching his friends. He was just too angry to sit down next to Rings. His eye felt hot and hurt like hell from the blow that had gotten him there but he couldn't care less. He was so angry the pain actually felt good. Everything he wanted was to go down and continue beating the crap out of those bastards who dared to lay hand on sweet innocent Macca.   
Plus, he had never been good in situation in which he had to comfort or calm someone down.   
Just like John. But apparently this had changed with getting together with his best friend.   
After a few minutes Paul had stopped crying and sat up. John wiped the tears from his face with his thumb and kissed his face gently. Paul managed a broken smile, before he turned around to face the others. He gasped when his eyes fell on George.  
“George! What the heck happened with your eye?!”, he looked at him with big shocked eyes.  
“Oh this! You should see the other guy! I probably broke his-”, but he got interrupted from Paul wrapping his arms around his neck in a crushing hug.   
“Thanks.”, he whispered only for him to hear.   
Ringo smiled. This was typical for Paul.  
John first looked a bit jealous, but soon he smiled too at the scene in front of him.   
Paul pulled away and examined his friend's black eye. Carefully he touched the area around it which caused George to grimace in pain.   
“Oh dear, he got you hard here!”  
“Well, not as hard as he got you!”, George answered, making Paul blush and obviously uncomfortable.   
“Hey, I got hurt by the fight with Brian too. My injury is just a little lower. Would you like to have a look?”, John tried to loosen the mood with a joke.  
Paul, still having a fever and being a little distracted didn't get the hint.  
The other two grinned as John looked at him sincerely, taking his fingers and guiding them down to his crotch.   
“There.”, he whispered.  
“John!”, Paul pulled his hand away as if he got burned and blushed deeply.   
George and Ringo died laughing, while John looked at him with his most innocent look.  
“Maybe it would get better if you kiss it.”  
“John! No!”, Paul laughed while his face was still bright red.   
“Pretty please! Just one kiss from that magic lips of yours would cure my woe forever!”  
“Rings! Help me! Tell him to stop!”, Paul begged, suppressing an embarrassed laugh.  
“But, Paulie, why don't you want to kiss my pain away? Don't you want me to feel good? I can kiss you first, If you'd like to!”  
“Okay, John, that's enough!”, George laughed when John made a move to bent over and kiss his friend below his navel, “Otherwise, you'll make Ritchie jealous. You know, he wants some attention too.”  
“Well, then give him some. I'm quiet busy with little Paulie here.”, John answered.  
“Okay, that's enough, lads!”, Ringo cut in, “As much as I'd like to get my hands on one of you, I think we have some far more important topics to speak about.”, he glanced at Paul, who looked at John, searching for mental support.   
John wrapped his arms around Paul from behind and pulled him onto his lap.   
“Paul,”, George started gently which surprised the other three, “What have they done to you?”  
Paul closed his eyes and pressed his lips together firmly, shaking his head a brief moment, before looking at his friends.   
“I told John already, that I slept when the bell rang and I opened the door because I thought it was one of you. I let him in and he introduced me to his... “friend”. Till then everything seemed quiet normal, but suddenly they started with talking about examining me. I told him I didn't want one of them to touch me and said it would be better if they'd just leave. But they didn't listen to me. They held me down and tied my hands and- well, you know the rest.”  
John held him closer.  
“Paul, how- how far did they... go?”, Ringo didn't really know how to put his question and hoped the younger one would understand. He did apparently, cause his cheeks flushed furiously.   
“Er, well, you know just- he just tried to- and he got pretty far, but then you interrupted and- and-”  
“Shhh! It's okay. That's enough, Macca, you don't have to say more.”, John whispered into his ear, making him relax a bit.   
“And did they hurt you? Physically, I mean?”, Ringo asked further.   
“Well, it did hurt when they pushed me down and tied and undressed me, while I tried to get away, but mostly it was panic, I guess.”  
George clenched his hands into fists.   
“I swear to god I'm going to kill these bastards!”, he yelled. “Who gave them the right?! What let them think it would be all right to do something like this?!”  
Paul flinched at George's outburst.  
“George, calm down!”, John warned him, wrapping an arm protectively around his boyfriend's chest.   
“What? It's true after all! I bet this sick pervert cunt just wanted to have a look at his-”  
“GEORGE!”, John and Ringo yelled in unison.   
George looked down and noticed Paul's wide scared eyes.   
“Sorry, Paul. I didn't mean to scare you.”, he apologized.  
“It's okay.”, Paul murmured, pressing himself closer against John.  
“So, what are we going to do now?”, Ringo asked, “I don't think we should just let them go. After all they could try it again.”  
“Well, we could let them in there forever. We have enough money now to pay the rent for the rest of ours, or better their lives.”,   
“Which won't be too long if we don't give them something to eat or drink.”  
“All the better!”  
“What do you think, Paulie?”  
Paul was the only one who had remained silent till now. He didn't really know what to think. The thought about facing the two men who had exposed and humiliated him so much wasn't tempting at all. Neither was he keen of hearing any explanations or how important it was that he'd let this doctor examine him.   
“Paulie?”, John asked, squeezing his shoulder encouragingly.  
“I don't know, but we can't hold them prisoner much longer. It's illegal.”, Paul answered and looked down.   
“I couldn't care less. What they did to you was illegal too and Brian wouldn't dare going to police. Hell, even if he did, we are the bloody Beatles! We could commit a murder and no law court would sentence us!”  
“John! That doesn't make it all right!”, Paul exclaimed.   
“Don't always be so self-righteous, Macca. They deserve it.”  
Paul sighed, “John...!”  
“Paul's right. We can't let them in your living room forever, as much as I'd like to.”, Ring supported him.   
“Yeah, but we can't let them out either!”, It was no surprise George sided with John on this.  
“Why?”, Paul inhaled deeply. It wasn't easy and certainly not what he wanted, but he knew it was the right and the most reasonable thing to do.   
“What do you mean 'why'? After everything they did and the way they frightened you, you just want to let them go?”, George couldn't believe it.  
“Georgie, please...”, Paul rubbed his eyes tiredly, “All I'm trying to say is: what other option do we have? We can't lock them away forever and I don't like the thought of being in the same house as them.”  
George opened his mouth and closed it again. He glanced at John, looking for help.  
“You sure you really want this, Macca? Cause we can find another option. I would gladly beat the crap out of this perverts for hurting you.”  
“Thanks, but... I think it would be the best if they'd just go and don't come back for a while.”, Paul explained.  
“For a while? I won't let one of them near you ever again!”, John was in his 'protective mood' again.  
“You do know that Brian's our manager, right?”  
“Not for much longer. I don't want him to be around you, especially when you two are alone.”  
“First, you exaggerate it, Johnny. Secondly, we can't just fire him. Like you pointed out before, we are the Beatles. There'd be a scandal and the press wouldn't stop asking questions.”, Paul was slightly panic-struck to say the least. He didn't want to imagine what would happened if people would start to snoop around and found out his little secret. What would they say if they got to know that someone had raped him? They would freak out. He remembered being ill a few month ago and how the masses went wild about it. None of them could so much as sneeze any more without finding it in the newspapers the next day.   
Ringo noticed how much this seemed to upset the younger one. He could imagine what Paul was thinking and how much it had to scare him.   
“C'mon, John, we can speak about this in a few days when everything has settled down. Now I suggest, we go down and talk with them, before we let them go.”  
Paul sighed and tried to get up. John held him down gently.  
“Not you! You stay here and lay down again like the good boy you are. Ringo will stay here too and keep an eye on you.”  
Paul rolled his eyes at him.   
“No way I'll let you and George alone with them. It would be far more humane to just kill them, you know.”   
“Well, we can set this up, you know.”, George grinned manically.  
“Fine,”, John said, “I'll stay here with you then and Ringo goes down with George. Satisfied?”  
“Not really, but I can live with it.”, Paul snuggled closer to John.   
“Good. You okay with this too?”  
Ringo nodded.  
“Fine, tell them if one of them should ever lay his hands on Macca again, I'll cut of their pricks and stuff them into their asses deep enough they won't get them out ever again. Oh, and I'll take their balls too and-”  
“Okay, John, that's enough! Please don't say this to them!”, Paul begged.  
“Oh, we're definitely going to say this!”, George grinned.  
Paul looked at the oldest with pleading eyes.  
“I don't think I can keep him from threatening. To be honest I hope I can prevent him from actually getting a knife and cutting off their genitals.”  
“Well, you can be glad if I use a knife for this!”  
“John, please let me go down with them!”, Paul begged, making puppy dog eyes.  
“Don't look at me like this, Macca. It’s not going to work this time. You and I will stay here, so I can make sure nobody's going to hurt you again.”  
“John's right. You stay and we 'talk' with them!”, George said before he and Ringo got up and went to the door.  
“Just make sure to keep it quiet, will you?”, John asked. The other two answered just with a manically grin.   
“Okay, now I'm worried.”, Paul stated after the two were out of sight.  
“Don't be. Whatever George and Rings will do with them, they'll deserve it.”  
“I hope you're right.”  
“Believe me, I am.”, John took the blanket and wrapped it around Paul. “C'mon, let's lay you down again. You look tired.”  
“John...!”, Paul protested weakly when John pushed him down carefully. The older one kissed his face and laid next to him, slinging an arm protectively around his middle.   
Paul snuggled closer and laid his head on John's chest.  
“You okay?”, Lennon asked.  
“Sure, just... it was a hard day. And it's not even afternoon.”  
John chuckled.   
“Would you like to sleep a bit?”  
“Not really, no.”, Paul couldn't imagine he'd find any sleep as long as Brian and Dr. O'malley were still in the house.   
John kissed his forehead. “You're still too hot. I guess we have to keep you away from every kind of stress.”  
“That's not going to be easy.”, Paul chuckled.  
“Apparently not. But don't think I'd give up.”


	22. Watching TV

After a few minutes Paul was almost asleep. His head rested on John's shoulder, breathing warm air against his neck every now and then. The older one still held onto him and whispered sweet nothings into his ear.  
That was how George and Ringo found them when they came back. They tried to be as quiet as possible, but Paul's eyes fluttered open nonetheless and he sat up.  
“And,”, he asked weary, “how did it go?”  
“Well”, Ringo began, “they insisted that everything they did was for your best first, but George, let's say 'convinced' them they were wrong. We made Brian promise not to come back, at least not before we phone him. He even cried in the end, though I don't know if he did it because of what he'd done to you or because we caught him and he's probably going to loose a lot of money in the future if we decide to fire him.”  
“Don't think someone like Brian would cry over something like money. He has more than enough already.”, Paul didn't want the others to hate their manager. Of course he still felt hurt and humiliated in front of him and the thought of being alone with Brian caused his stomach to do some sickening flip flops, but he also knew they wouldn't get a better manager than him and how much the Beatles meant to him. He believed him when said he'd only tried to help.   
“Are they away now?”, John asked, not wanting to talk about this bastard of manager further.  
“Yeah, we locked the front door behind them.”, Ringo answered, much to John's relive, “I also searched in your kitchen for something to cook. Paul doesn't look like he'd eaten something decent in a couple of days, but I didn't find much, so I thought about going shopping. You know, he needs to eat proper if he wants to get better any time soon.”  
John looked at Paul, “Would you like to eat something?”  
Paul nodded a bit hesitantly. He didn't really feel like eating, but he knew Ringo was right and he didn't want John to continue worrying. Plus, he had to admit he didn't feel like throwing up at the bare thought of food any more.   
“Okay, go then. You can take my car. My wallet is in the pocket of my jacket.”  
“Shall I come with you?”, George offered.  
“Don't want to be alone with our lovebirds here, eh?”, Ringo joked.  
“No, not really. Who knows what John's up to if he's alone with Paul.”  
“Nothing your innocent eyes should see, Georgie, I can tell you this much!”, John grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, while Paul's face was coloured in every shade of red.  
“… Maybe we should take Paul with us then.”   
“Sorry, guys, but that's not going to happen. Bed rest, remember?”, John grinned.  
“Well, what should we say against such logic arguments? Have fun then, lads! And John, behave!”  
“But, you just said we shall have fun, Ritchie!”, John complained, making George laugh.   
“See you later, then.”, Ringo ignored John's last comment and vanished with George.   
“I guess, we're alone again.”, John whispered in the younger one's ear.  
“Yeah, just the two of us.”, Paul laid back again and snuggled into John's protective arms.   
“Try to sleep now, yeah? Brian and his doctor-friend are away and there's nothing you have to be scared of. When George and Rings come back we will eat something and after this you can go to sleep again or do whatever else you’d like to do as long as you can do it in bed, yeah?”  
Paul nodded and closed his eyes. It didn't take long till he was deeply asleep again.

It was dark outside when his eyes fluttered open again. He sensed someone's eyes laying on him and looked up sleepily.   
John smiled at him fondly and caressed his cheek affectionately.   
“Hey, sleepyhead!”  
“John? Did you watch me sleeping?”, Paul yawned.  
“Just for a couple of hours.”, John grinned, “You're cute when you're sleeping.”  
“This is a little bit scary.”  
“I know, but you love me anyway.”  
Paul laughed and sat up carefully, letting John support him. “Yeah, I do.”  
“The lads are downstairs. I think, they try to make something edible for us. Are you hungry?”, John asked.  
“A little.”, Paul lied, “How long did I sleep?”  
“About three hours. You feel any better?”  
“Yes, I do.”, he smiled.  
“Can I get you a tea? I don't want you to get dehydrated.”, John asked, caressing the younger one's hair.  
“Would you? Because I really am a bit thirsty.”   
“Of course. It'll only take a minute.”, with a peck on his lips he disappeared from the room.

“Hey, Ringsy! Hey, Georgie!”, John entered the kitchen.  
“Hey, John! Did Paul wake up, yet?”, Ringo asked. He was busy cooking a light soup while George made noodles.   
“Yeah, I'll make him some tea.”  
“How is he?”, he wanted to know.  
“Better. He's even hungry. Well, at least that's what he says.”  
“Good. Dinner is ready in about twenty minutes.”, Ringo informed him while cutting the remaining vegetables on the tables.  
John poured hot steaming water into a cup and added a teabag.   
“Why don't we eat while watching TV? It would be fun and distract Paul a little.”, George suggested, “Or would it spoil your bed rest plans for him?”   
“No, your idea sounds good to me. As long as he can lay down on the couch it's going to be all right.”, John answered. “Probably he'd like the distraction too. I guess I have the indignants for Popcorn somewhere lying around.”  
“Popcorn is one of the few edible things you have.”, Ringo grinned.  
“You could be right about this.”, John winked and took the cup of tea. “I'll be up then. Would you please be so nice and get the couch from the music room, so we have enough room?”  
“Of course and please ask Paul if he'd like to drink something different than tea. We also bought coke and beer though I think his stomach wouldn't agree with this. But maybe he'd like some water or a ginger Ale. You know, it's important he drinks enough. “  
“I will. See you later, boys.”  
Within twenty seconds John was up again, giving Paul the steaming cup.  
“Thanks.”, Paul said and began to sip his tea, smiling at John.  
“I talked with the lads. George suggested we could watch TV while eating dinner.”  
“Sounds good. What did you tell him?”   
“That I'd be all right with it as long as you are able to lay down in the meanwhile. Or are you too tired and would rather stay in bed? Because this would be okay too! I liked watching you sleeping!-”  
“No, I'd like to go downstairs for a while. Just- please, don't carry me again!”, Paul interrupted him.  
“Sorry, dear, but you now what I'm going to do. I won't let you stumble down the stairs just to pass out in the kitchen.”  
Paul sighed. “I already feared you'd say something like that.” 

About twenty-five minutes later the four Beatles sat (or laid in John's and Paul's case) on the two couches with a bowl of soup and noodles in their hands.  
They'd switched on the TV where just ran a new Star Trek episode. Ringo and George were on one of the sofas and the youngest threw jelly beans at the TV whenever some hot bird appeared at the display, while John and Paul had snuggled up close together on the other couch. Paul laid in John's arms under a heavy woollen blanket (on which John had insisted) and already felt a little sleepy again. He moved closer to John, who began to let his hands caress him under the cover.  
He started at his arms just to go slowly further down. Paul leaned into the affectionate touch and John gave him a peck on the lips. The younger one blushed a little, turning around to see if the others had noticed it.  
John put his finger under his chin and made him look up at him, before he kissed him again. This time it was more than just a peck. Paul felt a tongue licking at his bottom lip, silently asking for entry. Though he felt a bit unsure about it first (after all they were in one room with their friends), he quickly gave in, parted his lips and allowed John's tongue to slip in.  
The older one's hands wandered down his hips over his thighs before he let them rest on his bum carefully, almost hesitantly. Paul stroked John's hand in order to show him it was all right. Due to the younger one's reaction he steadied his grip a bit and deepened their kiss.   
Paul felt like heaven. He still couldn't believe he was actually kissed by John fucking Lennon! How long had he wished for this! To feel John's beautiful lips pressed against his own was an imagine he had been sure he'd never witness in his life, but now exactly this happened and it was even better than in his fantasy! Though they had been together for some time now, he still wasn't able to fully grasp it. He slung his hands around John's neck and shifted as close to him as possible.  
Ringo and George in the meantime had noticed the two lovebirds making out on the other couch only a few feet away from them.   
The oldest watched them with an approving smile on his face. Since he had gotten to know them in Hamburg he had admired their relationship. John could be very complicated sometimes. When he first met them he'd thought about him as a mean sarcastic bastard, but with the time he had began to understand and learned how to read him. The absolute opposite of this impression had been Paul, who was someone you thought you'd knew everything about, because he always seemed like he had nothing to hide from the world with his big innocent doe-eyes and his frank nature. But that wasn't true. He could be the most secretive one, which you were only able to notice if you spent years with him in the narrowest space. At the surface Paul was just a sweet lad with cute face which the lasses never seemed to get tired of, but nobody could ever say what was going on inside his head. Well except John maybe. Because though they were so different most of the times they understood each other better than anybody else. Somehow they always seemed to sense what the other one needed and what to do. It was an amazing connection and surely made up a big part of the success of the group, Ringo knew. So, seeing them sharing deep sloppy kisses just seemed natural to him. Plus he knew it really was a proof of trust of the couple to show their friends their affection for each other so freely with all the intimate touching.  
George whereas looked at his two friends and wondered how this had happened. Not that he wasn't okay with their relationship, but when he thought about young teenage Paul and infamous Lennon he couldn't help but musing what he had missed in his mates life.  
He clearly remembered the slightly older teenager he'd met at schoolbus. Paul had been a smart polite boy, who was great at school. Parents and teachers had loved the always ambitious and optimistic lad that could charm his way through everything. George himself had kind of admired and idolized him and the way he could fit in everywhere easily. But with his mother a part of him died too. George had tried to be there for him, but Paul never had let him, instead he'd smiled and said it was all right. But it wasn't. It had changed Paul though only very few had noticed it.  
George had never seen him cry because of her and it'd made him a little jealous at first when he found out John had. After the two had first met there hadn't been another topic for Paul for weeks! George had been pretty shocked first because of the older lad. He had known his reputation (hell, everybody at school had!) and found it hard to imagine sweet innocent Macca hanging out with aggressive savage Lennon (it took him a few weeks to figure out most things he'd heard about John were only rumours). He had really been worried when Paul started to smoke and came to school wearing Teddy Boy clothes and the famous Elvis Presley haircut. Not that he hadn't done it before occasionally, but this was different. He openly revolted against his dad, which was absolutely unlike him. This was one of the reasons George had wanted to join the Quarrymen, to keep an eye on Paul and to make sure John wouldn't hurt his friend. When he got to know the older boy better he didn't thought of it as too bad any more and they all became good friends. But now he was wondering if this “something” between John and Paul had always been there and how came he had never noticed before. Maybe it always had existed, but he just hadn't been able to define it.   
He looked at Ringo who raised an eyebrow and then he grinned.  
A second later a jelly bean flew at John's head. He looked up without letting go of Paul's plump lips and continued.  
“God, you're not going to have sex right now, are you?”, George played annoyed.  
Paul startled and pulled away from the older one, but before he could say “No, of course not!”, John already answered with a toothy grin: “Well, you should better turn up the volume.”  
“John!”, Paul's cheeks went pink again, while George threw another jelly bean at John.  
“And stop pelting your jelly beans at us! I know Macca looks like one of this hot birds, but I can ensure you he's not a lass! Ouch!”, Paul had elbowed him.   
“What was that for? I'm only defending your masculinity!”, John defended himself.  
“Is there still room for me on your couch?”, Paul asked, his voice playful annoyed. But when he tried to sat up, John pulled him laughing back into his arms immediately.  
“Oh no, Paulie dear! You're not going to leave me here all alone and cold with nobody to warm me!”, he grinned and snuggled closer to the younger boy who squirmed and laughed.  
“Well, I'm sure Georgie will take my place gratefully. He looks really keen on cuddling with you the rest of the evening!”  
George pulled a disgusted face and indicated he had to vomit, making the others laugh.  
“I don't want George!”, John whined, “He's too skinny and he doesn't have such huge lovely eyes like you!”  
“Then take Ringo!”, Paul laughed.  
“His nose is too big! There wouldn't be enough place at the sofa for the two of us!”  
“Hey!”, Ringo shouted and tossed one of George's jelly beans at him.   
John caught it with his mouth.   
“Thanks, I was hungry!”  
Paul had stopped struggling and laid back into Johns arm again, letting the older one kiss his moptop. They spent the next two hours cuddling with George and Ringo occasionally glancing at them and giving each other knowing smiles. After the last episode was over Paul was pretty much asleep, his head resting on John's chest.   
The other three smiled at the sweet scene in front of them.


	23. George wants to know why

“C'mon, Macca, let's get you to bed!”, John whispered and lifted him up with the blanket still wrapped around his body. Paul barely opened his eyes when he felt himself raised from the sofa.   
“I'll bring up some tea. He should drink something before he goes to sleep.”; Ringo said and the other two agreed.   
“Hey, darling. Try to open your eyes for a second, will you? Rings will get you a cup of tea any moment.”, John said while laying him down on the bed gingerly.  
His eyes fluttered open slowly and John could see how hard it was for him to keep them open.  
“Hi, Paul. Sorry to keep you awake, but you really need to drink a lot because of the fever.”, Ringo entered with the tea in his hand.   
“'s okay.”, he mumbled, “Thanks.” he added when Ringo gave him the tea.   
The oldest smiled at him and let his hand rest in a gentle gesture on his forehead briefly.   
Paul started to sip at the tea when George entered. He studied his three friends before he sat down next to John at the edge of the bed. There was something he had thought about for a while now, but he wasn't sure if this was the right moment to bring it up. On the other hand he didn't know if tomorrow would be a better time for this.   
“Can I ask you a question?”, he asked.  
The hesitation in his voice made Paul frown.  
“About Pete Best.”, he explained further. Paul's eyes widened.   
John and Ringo looked at each other.   
“George, it's pretty late by now and Paul's tired. Why don't you ask him tomorrow?”, John didn't want Paul to get upset again. It would do no good to him and his weak body.  
But apparently the weary Beatle didn't agree with John on that.   
“John, please! Course ye can ask me a question, Georgie.”, he said.   
“Well, you know, yesterday we pondered about why he chose you. You were the least involved in the decision of firing him. After all you were the one who always said that Pete was a decent drummer and we should keep him as long as we don't find a better one every time we complained about him. But then Brian told us you asked some strange questions about him, weeks before we decided to get rid off of him! So what happened between you two?”   
Paul rubbed his eyes, letting out a sigh. He knew there was no point in prolonging anything.  
“We had a fight.”, he explained, feeling John's hand on his shoulder for mental support. “A few weeks before you came up with the idea of firing him we were at Pete Shotton's Party, do you remember? Well, Pete Best was there too and by the end of the evening he was a little drunk. I wanted to ask him something about the next band practice when I approached him, but then I heard he was talking about us.”, he looked at John.  
“What do you mean, Macca?”, he squeezed his arm gently.  
“He-”, Paul shook his head, “he was standing there with about half a dozen people and told them we were queer for each other and that our mothers had to pay for it.”, he exhaled deeply, not daring to look up at his friends.  
“What?”, he could hear John was angry, but he couldn't stop right now.  
“Yeah, he said god punished us with our mums death for being queer and that we wouldn't even care. He said more such awful things but I couldn't stand it any longer and dragged him away from his friends into a deserted back alley and confronted him with what I'd heard. He just snapped at me and told me we'd deserve everything that had happened to us. I had never seen him like this before! Of course I asked him why he was so angry at us and what the hell was wrong with him, but he just continued to insult me, so I decided to leave him because there was absolutely no point in discussing with him as long as he was like this. But just when I turned around he grabbed my wrist, pressed me against the wall and kissed me. I was so shocked by his action I couldn't even move for a minute but then as soon as I realized what he was doing I pushed him away and ran home as fast as I could.”   
The others looked at him shocked. Nobody could bring out a word.  
Ringo cleared his throat. “What happened after this, Paul?”  
“I wanted to speak with him about it the next day at practice, but I couldn't really bring myself to do it and he didn't seem too keen on talking either, so I just... let it drop. At least till I heard from Ivan he was still saying such things at partys or pups when he was drunk. I thought maybe Brian knew something, so I asked him if Pete said anything to him, but he negated. I knew he'd destroy our reputation eventually and when you came up with the idea of kicking him out of the band I immediately took the chance and agreed.”, he finished.  
“Why did you never tell me, Macca?”, John asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. He didn't want Paul to think he was mad at him or to fright him.  
“You would have freaked out!”, Paul stated.  
“I'm sure I would have been able to handle it.”, John lied.  
Paul raised his eyebrow. “You would have killed him! You would've kicked him out of the band without thinking about it twice!”  
“So what? What would've been wrong with that?”  
“Well, firstly we needed a drummer and secondly I didn't want you to get into trouble. Again”, Paul explained, omitting he also had been scared that the others (especially John) would have laughed at him because of the kiss. They would have said something like “You can't really blame him. He just mistook you as a lass.”. That was how they would've dealt with such a thing a few years ago.   
John sighed. He knew Paul was right. He just didn't like the thought that the younger one had felt compelled to keep something from him. Plus he had the strong feeling Paul still hadn't told him everything.  
“So, he was in love with you, he got jealous of you and John and said some horrible things about the two of you. Then he tried his luck with this kiss, but you rejected him and when he got fired he blamed you automatically.”, Ringo resumed.  
“In love? With me? Hell no!”, Paul shook his head furiously, regretting it instantly because of the piercing headache he still had from his concussion. “I'm sure he was just curious about doing it with a man.”  
“But why did he behave like this? Didn't he know saying such things would jeopardize his career at the Beatles? Why did he act like a jealous bastard?”, George asked.  
“I don't know! Maybe he was disgusted with me because of what he wanted to do to me. Or he was disgusted by himself and took it out on us. But he was definitely not in love with me!”  
“All right.”, Ringo wasn't fully convinced, but he knew there was no point discussing this further. “I guess we should let you sleep then. Thanks for telling us.”, he added and stroked Paul's hair briefly.  
George looked like he wanted to ask something else but decided against it when he saw into Paul's tired and John's concerned eyes. So he just nodded in agreement, patted Paul's knee matey and followed Ringo who was standing by the door by now.  
“We're off then. If you two need something you can find us at the hotel. We'll call you tomorrow in the noon. For now, have a good night and get better soon, Paul!”  
“Thanks, Ritchie. I'll make sure he finds some rest!”, John promised, placing a little kiss on the younger one's forehead.  
“Yeah.”, Paul said, suppressing a yawn, “Thanks for everything, mates.”   
The other two left the room and five minutes later they could hear how the front door closed behind them.


	24. First time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I'm sorry it took me so long but I was really busy with school .Thanks for all the kudos and reviews!   
> This chapter is for Paul McCartneys 75th birthday, though I'm not sure he would like it ;)  
> It's pretty long but I hope you enjoy it nevertheless

“Come on, Macca, it's bedtime now!”, John said and took the empty cup from the other one's hands. “You really need to sleep!”  
Paul sighed but let John push him down onto the bed again. John began to open his trousers to undress himself.  
“Would you have laughed at me?”, Paul asked all of a sudden.  
John stopped his movement feeling there was a need to talk and laid down and turned on his side, facing the dark haired one while supporting his head with his hand.   
“What for?”  
“The kiss. If I told you Pete tried to kiss me, would you have made fun of me?”  
John wanted to answer “Never, dear.”, but he knew this wouldn't be completely honest. He was totally aware of the fact he often hadn't been a nice lad back in the fiftys and especially for Paul, the way too polite boy with the perfect face and the almost annoyingly cheerfulness, he had seldomly showed mercy. At least in the beginning.   
On the other hand he also never permitted someone different than himself to have his way with the younger lad like this. No, he was the only one who was allowed to make fun of Paul's huge doe eyes and long lashes and his incredible cute chubby cheeks.  
“No, I don't think so, but even if I'd have, you know, I wouldn't have meant it and I'd told Pete to stay the fuck away from you!”, the thought that Paul hadn't dared to tell him about the kiss because he had been scared of John's reaction, justly, made him even more guilty. Maybe if he hadn't always acted like an asshole...   
“John, you know it wasn't your fault, right?”, Paul let his hand rest on John's chest in a gentle gesture. John looked at him a sad smile on his face.  
“I know, I just... if I had been there and told him to fuck of, if I had threatened to go to police or just beaten him up, maybe he wouldn't-”  
“Shhh!”, Paul kissed his lips gingerly. “It's okay, John, it wouldn't have changed a thing, I'm sure. Maybe he even would've done it earlier.”  
John knew Paul was probably right. Nevertheless he promised himself to keep a watchful eye on him in the future. What happened today should never replay in any way.  
John deepened their kiss and brushed a strand of Paul's thick soft hair out of his face. After they parted, he pulled Paul as close as he could, making him giggle when he nuzzled his neck with his nose.   
“I'll never, ever leave you, Paulie, I promise.”  
“I know, Johnny. I won’t leave you either!”, Paul smiled cutely. John could barely stand the sweetness and the honesty in the younger man's eyes. He climbed upon him and started a passionate kiss. He ravished his mouth while still making sure to be gentle and not too rough with injured Paul. His hands wandered down his sides till they rested on his hips firmly. Paul suppressed a moan when John's already semi-hard cock brushed against his own.   
“J-John...”, he whispered weakly.  
“Want me to stop?”  
His cheeks reddened. “No, just go slow.”  
“Of course, I will. I won't do anything without your permission, all right?”  
Paul nodded.   
“Good. Say if I'm going too far or something's wrong.”, John said, straddling the young man's lap a little. He began to kiss and lick at his neck, making sure there was going to be a hickey the next day, while tucking at the hem of the T-Shirt Paul had slipped on before watching TV with the others.   
The dark haired one understood immediately and lifted himself up a bit, so John could drag it over his head.   
As soon as John saw the ivory coloured yet unmarked skin he released his neck and made his way further down to the gorgeous body beneath him. Paul blushed a little at the sight of John liking his lips seductively while looking up and down his semi-naked friend.   
Paul couldn't hold back a moan when John bent over to nibble at his erected nipples.   
“Sorry.”, he apologized instantly, his face flushed bright red.  
“Don't be. Please, don't hold back, Paulie, I'd like to hear you!”, John begged, caressing the sensitive skin directly above his boxershorts.  
The younger one hesitated before he let out a shy moan, blushing immediately. John knew he was normally very vocal during Sex. He'd heard him in Hamburg many times before and now he wanted to hear this sounds again. This time caused by himself.   
“Don't be so shy. There's no reason to be embarrassed about it. You know, I love your voice.”, John looked him in the eyes and caressed his red cheek in a loving manner.   
“I-I'll try...”, Paul whispered, kissing the older one sweetly. John responded immediately, running his hands up and down the younger lad's sides.   
Paul still was a bit shy, but slowly he relaxed under John's touch and when their crotches brushed against each other, he didn't even try to hold back a groan.   
“God, you're beautiful!”, John groaned, attacking his lips once again.   
Paul in the meanwhile slung his legs around John's waist, trying to repeat the movement. The older one smiled against his lips and began to stroke Paul's thighs.   
Paul pulled at the hem of John's shirt and the auburn haired one let him drag it over his head and it fell onto the floor next to Paul's. But the shirt wasn't enough. He also pulled at John's jeans to indicate him to take them of too. He still felt a bit too timid to do it.  
John grinned, unbuckling his belt and opening the zip. Then he took his friend's hands in his own, kissing them and leading them down to pull down his pants. Paul blushed.   
“It's okay, Paulie.”, John soothed him, giving him some butterfly kisses on his neck. “Want me to go a step further?”, he asked, gesturing at his boxers, making Paul flush even more but nodding nevertheless.   
“All right.”, John took his hands again, guiding them down to the hem of his shorts. He wanted Paul to feel safe and maybe it was easier for him if he saw John first.   
Paul's face was bright red and he averted his eyes when John let his underwear slip down more and more, exposing his erected cock.   
“Please, open your eyes.”, he begged and Paul did as he was told, coming face to face with John's erection which stood tall and proud. “If this is too much to you, tell me and I stop.”   
“N-no, please, continue.”  
“All right, just relax.”, John said, kissing his lips to sooth him, steadily going further down. First over his neck, then licking and sucking the younger one's nipples before he kissed his way further down to the thin black line of hair which lead on downward and ended under his boxers.  
“May I?”, he asked gesturing at his crotch.   
Paul nodded, face still flushed.  
He rubbed himself against Paul's thigh, groaning, before he cupped him through his boxer briefs carefully. The younger one gasped, leaning into the touch. John smiled when he felt him thrusting his hips up to meet his hand again. The older one continued to palm him and Paul began to moan freely this time. John looked down at him and felt his own cock twitch in anticipation.  
He could feel how the bulge beneath his hands hardened and the spot covering his tip got wet with pre-cum.  
“Would you mind if we took this of?”, John asked, gesturing at his shorts.   
Paul flushed deeply and murmured something incoherent.   
“What did you say, dear? You don't have to if you don't want, you know.”, he caressed his thighs soothingly.  
“N-no, it's all right.”, Paul whispered, shifting his weight up in order to let John remove his boxers.  
“Okay, just try to relax, yeah? Remember, I won't hurt you.”, he began to pull down his underwear slowly while Paul only nodded and tried to concentrate on his breathing.   
Okay, this wasn't like that what Pete or Brian had done to him. He wanted this! He wanted John! Why on earth was it so hard to enjoy for him?  
John sensed his uneasiness.  
“We can stop this now, Paulie, you just have to say it.”  
“No, I want this. I can do it, John!”, he knew he could, he just needed to calm the fuck down.  
“I know.”, John had stopped to undress him, his cock half exposed and looked at him patiently when he started to kiss his chest and swirled his tongue around Paul's nipple.  
The younger one let himself enjoy it and his breath evened. He inhaled deeply one last time and took John's hands in his own gently. This time it was him who guided their fingers further down to his midsection. The older one looked him in the eyes the whole time, on his face a genuine smile.   
Paul helped him to get rid of his underwear. He felt how his cock hit the fresh air and gasped. John threw the piece of garment on the ground next to their other clothes, still keeping his eyes on his face, which made Paul a lot more comfortable.  
Slowly the older one crawled up and bent forward to steal himself a meaningful kiss. While deepening their kiss, John accidentally made their bare erections brush which caused a deep moan by both of them.  
Paul felt like he was on fire. Being naked with John Lennon wasn't awkward or scary any more, it just felt right. Their kisses felt natural and intimate like nothing he'd ever experienced before and their touches made him burn and left him aching for more. His shyness had almost completely vanished and the last reminders were buried somewhere deep down inside himself. This was John and he trusted him completely.   
He slung his legs around John's middle in order to cause more friction. They moaned into each others mouths, never breaking their kiss. John licked with his tongue over Paul's teeth while kneading every piece of bare flesh he could reach. Paul had his hands in the other one's hair, stroking and petting his backside while thrusting his hips up to meet John's.   
John wondered what had caused Paul's change in behaviour but at the same time couldn't bring himself to care too much. All he could think of right now was how he loved this and how he loved the younger man.   
Paul decided to surprise John and get the upper hand for a moment. He flipped them over so he was lying on top now.   
John chuckled in surprise. He hadn't expect that, but he couldn't say he didn't like it. He grinned up at him approvingly, letting Paul attack his neck and grinned their hips together. The younger one was much more vocal now. John loved the genuine sound of his voice, the sweet moans and the little gasps.   
“Paul!”, he groaned out his name.  
“Mmhhh, Johnny!”  
The auburn haired one grabbed his ass and gave him a good squeeze, making Paul moan. The younger one got his revenge, when he bent down to John's nipples. He stopped thrusting and took one in his mouth licking and sucking on him till he had John sweating and squirming beneath him. Just when John was about to say something Paul bit into his sensitive flesh lightly. This was something no one had ever done to him before. He moaned out loud Paul's name and threw his head back.   
The dark haired one grinned at him knowingly and pulled back a little. He looked John directly in the eyes when he blew cold air at his erected wet nipple. John closed his eyes, whimpering weakly. God, he wanted this boy so much! Wanted to pin him down and wipe this smug grin off his face.   
“Paul...”, he moaned.   
“Yes, Johnny?”, he asked looking down at him innocently.  
John grinned back and flipped them around again.   
“May I?”, he resisted the urge to pin his hands down onto the mattress. He didn't want to scare Paul with dubious actions like this, but the younger lad only grinned.  
“Sure, Johnny.”   
John let his hands wander down.   
“Can I touch you?”, he asked. Despite Paul's new confidence he was pretty sure that there had to be a trigger somewhere which would change him into an insecure blushing virgin again. Not that John wasn't okay with this site of Paul. After everything he'd been through it was only natural to react like this and he was unbelievable impressed of his boyfriend for being this strong and never giving up. He knew, if something like this had happened to him, he would’ve broken. He'd freak out completely. The last reminders of his faith in humans would crumble and he wouldn't let anybody near him, let alone have sex with him! No, he admired Paul for this and wanted him to enjoy this as much as possible without frightening him further.  
Paul nodded, spreading his legs to give John access. They were both painfully hard by now and when John touched his naked erection for the first time they both groaned. John looked down at him, trying to save every detail of Paul's beautiful body. The white skin at his bare round thighs, the equally curved ass and hips and his waist which you could almost mistake with the one of a lass (though John was definitely not going to tell him this!), not to forget deep black pubic hair which lead down to his cock. John gasped. It would sound really really really queer to say that this prick was as beautiful as his owner himself, but there he was, not able to advert his eyes from his best mate's manhood. Of course he'd seen him before and he always thought of him as arousing but he had never dared to glance much longer than a few seconds because of the risk to get caught. But now the situation was different.   
Paul wasn't as big as him, but not too small either. He was ivory coloured like the rest of his skin and his tip was lightly red, smeared with pre cum.   
Paul's face was slightly flushed but he didn't look as uncomfortable as before.   
John began to stroke his friend's dick slowly while claiming his plump lips with his own. Paul moaned into the kiss, carefully reaching down to grasp John's hard on. He cupped his balls hesitantly and began to squeeze him carefully. John's loud moaning gave him more confidence and he quickened his movement.   
When John felt himself ready to explode he took himself and Paul in his hands and started to stroke and squeeze and rubbed their tips against each other, making the out coming pre cum mingle together. Paul gasped at the sensation and John could sense he was close too.   
“Jesus Christ!...John!”, he moaned, eyes wide open, “I'm going to...”  
“Want me to make you cum?”, he whispered hotly into his ear and saw with satisfaction how the dark haired one threw his head in his neck moaning something he would interpret as a 'yes'.   
John had to keep himself from letting go and coming instantly at the scene in front of him. But he held it back partly because he still had his pride and John Lennon never came first, but mainly because he wanted to see Paul McCartney's face as he climaxed.   
He felt the tension building up in his stomach and knew he wasn’t going to last long.  
John looked him in the eyes and saw the last reminders of insecurity. He cupped his cheeks and gave him a peck.   
“It's all right, Paulie, just let it go and cum for me.”   
As soon as this words had left his mouth he felt Paul relax under him and reaching his climax. He squirmed and panted and moaned John's name while his eyes rolled back in his head. John was sure he'd never heard sweeter noises than the ones Paul was making right now and the feeling of hot seed being spilled on his own dick and stomach made him falling over the edge too with the younger one's name on his lips. He collapsed onto him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To celebrate mclennon day 2017 here is the penultimate chapter of this Story! If you have any questions you can find me on Tumblr https://johannavierow.tumblr.com/

They both needed a moment to come down from the high of their orgasm and to milk the rest cum out of them.  
John looked down affectionately at Paul who was still trying to get his breath under control again. He kissed the tip of his nose sweetly before he bent over to open the drawer in his night stand and get out a cloth, which he used to wipe of the cum of Paul and himself.  
He rolled off of him, instantly pulling him in a close embrace, after covering the both of them with a blanket.  
“This- this was absolutely amazing!”, he was still a little out of breath, “How are you feeling? You all right?”  
Paul smiled at him widely. “Everything's perfect, Johnny!”  
John chuckled, nuzzling his face with his nose and Paul slung his arm around his middle, holding the older one tightly against him.  
“I love you so freaking much, you know?”, John let his hand stroke through his lover's hair.  
“I know, I love you too.”  
“So, it was okay for you?”, John asked, needing to make sure he hadn't misinterpret something.  
“It was more than okay! It was- hell John- it was fantastic! You were fantastic!”, he looked at him happily.  
John smiled. “I just wanted to say the same about you! Honestly, were did you get this biting and blowing trick from? I thought I was the only one who taught you about sex.”, he chuckled while Paul blushed a little. He remembered the hot summer afternoon on the graveyard in 1958 when he'd told young innocent Paul McCartney how to seduce and please birds. Paul had been dark red rest end of the day and had an impressive hard on which he'd tried to hide from him, but had failed miserably.  
“Well, I'm not sixteen any more, am I?”  
“No”, John grinned, “but you still look like you were!”  
“Am not!”, Paul protested, pouting.  
“Yes, you do. You still have the same cute chubby cheeks”, he said cupping his cheek, “and this beautiful huge doe eyes with that long girly lashes of yours and this perfectly shaped eyebrows”, he caressed the area around his eyes “this cute nose,”, he said, causing Paul to scrunch up his nose when he touched the tip “and not to forget this sweet sinful lips, you've got there!”, he kissed the corner of his mouth sweetly, making the younger one's face flush furiously.  
“See? This hasn't changed either! You're still blushing when someone compliments you. You really don't know how adorable you look like this!”, he laughed when Paul's cheeks got even darker and he hid his face on John's shoulder.  
“Sod of, Lennon!”  
“What ever you want, my beautiful princess!”  
John was happy. Nobody had satisfied him like Paul had today. Now he knew for sure it wouldn't matter if Paul never was able to have proper sex with him.  
The younger man let out a huge yawn, which remembered John how tired the lad had been when he'd carried him upstairs, making him feel a little guilty for keeping him awake (only a little though).  
“Do you feel sleepy, Paulie?”, he asked, “I know you were already tired before.”  
“A bit.”, he admitted and looked up at him with big weary eyes. That look caused John to smile at him and pull the covers up to Paul's chin before he got up to switch of the light.  
He sensed Paul looking at his naked behind and began to exaggeratedly swing his hips and slap himself on the ass, which made Paul laugh and blush at the same time.  
When he climbed back into bed again, the younger one nestled closer in John's possessive embrace instantly.  
“Do you want something before we go to sleep? A glass of water? Using the loo?”, he asked, making sure he'd be all right.  
Paul shook his head.  
“No, just you.”, he assured him, smiling sweetly up at his boyfriend.  
“You're gear, you know.”, he told him and began to pet his hair and caress his stomach which hadn't settled down completely yet.  
“You too.”, Paul had closed his eyes to enjoy the gentle intimate touch of his friend. John smiled, stealing himself a brief kiss and pulled back quickly when Paul's eyes fluttered open.  
He grinned and pulled John in again for a proper kiss. Their soft cocks brushed against each other (they were still naked after all) and John found himself liking this new sensation very much.  
“Should we put on some boxers or something?”, Paul asked a bit awkwardly, feeling his cheeks heaten up a little  
“Oh, I like feeling your naked prick against mine.”, John grinned, making the younger one's face flush to no end. “You don't know how hot you looked like this all sprawled out in front of me. Making me so unbelievable horny.”  
“John!”, he whined and began to squirm out of discomfort, “Stop saying things that make me blush!”  
“Whatever you want, dear!”, he grinned, shifting a bit in order to rub his cock against Paul's a little. If they hadn't climaxed only minutes ago, they'd be rock hard again by now.  
“John!”, Paul's face burned bright red. “I'll get some boxers!”, he said and made a move to get up, but John held him back and pressed himself against him teasingly.  
“Don't leave me, Paulie! You know, I'm nothing without you!”, he cried over dramatically and pulled Paul on top of him.  
“What are you doing?!”, the dark haired one struggled to get free laughing. In the process he rubbed himself against John's crotch inadvertently and felt his cock hardened slightly. John held onto him tightly. The younger one didn't want to get more aroused and stilled his movement.  
“Have fun there?”, he feigned annoyance.  
“Yeah, a lot, actually.”, his older friend grinned.  
His tiredness had vanished completely when he felt John's hands on his ass and how he squeezed him. He tried to suppress a moan without much success. The auburn haired one grinned knowingly at him when he felt Paul's cock hardened against his thigh.  
“Is someone up for round two already?”, he teased.  
Paul blushed severely, but he tried to ignore his burning cheeks and grinned back at John instead.  
“Well, better hurry to keep up with me then, old man!”  
“Wait a second and I'll give you your old man!”, he flipped him around and attacked his neck again. 

It was about twenty minutes and a lot of moaning, gasping and groaning later, when the two laid sweating in each others arms. John tightened his embrace around the younger one, kissing his hair.  
“I can't believe we did it a second time!”, Paul panted.  
“Yeah, but it was gear!”, John smiled at him.  
“I can't disagree with you on this!”, he smiled back.  
“I guess you're pretty tired now after coming twice.”, John cupped his cheek affectionately.  
“You did too!”, Paul blushed.  
“Oh yeah, I did!”, he chuckled and nuzzled his nose against Paul's. “But I'm not the one still suffering from a concussion, a fever and well, everything else that happened to you recently.”, he caressed his jaw with his thump gently.  
“I'm perfectly fine right now!”  
Paul smiled and leaned into the soft touch. He really appreciated the kindness and gentleness John evinced since they were together.  
“I bet you are!”, John laughed making Paul blush again. “Come on, you need your beauty sleep now, princess!”, he said and turned him around so he was facing away from him and John could press himself against his back, slinging his arms around his waist.  
Paul could feel John's cock against his bum but this time he was too exhausted to care. He snuggled back into the older one's arms and closed his eyes.  
“I love you, John!”, he mumbled.  
In the next moment he felt John's lip press against his neck. “I love you too, Macca dear! Sleep well, my love!”  
“You too.”, he yawned and laid his hand on John's which were slung around his middle and caressed it with his thumb. The older one raised the cover higher to keep his lover warm, while Paul already had fallen asleep in his embrace.


	26. Prolog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I can't believe this is actually the last chapter! I'm really getting melodramatic right now!  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it and thanks to accio-johnlennon for reminding me to post it.   
> I'm going to post the second part of my Story soon and i hope you'll Keep reading.

Paul didn't know how late it was when he woke up again. He searched for the clock on the wall but it was still pretty dark outside so he couldn't see much. Nonetheless he knew he couldn't have slept more than a couple of hours, but when he closed his eyes and nestled back into the warm body behind him, he discovered the reason he'd woken up so early. His stomach troubled him again and he felt nausea. He sighed silently and carefully loosened John's arms around his waist to got up.   
He still was a bit shaky when he put on his boxers quickly and made his way to the loo, but he surely wasn't going to wake up John.   
Throwing up didn't felt as bad as before and this time it only took a few heaves till everything he'd eaten was out of his system. Well, it wasn't very pleasant, but still.  
Paul had bent over the sink this time because the toilette flush was pretty loud and he didn't want to disturb his boyfriend. Boyfriend. He smiled at the thought.   
He rinsed out the sink and his mouth and with a wet towel he cleaned his lips.   
He found he didn't really feel like sleeping any more. His thoughts were restless and for the first time in weeks he felt like making music again. It almost surprised himself how strong the urge to play was.   
He opened the bag Brian had brought a couple of days ago (it almost felt like an eternity) and which John had left in the bathroom, to take out his notebook.   
Paul made his way downstairs silently and went into the small music room. He had this beautiful melody in his head and now he just had to find a way to express it through instruments.   
He was sure John wouldn't mind if he used his piano.   
For hours he sat there like in trance. The music was floating his veins, he couldn't stop scribbling down the words coming to his mind and he totally forgot the time. 

It was around eight o'clock when John woke up. The sun was shinning through the curtains, illuminating the empty site of the bed next to him. John sat up immediately.  
“Paul?”  
He cursed under his breath and jumped out of the bed. Maybe he just had to vomit again. He didn't want to think of the possibility Paul had passed out and laid somewhere in the cold.  
He ran to the bathroom, but Paul wasn't there. He noticed the wet towel which laid on the sink and the slightly sour taste in the air nevertheless. So he really had been sick, but where was he now? If he had fainted on his way back to bed he would've noticed him laying unconscious on the floor.   
He decided to search for Paul in the rest of the house.   
He ran down the stairs, but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard music playing.   
“Paul?”, he sprinted into the music room.   
The younger one sat on the piano stool, writing down something. He seemed totally concentrated on his task and didn't even noticed John entering. To his horror he realized his lover wasn't wearing anything but boxer briefs.  
“Paulie?”, he asked again but the dark haired one didn't even look up.   
“Paul!”, he laid his hand on his shoulder.   
Paul flinched and finally noticed John.  
“Oh! Hi, I didn't want to wake you. Couldn't sleep any more. I hope you don't mind I used your piano.”  
“Heaven, Paul!”, John exclaimed. He laid his hands on his chest and cheek. “You are cold as ice!”, he grabbed a blanket which laid on one of the two armchairs in the room and wrapped it around his shoulders instantly.   
“Why are you sitting in the cold with nothing on but your boxers? Were you sick again?”  
“I'm writing a song!”, Paul looked at him with childish excitement, making John sigh. He was relieved Paul was all right as far as he could tell, but he didn't understand why he was sitting there at eight o'clock in the bloody morning, writing a new song while still being ill.   
“You are feeling fine?”  
“I'm all right, Johnny! I just couldn't sleep any more.”, Paul waved with his hand impatiently, wanting to concentrate on his work again.   
“You mean after throwing up?”, it wasn't enough for John to know the answer, he needed Paul to admit it.  
“Yeah, after throwing up! But I really am fine now!”, Paul tried to defend himself. “Look, I woke up with the feeling I had to vomit. So I got up and after I finished I didn't feel like sleeping any more. I had this melody in my head and decided to work a bit on it. That's all.”, he explained.  
“Paul, you scared me to death! When I woke up and you weren't there I-”  
“I'm sorry, John! I really didn't mean to. I just wanted to let you sleep!”, Paul apologized. It was true. He had planned to be back in bed when John woke up but completely forgot the time.  
“It's all right. I know, you didn't mean to. How long are you playing anyway?”, John asked a bit softer this time.  
“I don't know. A couple of hours maybe. It was still dark when I started.”, Paul answered honestly.   
“A couple of-”, John interrupted himself when he slung his arms around the younger one, easily lifting him up from the chair.   
“John!”, Paul cried, almost dropping his notebook he was still holding. “Let me down again! I have to finish this!”  
But John carried him upstairs merciless.   
“Oh no, Darling! You're cold, you almost didn't sleep and you're still sick! I basically have no other choice than to get you up!”, John kept Paul from struggling out his arms.   
“John, I'm fine!”  
“No, you aren't!”, John dropped Paul and himself onto the bed and covered him with the blanket. He held onto him tightly to warm him up and rubbed his icy shoulders gently.   
He sighed, “God, Paulie! You really shouldn't stand up! Especially not when I'm not there to-”  
“To what, John? I get along perfectly well. At least enough to make my way downstairs and play some music.”, Paul protested. He didn't sound angry just a little desperate.  
“I know, dear, I know. I was just concerned you could stumble and fall with that wobbly legs of yours.”  
“And why can't you just tell me this, instead of picking me up and carry me around like a little child?”, Paul asked.   
“Oh, Paulie, I really didn't mean to treat you like a kid! I just couldn't stand the thought of you being down there in the cold any longer.”  
Paul sighed.   
“Don't be mad at me, honey pie!”, John joked and pulled a silly face, making the younger one laugh.   
“Honey pie?”, he asked in disbelieve, “Are fucking kidding me!?”  
“Maybe.”, John grinned at him. It seemed as if the old Paul was back again. In contrast to the last days where he had felt too weak to earnestly contradict or discuss something. Now he was talking back.  
“Come on, Macca, just lay back and try to sleep again. You're still not completely healthy and the cold hasn't done you any good.”, John kissed his temple and closed his grip around him tightened. “You know, George and Ringo are going to kill me if they ever find out.”  
“Ringo wouldn't kill you.”, Paul smiled, closing his eyes. Now where he laid down comfortable in his boyfriend's warm embrace, he actually felt tired.   
“George would kill me for two.”  
“If you're lucky.”, he yawned, making John chuckle.   
“Just sleep, Macca dear! You can finish this song later and I can promise you, this time I'm not going to fall asleep!”  
“You know, I find it scary when you're watching me sleeping.”, Paul murmured, eyes closed and already half asleep.  
“Deal with it!”, John kissed his nose and watched how it scrunched up cutely.  
The last thing Paul felt before he completely fell asleep was John, stroking his hair and pressing their bodies together and his last thought was that he'd get over everything that happened recently. Pete, the accident, Brian. Everything but John and his love to him.   
“It's getting better.”, he whispered, barely audible and then in the next moment he was far away in his dreamland.   
John looked at his boyfriend's sleeping features smiling. When he was sure, Paul was deeply enough asleep he nestled closer to him and took the notebook he was still holding onto to lay it on his night stand. But the book fell out of his hands, revealing Paul's new song. 

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away  
now it looks as though they're here to stay  
Oh I believe in yesterday

Suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be  
There's a shadow hanging over me  
Oh yesterday came suddenly

Yesterday love was such an easy game to play  
Now I need a place to hide away  
Oh I believe in yesterday

 

John smiled. Despite the sad lyrics Paul was going to be all right. It was just his way to deal with it.   
He thought about the beautiful melody the younger one had played when he'd entered.   
This was absolutely going to be a number one hit, he knew, and even more important Paul would get over the things Pete Best had done to him with a little help from their friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left commentars and kudos, I really appreciated it!


End file.
